Ahelpinghand
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- Joined
- Apr 11, 2011
- Messages
- 19
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As the title suggests i have turned my life around and cannot believe what i used to be like. I used to suffer from severe depression. After multiple events my life took a severe downward spiral, combined with my being seventeen stone i was miserable. I think i spent around a year and a half to two years in the house, mostly in my room and excluded myself from everything. I would wake in the morning with no energy, often just pulling my covers back over my head and lying there. Looking back now i see that my depression stole almost two years of my life from me. It is roughly a year ago now, perhaps a little more, that i decided to start over.
Quite literally one morning, instead of cursing myself for waking, i got up and out of bed and went for a walk. A few months before my family had been made aware about my depression by my cousin. My mum was quite shocked to see me up and about. So i went for my walk, wrapped up in clothing to hide my body, my posture was horrendous, shoulders right forwards, back hunched. Trying to make myself invisible. I got back from my walk and headed for my room, i stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back around. I asked my mum if she wanted any help, her second shock of that day.
Anyway i ended up helping my mum in the garden and then went for another walk. I don't think it was until about a week of doing this that i realised i might actually be enjoying myself, i had shut down all emotion previously. It was my turn to be shocked. I kept this up, dieting at the same time as walking. It took me just over two months to lose six stone. Perhaps not a healthy weight loss but i didn't care, for the first time for as long as i could remember i was happy. I was venturing out into this big bad world i had somehow become so frightened of, i was meeting new people and speaking openly to them about how i used to be. It felt incredible to tell people that i USED to be depressed.
Of course it is not as simple as that, i still have my up days and down days but have since faced a death of a close family member and refused to let myself spiral again. It is an odd thing depression but i want you to know that if i, a boy from a little village in the middle of nowhere, can defeat it then so can you. You just have to believe in yourself and get up and do it. It may not be something that leaves you completely but it is certainly something that can be kept under control. After all, you are the master of your body, take control.
Quite literally one morning, instead of cursing myself for waking, i got up and out of bed and went for a walk. A few months before my family had been made aware about my depression by my cousin. My mum was quite shocked to see me up and about. So i went for my walk, wrapped up in clothing to hide my body, my posture was horrendous, shoulders right forwards, back hunched. Trying to make myself invisible. I got back from my walk and headed for my room, i stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back around. I asked my mum if she wanted any help, her second shock of that day.
Anyway i ended up helping my mum in the garden and then went for another walk. I don't think it was until about a week of doing this that i realised i might actually be enjoying myself, i had shut down all emotion previously. It was my turn to be shocked. I kept this up, dieting at the same time as walking. It took me just over two months to lose six stone. Perhaps not a healthy weight loss but i didn't care, for the first time for as long as i could remember i was happy. I was venturing out into this big bad world i had somehow become so frightened of, i was meeting new people and speaking openly to them about how i used to be. It felt incredible to tell people that i USED to be depressed.
Of course it is not as simple as that, i still have my up days and down days but have since faced a death of a close family member and refused to let myself spiral again. It is an odd thing depression but i want you to know that if i, a boy from a little village in the middle of nowhere, can defeat it then so can you. You just have to believe in yourself and get up and do it. It may not be something that leaves you completely but it is certainly something that can be kept under control. After all, you are the master of your body, take control.