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SophiaGrace

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If so, why do you think this is?

If not, why do you think this is?

I feel I fit in here. I identify with the people here a lot.

 
I feel I fit in here, by nature.
But I won't deny that this place does get a tad bit whiney.
i know by nature we're suppose to be emo non-conformist
I seriously think this place is a breeding ground for people with mild depressive disorders.
However, the beautiful thing about this place is the unity among everyone.
You hear everyones story and you feel somewhat closer to them, and you want to help them...
We're all lonely...
yet we're not alone...
 
HermesReborn said:
I seriously think this place is a breeding ground for people with mild depressive disorders.

The fact that you can see this and I can't says a lot about me I think. You're on the outside looking in. I'm on the inside unable to look out and see the other side because I am part of the inside.



 
SophiaGrace said:
HermesReborn said:
I seriously think this place is a breeding ground for people with mild depressive disorders.

The fact that you can see this and I can't says a lot about me I think. You're on the outside looking in. I'm on the inside unable to look out and see the other side because I am part of the inside.

Also says a lot about myself.
For me this place is like peering into the window of a lost atlantis.
I remember feeling what alot of the people here feel.
And sometimes I feel that way. But I'm proud to say that I'm no longer that way, least not entirely.

So I guess I use to be on the inside, and I've made it out.
There's nothing wrong with feeling lonely.
Loneliness is probably the most honest and beautiful feeling the body can generate.
We're social creatures.
Though society in one way or another is fractured.
That doesn't mean that wanting to be with people is.
It's hard.

I myself have a mild dysthymic condition. So it's imperative for me to do things that make me feel good all the time.
And it works sometimes.
Coming here and talking to like minded people here makes me feel good.

Cause though I'm not like them anymore. I know I once was.
I know there's a way out.
Once you stop looking down and upon the road ahead,
You'll see that even within the darkest oblivion you'll see lights guiding your way home.
But what you have to recognize is you and only you alone, can make that cold blooded stumble to contentment.
And it's all a mirror.
I know for me, I'm constantly tripping my way back to myself.
 
I'm not sure yet.

I've been lurking this site for a long time now and while I don't identify with most of the threads people start, there are a select few members who have an affect on me with every thread they make. Other times I just find random threads that interest me.

As for the community and chat...I'm not sure if I really fit in. It seems like the more time I spend in there the more annoyed I get at how some people here think and act. It's not really anyone's fault. I know I was thinking the same things and acting similar when I was a few years younger. I'm only 22 but sometimes I think I'm too old to fit in. Actually it might be something else. I would have already started a thread about my thoughts but I always stop myself for some reason.

I try to talk to new members through PM and most of the time I either get ignored, or the person replies once or twice and they never sign in again. A few people have been fun to talk to though. I've written a lot of threads out on paper but have never actually created any of them. I don't really expect advice or anything from them but it would still feel good to vent. I'm not sure what it is that holds me back. Maybe its a sign that I really don't fit in.

Maybe I just need more time to get to know people. I've been lurking for years so I'm not sure if that's right either. There has to be something that keeps me coming back here.

[Edit- Actually, there were some things said today that downright disturbed me enough to make me leave chat. They were some thoughtless and potentially very hurtful comments and I'm glad they didn't fall on sensitive ears. (or is it eyes?)]
 
I'm undecided. I want to find a place to fit in but I don't know if this is it. It's probably just one of my periodic attempts at reaching out to the world only to crawl back into my metaphorical cave when I realise how stupidly futile that was.

Having said that there are a number of posts that I can relate to (I won't go into details). Not sure how much help I can be to others when I haven't exactly gotten my life going right myself. I try to offer an ear where I can - I think it can help to talk to someone (and at least you know I can't tell friends and family anything because, I don't know them) but, again, not sure how well that's going to work out. Hard to tell that kind of thing to a complete stranger and, at the end of the day, that's exactly what I am.

So...we'll see. Time will tell, I guess.
 
I used to feel very at home here, but something changed at some point. *shrug* It's still a nice stop during my day.
 
I feel @ home here.
My life had changed since I first got on here. Lots N lots of different phases.
Im grateful for what I have but it hasnt always been easy N for the most part. I dont know whats in the future. So I bascially just write what going on
with me. Things I really need to let out sometimes. This I cant even share in recovery meetings or support groups.
Just a months ago I was struggling with my exgf (Francis). Half of the time I still felt lost N alone.

I recently moved to be with my gf or soon to be wife.(shes my hsgf/ex fiance) We were suppose to get married from the very beginning.
I dont really know anybody were we currently live other then her and our immiate family. While she had filled a huge part of my life. I still need to
go out N meet more people face to face. I'm in a very heavy white populated area. I'm a minority..minority. I stick out like a fucken door knob.
I havnt met or seen anyone of my own race yet.lol I know not everyone is going to hate me or accept me. It takes time to meet people N filter
out people. While my self confidence N self esteem had improve greatly...We recently visited one of our extented family members...
I got the usual treatment. In the past people like that ued to intiminate me. Now I just think theyre fucken dorks.lol
This one dude thought I was part of the asain mobster (lmao) becuz of the way I dressed N badboy image/attitude. Some people are totally off the fucken wall.
But I also met a very nice lady..thats will traveled...She been around the world N not so ignorant or closed minded.

Im way..way out of my confortzone @ the moment. So I still need a place i can go to sort things out ..so this forum is like that for me.
 
I honestly don't think I quite fit in either. The forum is filled with whiny young ninnies who like to complain about problems that could be easily solved if they just DECIDED to fix their lives, or people who are lonely and miserable, but wont put down the shovel. (Heh, both literal and figurative? XD)

I would want to see more meaningful posts on the forum, but because I'm not really contributing, what can I expect. I'd love to contribute, but I can't seem to find a way to do so without insulting SOMEONE. So, therefore, my own thread could be very harmful to the population of this website. :/
Chat is all fine and good when playful people are about, but otherwise it's just a bunch of "I like this and that and blah blah blah" elementary bullshit. It could at least be some good 'ole ridiculousness (because everyone needs to let go every once in a while.) but not many people seem to be comfortable coming out of thier boxes. And, that sums up my entire point on how I don't fit in here, because everyone has dug their hole or found their box, and now they're complaining that they want to get out of it. I mean, really? It's just a box or a room with a door, stop being afraid and stand up and walk the fresia out.

I follow my own advice, I go out there and try to meet people and not be alone. But I still don't fit in. I'm just too different, and I like that, but it doesn't seem to work here or there, or who knows where... I'm still finding my way.
 
SkuzzieMuff said:
I honestly don't think I quite fit in either. The forum is filled with whiny young ninnies who like to complain about problems that could be easily solved if they just DECIDED to fix their lives, or people who are lonely and miserable, but wont put down the shovel. (Heh, both literal and figurative? XD)

I would want to see more meaningful posts on the forum, but because I'm not really contributing, what can I expect. I'd love to contribute, but I can't seem to find a way to do so without insulting SOMEONE. So, therefore, my own thread could be very harmful to the population of this website. :/
Chat is all fine and good when playful people are about, but otherwise it's just a bunch of "I like this and that and blah blah blah" elementary bullshit. It could at least be some good 'ole ridiculousness (because everyone needs to let go every once in a while.) but not many people seem to be comfortable coming out of thier boxes. And, that sums up my entire point on how I don't fit in here, because everyone has dug their hole or found their box, and now they're complaining that they want to get out of it. I mean, really? It's just a box or a room with a door, stop being afraid and stand up and walk the fresia out.

I follow my own advice, I go out there and try to meet people and not be alone. But I still don't fit in. I'm just too different, and I like that, but it doesn't seem to work here or there, or who knows where... I'm still finding my way.

What do you mean by "put down the shovel"? I tried googling it and didn't get anything.

I think my issue stems from not knowing what I want, and then how to get it and where to get it.

I'm lost. :p


However, if you view some other threads of mine, you will see that I am working on my loneliness. It actually takes a lot of effort for me to keep in contact with people and make friends. Emotional effort. Probably because I'm not used to it. My first inclination is to wander away and be by myself & isolate. messed up huh.

Yesterday I went and saw one of my classmates, in her senior music recital. Then I gave her flowers and ran away because I didn't have notepad to write on. It's a start right? I hope she liked the flowers. :) She said she was happy to see me there.

Ideally what I'd like is someone that would text me and ask me to go and study with them. A few people like that would make my day. Oh and a boyfriend who didn't drive me too nuts would possibly be nice too.

Maybe I'm not so lost as I think I am. However, I realize that part of me getting better would have to do with leaving this site for good. As long as I am around here, I will identify with the people who are at home, living with their parents, having issues with making friends, ect. Environment shapes who you are and I'm aware of that. I just don't know where I'd go that would replace ALL for me.

=/ I have a lot of honeysuckle to work on. Was that post meaningful enough for you? :)




HermesReborn said:
SophiaGrace said:
HermesReborn said:
I seriously think this place is a breeding ground for people with mild depressive disorders.

The fact that you can see this and I can't says a lot about me I think. You're on the outside looking in. I'm on the inside unable to look out and see the other side because I am part of the inside.



I myself have a mild dysthymic condition. So it's imperative for me to do things that make me feel good all the time.
And it works sometimes.
Coming here and talking to like minded people here makes me feel good.

Cause though I'm not like them anymore. I know I once was.
I know there's a way out.
Once you stop looking down and upon the road ahead,
You'll see that even within the darkest oblivion you'll see lights guiding your way home.
But what you have to recognize is you and only you alone, can make that cold blooded stumble to contentment.
And it's all a mirror.
I know for me, I'm constantly tripping my way back to myself.

That's an inspiring post Hermes. :)

Thank you.
 
No. Most people use this place for cathartic purposes. I am trying to problem solve. A lot of people here seem to feel that they should settle down and get used to it. I think of this as a transitional phase in my life.
 
I am very lonely and have been my entire life. One of my earliest memories was of preschool ... I had zero friends in preschool. I used to walk around and beg people every day to let me play with them and they would say no and sometimes throw sand in my face. That's a lot of why I know how sand tastes and what it feels like when it gets stuck in your eye.

And I've just always been that way. Right now, I live in the same house as my only girl friend that I have in person and still, I have to BEG her to spend time with me and she usually doesn't. She's too busy with her boyfriend who also lives with us. So even though I text her with suggestions or asking her to do something with me, she usually doesn't respond, which sucks. (I don't knock on the door because pretty much every time I do they are in the middle of having sex. I have bad timing.)

I am a writer. I decided to read what was the hardest part of writing as a profession. I thought the published authors (I read quotes from many) would say things like . . . . choosing names or organizing in the beginning or coming up with a plot or something. Instead, pretty much straight across the board, I've read that it is the loneliness! Ever since I started writing every day, I've noticed no change in the amount of time I get to spend with people. I've just ALWAYS been this alone.

So in that sense, yes, I fit into this forum. I am very lonely.

BUT I don't really mind the whining that much. So that's where I disagree with people in this thread. It's more of the bitterness and hatred that gets to me, I think. =S Because people occasionally make very angry threads on here like that.

Do I fit in though?

I don't feel like I do. Honestly, I expect any day now to be banned from this forum or to log on and find out everyone hates me. Because I've spent the majority of life alone, I've turned to the internet a lot for social interaction and unfortunately, when I get invested and needy in any forum, I often get kicked out of it. I actually ran a forum for awhile with over 500 members and I got kicked out of that one as well. XD Even though it was MY forum. I had to delete it and it's run now somewhere else by a member that everyone liked better than me.

There always just comes a point when everyone hates me and wants to get rid of me on any forum, which is why I don't really post a lot of my problems on here. I'll only post if I'm feeling like it's between that and hurting myself in some fashion. Because I'm scared if I need people online, then they'll either all start flaming me or get mad and kick me off the forum. It happens to me a whole lot.

But even if I can't talk about my own problems and mostly just read and comment on other people, it's way, way better to me than nothing. It helps me get through life.
 
Enchanted Girl. I can relate a lot to what you've said about always having felt lonely.

I like your presence and as far as I know, no one has expressed any sentiment whatsoever that they didn't like you. In fact, I'd be inclined to think most people here do like you. :)

(((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
SophiaGrace said:
If so, why do you think this is?

If not, why do you think this is?

I feel I fit in here. I identify with the people here a lot.

On some level I do fit in here. But I have a reputation for being a steely cynic, and Badjedidude is my most prolific critic, that's after Steel left. But there are others here who agrees with me, although probably slight more not.

A lot of people on here seem to be very head in the clouds hopeful, it's somewhat naive and maybe cute to some, but it's not really helpful.
 
No I've never really got on that well on any support forums like this. I think its because just as in real life the jokey,happy confident members are always more popular and even on an online forum our personality flaws and faults put people off especially when we are sad or unhappy. So you come onto these type of forums to get help or comfort and feel just as isolated and lonely as in real life. Then of course there are always a few posters who are confrontational and sometimes just outright abusive who are often I find just seeking attention and trying to get a response because they are so miserable themselves but dare not admit it.
 
I figured I would fit into a forum for lonely people, but I find that I don't really fit in for 2 reasons.

1) this is the first time I've ever joined a forum that isn't Christian, so that's... new. I find that I can't respond to a good many threads because my instinct is to respond with some sort of religious advice, which really would not work at a site that isn't Christian-oriented.

2) I'm not depressed, and it seems to be that a good majority of the people on here are some sort of depressed (or at least extremely melancholy), and they fill up the forum with thread posts about their depression/melancholy. I really don't have much to say to that sort of thing. While I did go through a stint of melancholy last year, that's gone now, so I don't really fit in.
 
SophiaGrace said:
What do you mean by "put down the shovel"? I tried googling it and didn't get anything.


=/ I have a lot of honeysuckle to work on. Was that post meaningful enough for you?

When I say "put down the shovel" I'm saying "stop digging yourself into a hole." I had a teacher that would yell that at students when they were arguing with him. "PUT the SHOVEL... DOWN!!!!!" It was great. ^-^

Soph, what I said in my post didn't apply to you, but it's good to hear that you are trying to do something to end your loneliness, and that was exactly my point. I'm tired of reading about people who whine but don't try to change anything. They just make excuses or ignore answers because they don't really want help, only attention.
 
I honestly don't know yet. 'Cause people just normally reply to threads and that's it. I've been here for a while and I still don't have 'friends' cause everyone's too busy being lonely, I made an effort to be friend those who are willing to talk but yeah guess it didnt work. Although it's safe to say that we all have a common ground, we can relate to each other in one way or another, which is a good thing I guess.
 
SkuzzieMuff said:
SophiaGrace said:
What do you mean by "put down the shovel"? I tried googling it and didn't get anything.


=/ I have a lot of honeysuckle to work on. Was that post meaningful enough for you?

When I say "put down the shovel" I'm saying "stop digging yourself into a hole." I had a teacher that would yell that at students when they were arguing with him. "PUT the SHOVEL... DOWN!!!!!" It was great. ^-^

Soph, what I said in my post didn't apply to you, but it's good to hear that you are trying to do something to end your loneliness, and that was exactly my point. I'm tired of reading about people who whine but don't try to change anything. They just make excuses or ignore answers because they don't really want help, only attention.

Yeah you get nowhere insulting the people in this forum...
It's obvious that they want attention.
ANd it's most likely because they're not getting any.
Nobody is listening, so they come here looking for like minded people.
You can't write people off like that, and tell them to walk it off.
Doing that is why we get thousands of suicides a year.
We all need attention and touch.
ALL of us...
even you gnome king.


Again dude...
Not cool...


 
Hard to say. I don't frequent most of the subforums of the actual problems lonely people suffer, but I know that I am a lonely little sod, but I keep my blues to myself...generally take most of the discussions into PM's, 'tho. The talks have helped to ease the pain of loneliness somewhat, and I'm glad for that. Still, as for the actual community, I still feel estranged from it. I have not learned all the regulars by their nicknames, or partaken in much of the actual peer support the forums are supposed to provide, but I know myself well enough to see that I'm still carefully testing the ice.

But I'm hoping that I find what I came for in here, instead of just packing up my things and go after lurking for six or so years like I did on the last forums I inhabited. Thus far, I can't seem to enjoy the chat, and the discussions on the forum have thus far proved less ample than I had hoped...so, I can't say anything for sure just yet.

Do like some of the folks I've met here and talk to on a regular basis, and they are generally the main reason I keep coming back here. :p
 

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