No Interests

Hello,

I'm a 22 year old male and I have no friends. I haven't had a friend in 4 years. All people keep suggesting is to find other people with similar interests.

What if you have no interests? What if you don't like any of the normal activities that other people like?

I don't like small talk.
I don't like reading books.
I don't like to drink.
I don't like bars.
I don't like "Dancing With The Stars."
I don't like "High School Musical."
I don't like watching TV.
I don't like the Spiderman series.
I don't like movies.
I don't like to travel.

I don't like anything normal people like.

What is a person to do in a situation like this?

Hi Porcupine! Welcome!

Rather than suggest something to you, let me ask what you do with your day? Naturally, we can't fill in the hours with what you listed above.....I shudder at the thought of a Dancing with the Stars marathon or something........ugh. How do you spend the hours?

lol that's interesting...well find friends with different interest from you.. There are people out there who dont need their friends to be just like them. What do you like btw?

then just find peeps who like 2 do what u do. whatever that is. since u really dont say. the worlds kinda huge. so theres always at least a small handful of ppl who like the same things u do

I work as an information architect for an international technology company. Sometimes I go to the regional office for meetings, but most of the work I do can be done from home. The office is usually empty anyway.

When I'm not working, I'm playing PC games or chat with people online. That's about it.

I do have some friends from other states who I've met through the Internet, but apparently I need real human interaction to be happy. It is a concept that is still strange to me. Recently I realized that there's a subconscious part of my brain that requires social interaction. If it doesn't get it, negative stuff happens. So **** inefficient.

I've spent my whole life developing my skills without focusing on any kind of social life. The emphasis has always been on "getting a nice secure job that pays lots and lots of $$$." Talk about backwards priorities. I wish I could go back to middle school and do it all over again with what I know now. At least then there were opportunities for social interaction.

That is the reality of the situation, and I've accepted it as a real problem. My only fear is that I'm so far gone, that the probability of developing any kind of real-life friendship, or even relationship, is virtually impossible.

I'm not one of those Uber-Nerds you find at the comic book store. At least they have a hobby and their own social group. I envy them. I wear average cloths and act like an average happy guy. I wish people knew the way I feel.

I'm a problem solver by trade, and as such I'm used to solving my own problems. This is probably the first time in a long while I've actually asked anyone for serious help.

I know there is no simple answer to this problem. I've already read through the Internet and forums just like this one. The people here seem intelligent and thoughtful, so I'm not expecting a regurgitation of the same self-help formula.

I can't tell you how disconcerting it is to ask Google for serious help with loneliness, only to find Christian and Islamic ideologies packaged as legitimate solutions.

Hmm, here are some thinking exercises..

If all of a sudden you were told that you may never use a computer (besides work) or television for the next ten years, what would you do? Would you sit on a couch and stare at the wall? From first hand experience I can tell you it gets pretty boring, pretty fast.

Say you were told that you have cancer and you are going to die in six months. What are all the things that you've always wanted to do before you die? Did you ever want to travel and see the world? Have you ever wanted to sky dive?

Think back to when you were a young child, you must have had hopes and dreams. We can't all be astronauts so which of those can you actually accomplish?

Interesting questions.

If I had hopes and dreams as a child, I no longer remember them now.

Unfortunately I do not have any life goals before I die. I don't like to travel, never wanted to sky dive, or anything. Because of this, I would probably end up killing myself before the cancer could.

If I weren't able to use a computer for recreational purposes and didn't have mind-numbing television to drool at, I would probably end up having to leave the house. Where would I actually go? I'll have to think about that some more...

lol from experience...I'm addicted to the internet..when I had to live without it after a week I felt like I was going crazy. Sometimes the things we are addicted to keep us sane. Why can't your internet relationship become real life ones?

I purposely didn't buy a TV when I moved and when I didn't have internet for a while I found myself never actually being home. I kind of roamed around without the help of Google maps and just went to random places that I found along the way. I actually met some very wonderful people this way by shear chance. It was amazing.

it's true if you dont have something like the bet to keep you at home, we would tend to go out more..that's great that you got to meet some wonderful people

Porcupine said:

I can't tell you how disconcerting it is to ask Google for serious help with loneliness, only to find Christian and Islamic ideologies packaged as legitimate solutions.

Click to expand...

errr you can mate, you can. Its stupid when you think about it. There is a lot of lonely ppl out there and it is the weirs pain to live with I think.

Bad if your 80 something and widowed but I think even weirs if your still young like us. Hay I think 32 is young anyway

And ye most of the supposedly help out there is religious groups. Now I have nothing against religion. But seriously I don't think there's a god that would let all this honeysuckle happen. Just my view of course

Porcupine said:

I don't like the Spiderman series.

Click to expand...

lol

I do have the same problem that I don't think am into anything thing that's going to get me any friends. So I know exactly where your coming from there. All tho I do like TV and watching films and music but none of them things well get you any friends.

Porcupine said:

Hello,

I'm a 22 year old male and I have no friends. I haven't had a friend in 4 years. All people keep suggesting is to find other people with similar interests.

What if you have no interests? What if you don't like any of the normal activities that other people like?

I don't like small talk.
I don't like reading books.
I don't like to drink.
I don't like bars.
I don't like "Dancing With The Stars."
I don't like "High School Musical."
I don't like watching TV.
I don't like the Spiderman series.
I don't like movies.
I don't like to travel.

I don't like anything normal people like.

What is a person to do in a situation like this?

Click to expand...

haha you don't like "anything normal people like?"
what do you like then?
and dw, i'm anything but normal too
so i'm not laughing in a mean way..

Porcupine

What do you like to do?
Why don't you try shutting off the t.v. and the computer (or at least limit the time spent using it) Oh yeah you don't like t.v. So how do you occupy your time? Working?

I'm sure something will come to mind
You must've enjoyed something when you were little that had nothing to do with tv or computers. Music, art, riding your bike, sports?

I'm sure whatever it is you are interested in you can find others who can share that with you.

I kind of know how it feels to not have any common interests with most other people. I never watch television, I don't care at all about sports, I don't give a honeysuckle about celebrities, and I've not really been able to get into the music that's popular nowadays.

This is where, idealistically, I'd provide a "Nonetheless, I've been able to..." comment.

To be honest, though, it doesn't really seem like there's any way of socializing people if you're not interested in anything. Maybe you could try to give those things another chance - I didn't always use to enjoy reading.

You like PC games. I also like PC games.

Matt,, To what Ive seen hear your are a head of your years in music and my Guss is in lots of things. This can be a bad thing for the hear and now, but later on your going to have a great life I bet.

I did have a PS zorg but only had a couple of games that I enjoyed playing on so I got rid. And the only game I use the PC for normally is the odd game of tetris.