I've been thinking....(And I will need some of your input)

Hey all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for quite a bit. This might be a bit long but I'll try to keep it legible.

I'm a 21 year old guy, currently unemployed and not going to school, never had a girlfriend, etc etc. The typical loser situation. I haven't gone out in a while to hang with friends. I've suffered from anxiety since I was a kid and never really had it under control.

I've finished 3 years of community college and got an AS in graphic arts and am trying to go back to school to a university during the summer. However it's a little difficult trying to get this all setup for me so I can finally register for classes.

I want to change my major to multimedia studies which would involve less design for print and web and more for tv and special effects. Lately though I haven't been concentrating on that since I love painting and drawing and it's something I've been doing since I was 12 and I think I've gotten pretty good at it (I can post my deviantart if anyone asks). What I noticed in the classes I've taken is that the successful people are the ones who have been doing what they're studying since before attending college. Design is not something I started doing before college.

But let's say this all doesn't work out. Let's say I fail in my degree and end up debt (after all it's one of those degrees that depends on your portfolio and not whether you have a bachelor's.) Would it be better to just find some full time job that requires only a high school diploma?

Would it be best to find some job where I don't have to talk to coworkers and tell them about the things like never having a girlfriend or being a turtle? Something where I don't have to work long hours but enough to sustain myself with a place to live for me only, food, electricity and an internet connection and a cheap car.

That way I can just put the time I have for myself into my hobbies like painting, playing guitar, running, watching soccer. Everything I enjoy doing are things a person usually does by themselves. And the hobbies I want to get into are also things one can do by themselves (learning to mix/record music, photography.)

Is there anyone here who lives like this? Working and only putting your free time into your hobbies other than trying to establish relationships with people? And if so, how do you deal with the urges to socialize?

you'll make more overall if you get a degree. You'd have a better standard of living. I think you'd have to pull long hours in order to just meet your needs. =l

SophiaGrace said:

you'll make more overall if you get a degree. You'd have a better standard of living. I think you'd have to pull long hours in order to just meet your needs. =l

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You're right. I still have lot of time to make something meaninful. Though I just wanted to know if anyone truly lives like that on their own.

fuzzybutt said:

SophiaGrace said:

you'll make more overall if you get a degree. You'd have a better standard of living. I think you'd have to pull long hours in order to just meet your needs. =l

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You're right. I still have lot of time to make something meaninful. Though I just wanted to know if anyone truly lives like that on their own.

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In all honesty when I read
"Would it be best to find some job where I don't have to talk to coworkers and tell them about the things like never having a girlfriend or being a turtle? Something where I don't have to work long hours but enough to sustain myself with a place to live for me only, food, electricity and an internet connection and a cheap car."

I was like "Wow someone else has had the same thoughts as me!" I think like that when I hate college. Which is like 80% of the time.

You aren't alone in pondering this!

I kind of did for a while, but it was in the context of having larger overall goals. I worked in forestry, and lived in my parents basement, and then later an apartment of my own.

The problem with working a 'good enough' job is that it's only 'good enough' for now. Eventually we're going to be in our 50s or 60s, wanting to take long trips/vacations or do something else, and those of us that haven't pursued anything beyond thinning out trees or working at Wal Mart are going to be mighty burned out on life. Look at the people who are in their 50s and work at Wal Mart. They're either grouchy and bitter, or they're not exactly shining examples of intellect.

Have you investigated other careers? There's a lot of jobs that aren't in an office or even ones that don't require more than a couple of years of school. I could technically stay where I'm at right now and retire in 20 years on a state pension (and also get social security, if it's still around, though it probably won't be), and I only went to 4 months of school for my EMT-B. The agency paid to upgrade me to EMT-A, and another few years I'll be a Paramedic. My goals are a little more elaborate than that...I do want a management degree eventually. But still, it could stand on it's own in the middle ground.

Thanks Brian. You really made me think about this. Again I don't really intend on just ending my education, this was just one alternative of many.

I was thinking exactly what Brian said above. You have to think about if there will be enough menial jobs for you to work to sustain your lifestyle for the next 50 years. You are 21. You will be working until you are 70. I'm not saying that it can't be done, but it would be a very difficult life to sustain for 50 years. You are always going to be on the bottom end of society, working menial jobs, with all the competition for those jobs (which is everyone because those jobs don't require special skills). It's hard to sustain that for 50 years. Right now, sure you could work a job like that for 10 years but do you want to do it when you are 40, 50, 60 years old? Probably not. You probably want a career to get into to sustain you over the long-term. This assumes that you are thinking about the long-term. If you don't see yourself living to age 50 or 60, then you have different considerations.

i think we all need to find a trade that is useful now and in the eventual post-oil era. don't bother with socializing. once you find your purpose in life, you'll build real relationships.

Hmm, this is kind of out there but I've had thoughts of becoming a truck driver. The only sucky part is the long hours and paying for showers. Oh and having to work really hard at finding time to exercise. Anyways, my plan was to do that for a few years and save everything up, then buy a house in a cheaper country. There are lots of them but my choice was the Philippines. You could easily live for about 2-3 years for every year you work. When the money runs dry you just go back and work some more.

I kind of had to abandon that plan once I realized that it works great as long as I'm on my own. Add in a future wife and kids and it becomes pretty silly. If you are committed to the hermit life though its not a bad plan. I still have some hope left in me. (Yeah I know. Hope is a lying *****.)

Another job for loners would be working at a call center. Our call centers here have a program where, once hired, they train you for 3 months and you work for them for a year. After that year, you can start taking calls from home instead of going into a cubicle. They pay is pretty good for a job you can get with no skills and no degree.

SophiaGrace said:

you'll make more overall if you get a degree. You'd have a better standard of living. I think you'd have to pull long hours in order to just meet your needs. =l

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That's not always true. It may be easier, maybe. Degree doesn't equal better life.

Oh and Fuzzy, you're not a loser. You're just starting out your life.

fuzzybutt said:

...........
Is there anyone here who lives like this? Working and only putting your free time into your hobbies other than trying to establish relationships with people? And if so, how do you deal with the urges to socialize?

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I think you should ask yourself this question - DO YOU want to live like that? If you realy liked your life the way it is, then why do you have the "urge to socialize"? And if you don't like it this way, then change it.