upanddownlikeayoyo
Well-known member
I've no idea where to start and i'm so shy I hate starting new threads anywhere :rolleyes2:
I found this place via google........i'm mid 30's, male and live in the UK.
Just a quick pen picture as to why i'm here...
Loneliness is something i've had most of my life. Having sufferered alot of different forms of abuse as a child, with no-one either believing me or the ones that did believing it should have any effect on me. this has made me feel very alone in the world.
I lost my partner and daughter many years ago to seperate passings. We were childhood sweethearts and to lose her so young destroyed me and honestly it killed me too in all but body, then a few months later my daughter was gone as well, just to finish me off.
I've had two partners since, but both have used me and in all honesty, it
wasn't what I was looking for. I was just too nice to end it and they ending up pooping on me.
I gave up on human beings a long time ago. I had 5 cats and lost 3 to old age and the other 2 can't have long left either. Any form of life I have is slowly getting less and less.
I've always had a problem with people understanding me. I apparently come across as someone who has no problems and people see no reason why I should lack confidence.
I see myself as short, bald, slightly overweight and a no hoper. I'm always tired and hate life. I've got addicted over the years to a famous person and collect all of her things and prowl the TV for anything on her all day and record it all onto VHS and DVD (flatmate searches for me overnight) and I now can't leave the TV incase I miss something (although I have it all millions of times and can copy it millions of times myself). That in itself is ruining my life. I'd feel less than a fan if I didn't spend so much time on it and I go mad if I miss as much as a few seconds. I find it easier than meeting real people because I am very shy and quiet. I avoid fan sites and anything on the internet. I got too involved and with my fragile heart, it was upsetting me too much with all the negativity.
You'll notice (if you've got this far) that I have a flatmate. We used to get on well, but these days it's very strained. She has her own issues which she talks about 24/7 and I barely get a word in, which doesn't help my shyness. It just pushes me down even more. We barely see each other as she's up at night and i'm up in the day.
I don't work due to 'severe trauma' and don't socialise. I have made attempts to join a gym which I am determined to do, although it scares the hell out of me. I am very self aware and worried people won't like me and I worry I come across badly as I don't say much and when I do i'm so nervous that it comes out all wrong :rolleyes2:
Anyway, i've rambled on too much. No idea where i'll post here as I feel strange doing so. Apologies for the long hello. I'm off for a look around
I found this place via google........i'm mid 30's, male and live in the UK.
Just a quick pen picture as to why i'm here...
Loneliness is something i've had most of my life. Having sufferered alot of different forms of abuse as a child, with no-one either believing me or the ones that did believing it should have any effect on me. this has made me feel very alone in the world.
I lost my partner and daughter many years ago to seperate passings. We were childhood sweethearts and to lose her so young destroyed me and honestly it killed me too in all but body, then a few months later my daughter was gone as well, just to finish me off.
I've had two partners since, but both have used me and in all honesty, it
wasn't what I was looking for. I was just too nice to end it and they ending up pooping on me.
I gave up on human beings a long time ago. I had 5 cats and lost 3 to old age and the other 2 can't have long left either. Any form of life I have is slowly getting less and less.
I've always had a problem with people understanding me. I apparently come across as someone who has no problems and people see no reason why I should lack confidence.
I see myself as short, bald, slightly overweight and a no hoper. I'm always tired and hate life. I've got addicted over the years to a famous person and collect all of her things and prowl the TV for anything on her all day and record it all onto VHS and DVD (flatmate searches for me overnight) and I now can't leave the TV incase I miss something (although I have it all millions of times and can copy it millions of times myself). That in itself is ruining my life. I'd feel less than a fan if I didn't spend so much time on it and I go mad if I miss as much as a few seconds. I find it easier than meeting real people because I am very shy and quiet. I avoid fan sites and anything on the internet. I got too involved and with my fragile heart, it was upsetting me too much with all the negativity.
You'll notice (if you've got this far) that I have a flatmate. We used to get on well, but these days it's very strained. She has her own issues which she talks about 24/7 and I barely get a word in, which doesn't help my shyness. It just pushes me down even more. We barely see each other as she's up at night and i'm up in the day.
I don't work due to 'severe trauma' and don't socialise. I have made attempts to join a gym which I am determined to do, although it scares the hell out of me. I am very self aware and worried people won't like me and I worry I come across badly as I don't say much and when I do i'm so nervous that it comes out all wrong :rolleyes2:
Anyway, i've rambled on too much. No idea where i'll post here as I feel strange doing so. Apologies for the long hello. I'm off for a look around
