I'm feeling shy, even posting here

Hi, I'm new, hello everyone

I'm feeling shy, even posting here, about my loneliness.
I very rarely talk about my loneliness to anyone, and to very few people, when I do, I usually end up crying, so it has to be someone really close, like my mom for example. I avoid talking about it to much because I feel like I will be a burden.

I've been lurking around here while waiting for my activation mail, and I see that I can openly talk about loneliness here and all the feelings and thoughts that come with it. It is unusual, in a positive way
I really can't understand why I haven't thought about it before, going on a forum where people have experienced the same loneliness as I have, but I'm glad I finally did

What I found relieving was the threads about thoughts people go through, and I thought I was the only one having those thoughts and feelings! I guess that's what many lonely people also think, that they're the only ones with those thoughts and feelings. One example is "there must be something seriously wrong with me" or "am I a bad person". (Not that I was glad that other people were going through the same, it actually made me cry because I feel for you)We're lonely but not alone in our loneliness.

I feel like this can be my safe haven where I can share these things.

Welcome Droplet,

What you've said is shared by so many, so I hope you find the support and friendship you want here.

hiya drop. im so glad u found us. welcome aboard. & oh luv the picture thingy

Some of the things I've said on this forum I wouldn't even tell a therapist. I love the pseudo anonymity it provides. It's incredibly unlikely that anyone I know would ever stumble upon this forum and realize who I am.

In real life I can be a shiny, happy, person to strangers but they will never know the torture I go through every single day. On this forum it can go straight from my head to the keyboard without fear being judged and ridiculed.

I have clinical depression, nothing caused it, I can't "just snap out of it", I cannot be cured, and I must live every day with a slight feeling that I shouldn't be here in this world. On this website I can actually talk about.

Thankk you for your warm welcome

I don't think there is anything wrong with us really, but what is it about us? Are we simply to shy? Or what?

I have people telling me (if I tell them I'm shy), for example my sister, that I don't seem shy at all. But there is this feeling inside, an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty that makes me feel very limited, .It filters my mind, like a war in my head saying "oh no, you can't say that!" untill my mind goes completely empty and I don't know what to talk about, I then can go quiet, and people can find me boring, or I talk about silly stuff... It's like this filter is doing exacly opposite to what it intends to do, makes me seem more stupid or wierd.

There are these few precious moments where I completely relax and conversation flows, and people like me alot then, almost too much, like from getting no attention to getting all the attention....

Honestly, I think it's all about self confidence. I am far too worried about what people think to even really express myself. Online it's the complete opposite, I know I'll probably never meet any of you, so I don't care what I say. I wish I could take the confidence I have online and use it in the real world.

Droplet said:

I have people telling me (if I tell them I'm shy), for example my sister, that I don't seem shy at all. But there is this feeling inside, an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty that makes me feel very limited, .It filters my mind, like a war in my head saying "oh no, you can't say that!" untill my mind goes completely empty and I don't know what to talk about, I then can go quiet, and people can find me boring, or I talk about silly stuff... It's like this filter is doing exacly opposite to what it intends to do, makes me seem more stupid or wierd.

There are these few precious moments where I completely relax and conversation flows, and people like me alot then, almost too much, like from getting no attention to getting all the attention....

Click to expand...

I get that all the time! And I always thought that's some conversational skill problem or something like that, that I have. But I don't know, I've been thinking it's not, it's just something that hits you when it wants to. Like I've got no control of it, I'd just blank out in my mind and don't know what to say. And people tell me I'm shy, but believe me, I can talk a lot when that little problem doesn't pop up in my head.

Droplet said:

It filters my mind, like a war in my head saying "oh no, you can't say that!" untill my mind goes completely empty and I don't know what to talk about, I then can go quiet, and people can find me boring, or I talk about silly stuff... It's like this filter is doing exacly opposite to what it intends to do, makes me seem more stupid or wierd.

There are these few precious moments where I completely relax and conversation flows, and people like me alot then, almost too much, like from getting no attention to getting all the attention....

Click to expand...

Heya Droplet, I'm new here too!!! You've just put exactly how I feel into words!! I'm soo thankful to know there's other people who go through the same as me... thank you!

Hi Droplet, and welcome to the forum.

Hi again.

I just want to say that I think letting my boyfriend reply to a thread (just because I thought it would help more if a man answered) was a mistake. I'm saying that because now I feel like it may have ruined my reputation on here (maybe you'll get confused, like, who is answering), and I just want it to be me answering from now, as I don't always agree with all of my boyfriends views, after all we are different people. I want this to be my safe haven, I won't let my boyfriend butt in anymore

Also, after his post I now feel shy and embaressed because of some of the things he wrote (about me) which I personally thought was abit pointless...

Anyway, I hope to get my courage back and be able to open up on this forum.

Thanks

hi, oh my godh.. i read the thread with you're botfriend..it's not a big deal, i don't think it did anything to your reputation (i'm not even sure most people here have a reputation really). But yea, highly doubt anyone would judge you negatively on that...
Don't feel shy n stuff...to me here is a ..lol..a safe haven, a place to open-up to people when you can't in the real world...

seriously though..keep posting and stuff...how else do you thing we'd have all these threads and post ..if people were shy n didn't post (that is)
oh and i thought you made you're point well..(with the bf thing)... girls should not be judged so heavily on how many men they have been with.

Each person has led a different life...we shouldn't be judged at all really..but in a more practical sense I think we should be judged on how good we are to others...as in if we value others pain and so on near to ours (so i agreed with you..but that's off-topic..and don't want to keep that discussion going)

so just keep posting...expression of different opinions make the world a less lonely place for the different (lol)

Droplet said:

Hi again.

I just want to say that I think letting my boyfriend reply to a thread (just because I thought it would help more if a man answered) was a mistake. I'm saying that because now I feel like it may have ruined my reputation on here (maybe you'll get confused, like, who is answering), and I just want it to be me answering from now, as I don't always agree with all of my boyfriends views, after all we are different people. I want this to be my safe haven, I won't let my boyfriend butt in anymore

Also, after his post I now feel shy and embaressed because of some of the things he wrote (about me) which I personally thought was abit pointless...

Anyway, I hope to get my courage back and be able to open up on this forum.

Thanks

Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, understandable. Get your courage back and open up on this forum already!

mink said:

Droplet said:

Hi again.

I just want to say that I think letting my boyfriend reply to a thread (just because I thought it would help more if a man answered) was a mistake. I'm saying that because now I feel like it may have ruined my reputation on here (maybe you'll get confused, like, who is answering), and I just want it to be me answering from now, as I don't always agree with all of my boyfriends views, after all we are different people. I want this to be my safe haven, I won't let my boyfriend butt in anymore

Also, after his post I now feel shy and embaressed because of some of the things he wrote (about me) which I personally thought was abit pointless...

Anyway, I hope to get my courage back and be able to open up on this forum.

Thanks

Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, understandable. Get your courage back and open up on this forum already!

Click to expand...

Mink, why are you lonely, you're such a great person I've been enjoying your posts!

And everyone else, great people on here

jales said:

hi, oh my godh.. i read the thread with you're botfriend..it's not a big deal, i don't think it did anything to your reputation (i'm not even sure most people here have a reputation really). But yea, highly doubt anyone would judge you negatively on that...
Don't feel shy n stuff...to me here is a ..lol..a safe haven, a place to open-up to people when you can't in the real world...

seriously though..keep posting and stuff...how else do you thing we'd have all these threads and post ..if people were shy n didn't post (that is)
oh and i thought you made you're point well..(with the bf thing)... girls should not be judged so heavily on how many men they have been with.

Each person has led a different life...we shouldn't be judged at all really..but in a more practical sense I think we should be judged on how good we are to others...as in if we value others pain and so on near to ours (so i agreed with you..but that's off-topic..and don't want to keep that discussion going)

so just keep posting...expression of different opinions make the world a less lonely place for the different (lol)

Click to expand...

Thanks I guess it's just bad experience from other forums that make me abit paranoid

Droplet said:

mink said:

Droplet said:

Hi again.

I just want to say that I think letting my boyfriend reply to a thread (just because I thought it would help more if a man answered) was a mistake. I'm saying that because now I feel like it may have ruined my reputation on here (maybe you'll get confused, like, who is answering), and I just want it to be me answering from now, as I don't always agree with all of my boyfriends views, after all we are different people. I want this to be my safe haven, I won't let my boyfriend butt in anymore

Also, after his post I now feel shy and embaressed because of some of the things he wrote (about me) which I personally thought was abit pointless...

Anyway, I hope to get my courage back and be able to open up on this forum.

Thanks

Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, understandable. Get your courage back and open up on this forum already!

Click to expand...

Mink, why are you lonely, you're such a great person I've been enjoying your posts!

And everyone else, great people on here

Click to expand...

Why, thank you, I'm not that great that's why I'm lonely. Lol..
But seriously, I'm lonely cos...well I have friends but that's my social life outside. My own life, it's lonely, no one to love, no companion, I miss my dad more and more and I seem to be the only one still struggling to get on my own two feet. Lonesome.

I think I'm more smiley cos I try to have a positive outlook in things. So tired of you know? Lol..so I just try to chill and smile when I can, besides having those emotional moments.

mink said:

Droplet said:

mink said:

Droplet said:

Hi again.

I just want to say that I think letting my boyfriend reply to a thread (just because I thought it would help more if a man answered) was a mistake. I'm saying that because now I feel like it may have ruined my reputation on here (maybe you'll get confused, like, who is answering), and I just want it to be me answering from now, as I don't always agree with all of my boyfriends views, after all we are different people. I want this to be my safe haven, I won't let my boyfriend butt in anymore

Also, after his post I now feel shy and embaressed because of some of the things he wrote (about me) which I personally thought was abit pointless...

Anyway, I hope to get my courage back and be able to open up on this forum.

Thanks

Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, understandable. Get your courage back and open up on this forum already!

Click to expand...

Mink, why are you lonely, you're such a great person I've been enjoying your posts!

And everyone else, great people on here

Click to expand...

Why, thank you, I'm not that great that's why I'm lonely. Lol..
But seriously, I'm lonely cos...well I have friends but that's my social life outside. My own life, it's lonely, no one to love, no companion, I miss my dad more and more and I seem to be the only one still struggling to get on my own two feet. Lonesome.

I think I'm more smiley cos I try to have a positive outlook in things. So tired of you know? Lol..so I just try to chill and smile when I can, besides having those emotional moments.

Click to expand...

I see, I've got a boyfriend and no real friends (1 I have, but she lives far away (in my home town) and I rarely see her), so slightly different situation. What I REALLY want is just a close friend (doesen't matter, male or female, but I usually stay clear of males now, because they mostly just have hidden intentions), preferrably a female who is open minded and interesting and still likes to have fun that I can share with, and be there for each other. Doesen't have to be many, just miss real closeness with a female, with no drama, jealousy or intrigues.

Droplet said:

I see, I've got a boyfriend and no real friends (1 I have, but she lives far away (in my home town) and I rarely see her), so slightly different situation. What I REALLY want is just a close friend (doesen't matter, male or female, but I usually stay clear of males now, because they mostly just have hidden intentions), preferrably a female who is open minded and interesting and still likes to have fun that I can share with, and be there for each other. Doesen't have to be many, just miss real closeness with a female, with no drama, jealousy or intrigues.

Click to expand...

Yeah I know. Just someone, like a sister minus the dramas, jealousy and intrigues - means she's just bonded to you through the good and bad times. Just always there and close at heart. But it's hard to find one. I hope you do sometime, sooner or later.

mink said:

Droplet said:

I see, I've got a boyfriend and no real friends (1 I have, but she lives far away (in my home town) and I rarely see her), so slightly different situation. What I REALLY want is just a close friend (doesen't matter, male or female, but I usually stay clear of males now, because they mostly just have hidden intentions), preferrably a female who is open minded and interesting and still likes to have fun that I can share with, and be there for each other. Doesen't have to be many, just miss real closeness with a female, with no drama, jealousy or intrigues.

Click to expand...

Yeah I know. Just someone, like a sister minus the dramas, jealousy and intrigues - means she's just bonded to you through the good and bad times. Just always there and close at heart. But it's hard to find one. I hope you do sometime, sooner or later.

Click to expand...

By the way, am I asking for too much in asking for a close friendship? Reading back on my post it looked like I had a long checklist... I really just want someone I can relax and be genuine with, and not dumbing myself down to have conversation.

By the way Mink, I would like to know more about your experience, have you made any threads about it?

Droplet said:

By the way, am I asking for too much in asking for a close friendship? Reading back on my post it looked like I had a long checklist... I really just want someone I can relax and be genuine with, and not dumbing myself down to have conversation.

By the way Mink, I would like to know more about your experience, have you made any threads about it?

Click to expand...

I think most people would want that basically so too much? I don't think so, not for me. Lol..

Lmao you know when I read "have you made any threads about it?" I was reading "threads" as "threats" lol okay sorry going off topic.
Anyway, nope I don't have a specific thread on my story, just a short introduction at the New Members forum, and basically I write my experiences all over this forum in my replies. Lol..but now that you mention it, it'd probably be a good idea to start one huh. Should I? Cos I tend to have problems averting everyone's attention to me in one thread, it's threatening. Lol..

mink said:

Droplet said:

By the way, am I asking for too much in asking for a close friendship? Reading back on my post it looked like I had a long checklist... I really just want someone I can relax and be genuine with, and not dumbing myself down to have conversation.

By the way Mink, I would like to know more about your experience, have you made any threads about it?

Click to expand...

I think most people would want that basically so too much? I don't think so, not for me. Lol..

Lmao you know when I read "have you made any threads about it?" I was reading "threads" as "threats" lol okay sorry going off topic.
Anyway, nope I don't have a specific thread on my story, just a short introduction at the New Members forum, and basically I write my experiences all over this forum in my replies. Lol..but now that you mention it, it'd probably be a good idea to start one huh. Should I?

Click to expand...

Lol, have you made any threats about it?

Only if you want to and feel like it

I see you're from Singapore? You know I wanted to move there at one time, it beautiful there isn't it?