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lonelywolf

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I am so crazy. I know I am. I am afraid I am going to end up , get this, all alone. cliche around here huh? I am fine right now, I just transfered to a new college. But I just cannot connect with other people. I find them shallow and feel like they would not understand me.

I have delved into this world inside my head. Where i am a hero and am loved. I am in control. I am talking about daydreams, dreams, movies I watch, ect. I obsess over show after show. . .Like stargate, any anime, and now it is Doctor Who. I want so much to be taken away. For this great thing to happen to me. Where I am important and what I do matters, and it is an adventure, and someone cares about me. I find when I wake up that life is listless and pointless. I'd rather be at home, or daydreaming.

People who have the same interests as me (anime, sci-fi, ect.) I find I do not fit in with. I am never the same person everyday. Some days I am girly and other times I am punk...ect. I don't think the same way they do, I do not live in herds. I am a loner. I do not associate with groups. God I hate myself. I am tired of thinking. I wonder what the point of getting up everyday and going to school will accomplish.

I want so badly for something to happen to me. Something amazing like in the movies. I hate myself, and often tell myself that even if those things could happen, they would never happen to you because you are stupid and a horrible person. I don't know what to do.

I want something better than this world, this rat race. So, that is my rant. : ) I know it sounds crazy. But I am trapping myself in my mind b/c I hate who I am and everything I do in reality, I guess.
 
lonelywolf said:
I am so crazy. I know I am. I am afraid I am going to end up , get this, all alone. cliche around here huh? I am fine right now, I just transfered to a new college. But I just cannot connect with other people. I find them shallow and feel like they would not understand me.

I have delved into this world inside my head. Where i am a hero and am loved. I am in control. I am talking about daydreams, dreams, movies I watch, ect. I obsess over show after show. . .Like stargate, any anime, and now it is Doctor Who. I want so much to be taken away. For this great thing to happen to me. Where I am important and what I do matters, and it is an adventure, and someone cares about me. I find when I wake up that life is listless and pointless. I'd rather be at home, or daydreaming.

People who have the same interests as me (anime, sci-fi, ect.) I find I do not fit in with. I am never the same person everyday. Some days I am girly and other times I am punk...ect. I don't think the same way they do, I do not live in herds. I am a loner. I do not associate with groups. God I hate myself. I am tired of thinking. I wonder what the point of getting up everyday and going to school will accomplish.

I want so badly for something to happen to me. Something amazing like in the movies. I hate myself, and often tell myself that even if those things could happen, they would never happen to you because you are stupid and a horrible person. I don't know what to do.

I want something better than this world, this rat race. So, that is my rant. : ) I know it sounds crazy. But I am trapping myself in my mind b/c I hate who I am and everything I do in reality, I guess.

Wow, I thought I was the only one who could think like that :p. You have all the same problems I have. At least I'm not alone :)
 
Hello.

Sounds as though we have a dreamer here!

I daydream all the bloody time. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember, and I consider it a hobby, though I don't usually list it as one of my interests because of the weird looks I get.

I love Doctor Who...don't tell me what happens in the season finale though, because it hasn't aired here yet.

Songs about life being a movie I would suggest you listen to are:

* Okkervil River - Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe
* Postal Service - Clark Gable

P.S. You don't sound crazy at all.

lonelywolf said:
I am so crazy. I know I am. I am afraid I am going to end up , get this, all alone. cliche around here huh? I am fine right now, I just transfered to a new college. But I just cannot connect with other people. I find them shallow and feel like they would not understand me.

I have delved into this world inside my head. Where i am a hero and am loved. I am in control. I am talking about daydreams, dreams, movies I watch, ect. I obsess over show after show. . .Like stargate, any anime, and now it is Doctor Who. I want so much to be taken away. For this great thing to happen to me. Where I am important and what I do matters, and it is an adventure, and someone cares about me. I find when I wake up that life is listless and pointless. I'd rather be at home, or daydreaming.

People who have the same interests as me (anime, sci-fi, ect.) I find I do not fit in with. I am never the same person everyday. Some days I am girly and other times I am punk...ect. I don't think the same way they do, I do not live in herds. I am a loner. I do not associate with groups. God I hate myself. I am tired of thinking. I wonder what the point of getting up everyday and going to school will accomplish.

I want so badly for something to happen to me. Something amazing like in the movies. I hate myself, and often tell myself that even if those things could happen, they would never happen to you because you are stupid and a horrible person. I don't know what to do.

I want something better than this world, this rat race. So, that is my rant. : ) I know it sounds crazy. But I am trapping myself in my mind b/c I hate who I am and everything I do in reality, I guess.
 
hiya, fellow canine. it 's not the best thing to hate yourself for being different and unique. i used to do that myself; thinking of how broken i was for not being able to fit in the mob. then realized i was made different; i don't like playing games, i don't like loud people, don't get what they're laughing about, "soshallowizing" , etc... i just let it go. it seems you can't get along with anybody until you let your true nature flourish at least a little. all that dreaminess and love that you keep inside must be expressed somehow. there is someone out there who's very like you and would like to meet you. and there are people out there who would like you just the way you are truly inside.
 
Wow. Thanks guys. I never thought anyone felt the way I did. I used to talk about it, but people would be like.....'yeah....ok...just get over it'.

diamond dancer: I promise not to tell!!! Best show ever I would say. It hasn't helped my daydreaming at all. . .David Tennant is very cute.

husky: I am trying to be myself. I do not know how to express it really. I am trying. I
 
(sorry, posted too soon)

I feel I am getting better at it.



Today I met a guy and we got some coffee and liked a lot of the same things. I told him I only wanted to be friends though, cause I did not feel like he was 'the one'. . .(I know. . too many movies) He said we'd take it slow. I freak out, i feel like I am being cornered everytime some guys is interested in me. I dunno. I don't want to waste his time or mine. I am going to be firm about being friends, bu things can always change. I feel like I am waiting for this amazing thing to happen. I don't want to be in a relationship I don't really care that much about if it happens. Does that make sense? I feel like I will know when i meet HIM. That guy. I just really want someone to care about me and for me. The guys I like do not exist.

Thanks again for all your caring posts. I was prepared for people to start shouting at me 'Lighten up! It is not a dream. . .ect."
 
Also, I just freak out like I said when guys tell me I am nice, pretty, or whatever. Not only do I feel cornered, I feel that I can't breathe and I begin worrying, worrying. Like what if he is crazy and stalks/kills me? I have terrible anxiety. I take Zolaft for it. But since I came to school, it is not working. I worry so much it is killing me!!! Too much to write about, Sorry I can't keep my thoughts straight.
 
lonelywolf said:
(sorry, posted too soon)

I feel I am getting better at it.

Today I met a guy and we got some coffee and liked a lot of the same things. I told him I only wanted to be friends though, cause I did not feel like he was 'the one'. . .(I know. . too many movies) He said we'd take it slow. I freak out, i feel like I am being cornered everytime some guys is interested in me. I dunno. I don't want to waste his time or mine. I am going to be firm about being friends, bu things can always change. I feel like I am waiting for this amazing thing to happen. I don't want to be in a relationship I don't really care that much about if it happens. Does that make sense? I feel like I will know when i meet HIM. That guy. I just really want someone to care about me and for me. The guys I like do not exist.

Thanks again for all your caring posts. I was prepared for people to start shouting at me 'Lighten up! It is not a dream. . .ect."

Mmm...thing with idealism is that you start to realise pretty quickly that nothing or no one is ever going to fit the picture in your head, and that's quite a sad thought.
 
hey,
you dont sound crazy..i get lost my own world as well..a world i've created through writing...there can be a hellva lot better than this world lol..so it's not so bad a thing to do..just try and balance out your life as well
social interaction is good...
i like how you referred to this world as rat race though..
i often feel like that as well..like i wish things were just more laid back and simple..not like the race race we live in...gotta get an education and do all this other crap that society has produced for us; so you can make money to survive...boy do i wish it was more simple ...

thing is though you have to make the rat race work for you...studying isn't so bad if you are studying something that you are truely intrested in, neither is working..if you are doing something you like...
and at the end of the day..who cares whether you are a millionaire or not...i mean it would be nice..but you can be happy with all that..you just have to remember to balance your life..and although you are a loner ..sometimes you are gonna need people..so make a few friends (i think those stuff..dont know if its true you or not)
 
I used to live in a bit of a dream world when I was unemployed and had alot of time on my hands. Now that my world is busier I tend to be thinking about other things.
 
You aren't crazy, I have day dreams like that all the time. Well, you say you can't find anyone that has the same interests you do, but since you like anime then you just found someone that really likes that interest (me). lol

If you want you can PM me or something, I can talk about anime all night. It's some great stuff. ^_^
 
ahem, *points to anime thread*

anyways :rolleyes: I don't think there's anytime during the day that I'm not fantasizing about something (Unless I'm playing video games and even then lol). It's usually anime related (kinda), I mean like I'll watch a series (or movie) through and just get totally lost in it... This happens with other media too (like live action movies sometimes). My life is so **** boring I have to fantasize to keep my sanity. I have a feeling I'm just setting myself up for a big letdown though... but who knows, I'm only 21, life could take off soon you never know! (lol right)
 
NewBirth said:
okay. so it wasnt just me who thought that was a little rude Lmao

I didn't really care, I was just messing around with him. lol
 
What you said matches exactly to how I feel! Every chance I get I daydream. I really, really wish the dreams could come true, and when I "wake up" reality hits me very, very hard. Fantasy has always been so much better than real life, so much so that I wish I could live in fantasy or be born in a different time period. That's what got me interested in anime, because they take fantasy and make it real. The fact that it's drawn makes it easier to produce fantastical things (and it helps that the guys in it are really hott!). The stories are always very engrossing and interesting. Gotta love it.
 

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