friendship are real or fake?

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urbanloner69

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friends come and go and i forget about them i know the social networks such as facebook or myspace don't work to find friendships i get the feeling friendships don't Exist at all or do they? only time will tell.
 
"If just for this moment, as long as you're mine, hold me how you want to, and see how bright we shine. Borrow the moonligtht until it is through..."

Heh, what i'm trying to say is, appreciate life, even if it is transient, for, life itself is transient (Buddhists would agree) . Hold onto a few friends that mean a lot to you and then it won't matter as much if people come and go from your life. *hug*
 
urbanloner69 said:
thanks :) but i have no friends in the real world there is nonstop sadness in my life i still don't think friendship or love exist :(:(:(:(

Why are you sad?

I think friendship & love do exist...
 
urbanloner69 said:
its been a long time since i made friend or someone to talk in the real world. its impossible to make friends in the real world.:(:(:(:(:(:(

Its not impossible, unless you think it is, Im dealing with the same thing you are, not Having any offline friends, are you going to a college? That would probably help a lot, either way though, the only way to change anything is to try, what is there to lose?

 
Friendships are real.
Perhaps what's confusing you is that there are many superficial relationships out there. And that's cool, it works out and fills a void. They're just not very highlighted in culture and such can be confused for deep relationships.
 
Urban, you seem like a very down-in-the-dumps person. You can be however you wish, I'm not criticizing that... But, people usually don't want to be around someone so in their own sorrow. And it has nothing to do with you personally, so don't take it that way. But more so over the fact that it's surrounding them in negative or sad attitudes. It's going to be kind of tough finding someone who will put up with it. I see you're a nice person though, and that should shine through more than the sorrow. Once you stop wallowing, people will want to remain friends with you.
 
I also thinking that counting friends won't do any good. True friendships just happen. They aren't planned, or scheduled. You'd be surprised at who you'll meet in life, and would never expect to be friends with them. I'm very close to someone who I originally discarded as someone I wouldn't get along with. And he's one of my best friends now. It's strange how things work out.
 
Friendship is real, but most of us have forgotten what it is really about. Depending on your school of thought, you could say that this is by design that modern people are so far separated from friendship and familial ties, because we are easy to control when divided. But that's another discussion.

A friend is someone dependable, where your interaction and time together produces a benefit greater than the sum of it's parts. I have noticed that I find friendship at work far more easily than outside of it, and our friendships there are stronger than elsewhere. I finally figured out why: I work in emergency services, and as such we grow close as partners and colleagues, for without each other we are guaranteed to fail immediately.

The same principle fell in to place at my last job in forestry. We relied on each other, and so we developed as friends. We saw the benefits by accident, and instinctively built upon them.

In older times, and still in some parts of the world, families would live in extended communities, with multiple generations in the same house or on the same city block. Communities played off of each other for strength. They were all stronger because of it, and difficult to topple in their bonds.

Now we are told that the best thing is to be an individual, to have all of our own things. And to a degree, yes, we must be individuals, and strong on our own...but it has been taken beyond being individuals, and we are now ushered toward a time of division and defeat, choking on apathy. We tell ourselves that this is 'just how the world is', and so we sleep at night and accept it.

 
There are people who seek real friendships. I haven't met many but they are out there.

I have grown into more of an introspective guy as I age so I have a lot less friends than in the past but I don't miss them because they ultimately weren't the friendships I seek now - the ones where you can even be sad or vulnerable and the other person cares enough to want to be there in the bad times as well as good. i only ask for what I am prepared to and do give.

There is also something to what vanillacreme said. Unfortunately, most of the world are "extrovert" types who feed off other people's energy. Even a vampire doesn't want to suck on bad blood.

I am new here, so I am only going by vanilla's assessment that you seemed like a "down in the dumps" type, I assume gleaned from more than just this thread. I know it isn't a choice to feel bad sometimes and I took slight exception to vanilla saying "you can be however you want" only because it stung a reminder of people saying all I had to do was smile and my problems would be gone. I know vanilla didn't mean it that way and meant well but it did rub a sore spot for someone who has undergone serious depression. I am not suggesting it is your choice but maybe that might be your problem too, urban, when people get depressed they often unconsciously push others away with body language and speech.

It sounds corny, but doing stuff you like in a group of some kind will allow you to break the ice with people who are learning or enjoying the same activity you are. Makes saying stuff to the less awkward and once the awkward is gone it is just a matter of whether you click with them or not.

Ah, but what do I know? Take it if it helps you.
 

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