My life is in pieces... (rant/venting/need advice)

I know, pretty generic name for a thread, but that's exactly how I feel right now. I think I may just need to vent a bit. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this, so I want to just let it all out.

Before I start with the main subject, I feel its worth mentioning that it was my birthday yesterday. I just turned 16. Worst birthday I've ever had. Nobody was even at the house from when I woke up at 11:00am to late past midnight. I was alone all day with nobody to even talk to. This ties in a bit later.

Anyways, there's a girl who I really like. I've never felt this way about a person before. I can't get her out of my head. Most people wouldn't consider her that attractive, and to be honest, I didn't really either until I got to know her. Starting a few months ago, we have 3 classes together. And I started to like her a little bit, but I'm a bit of a pessimist in this whole relationship aspect of life, so I didn't really say anything about it.

Strangely enough, one day she started talking to me. It was really casual, and there really wasn't anything to it. At this point I still didn't think anything more would happen. Even though I liked her, I was almost 100% positive that she didn't like me.

For a while we didn't talk to each other. Whatever. But then one day I found out she had just started going out with a friend of mine... I didn't like her enough to get truly upset about it, but I figured their relationship wouldn't last very long anyways. I was wrong. But for a while I forgot about it. Until she started talking to me. A lot. She talked to me more and more everyday at school.

One night on facebook she started chatting to me randomly. Asking me if I liked anyone, asking me if I'd ever gone out with anyone. I answered no to both questions. She asked me for my number, and she started texting me everyday. She would say she likes my smile, and constantly asking me what I was thinking. We had conversations that went far into the night. It really seemed like she liked me. I was so confused though, since she already had a boyfriend.

I've gotten to a point now where I REALLY like her and want to tell her how I feel, but she's giving me mixed signals. Every time we talk at school it seems like she likes me. She and her boyfriend almost broke up last weekend (she told me it was because she was sick of him not caring. He forgot her birthday, valentines, etc...), and she was talking to me a lot, but I find out today that they must have made up or something. She's being kinda short with me, and she says she went to a movie with her boyfriend yesterday... On my birthday.

Ugh I feel so shitty. How do you think I should show her how I feel? I have a feeling she might already know I like her, but just isn't ready to break up with her boyfriend for me. Or she might just want me to take the first step.

I just needed to vent, I don't think I left anything out. Maybe (hopefully) some of you could give me some advice? (NOT "its just high school, get over her")

Whatever

hey. well... i would just keep talking to her. it does seem like she likes you.
(don't do anything more than that as long as she has a boyfriend though.)

Yeah, I guess I'm just a bit worried about becoming trapped in the "friends-zone" if I don't make it clear to her or wait too long.

She just likes the attention. Don't take this one too seriously. She knows you have little experience and she knows she can play around with you and get away with it.

If you still really feel like playing her game then you need to start being cold towards her. She will either react or not care. blah blah blah. ???. WIN! then LOSE!
Cat String Theory

Oh **** it, you're probably right. I think I may have been making my self too available. I should start being a bit cold to her now?

Would you mind elaborating a bit?

Back in the days...if boys would get in fights..our dads would threaten to kick our ass too. lol (that's what all my friends say too.)

maybe you should tell you mom what you just did...she'll probably
***** slapp you too.

it's all good dude..at least you have babes making themselves avaliable to you.

Lonesome Crow said:

Back in the days...if boys would get in fights..our dads would threaten to kick our ass too. lol (that's what all my friends say too.)

maybe you should tell you mom what you just did...she'll probably
***** slapp you too.

it's all good dude..at least you have babes making themselves avaliable to you.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry, what the fresia are you even talking about?

Evidently you like this girl. It's bothering so you so god **** much that ur world is falling to pieces.

She asked you if you liked her..striaght up in her own ways.
You fucken lied to yourself and you lied to her.
Now you're trying to lie to me.

She left the door wide open for ya..evidently. She gave you all sort
of hints..You snooth you loose.

ah fresia it..i'll give you the fucken suger coated or wizal ur dizzle version.
" when opportunity knocks..you answer"
" when your ship comes in..you gatto set sail"
" pay for the tricket and just get on the fucken ride"

K...rookie mistakes
It's not the end of the world. Your life aint over. Theres other women that's gonna come into your life...stay the fresia out of the friendzone..oki doki

Heres how the process works dude. If you get one girl....other girls
are ganna be chasing ya. "if you get one you get them all"
Women are crazy like that. It's a territorial thing or built into thier system.

Or you can try other ways ..like a bunch of dudes that bitches
and whine of why in the fresia..they treat this one chick so..so nice
and always end up in the friendzone and not ever having a GF.
But this one chick always using him as a fucken emotional tampon
while the other dudes are going out with her.
Yeah..yeah and ur gonna get other chicks saying what a fucken nice guy you are and wished other men were like you but wont touch you with a ten foot pole either...nice real fucken nice.

my challenge is not for lack of women in my life...it's settling down with one. Women always find thier way into my life.
Ive had plenty of women ask me out or came after me...K

Ur ganna get women in ur life....just belive in that.

K, ur 16 and of course u dont wanna be getting chicks pregnant.
and sometimes women will side track you from your career, educations , and your hope and dreams.
At the sametime your body chemitry is ganna kick in and your consentrations on your career are gonna be all messed up anyways.

Built relationship with women, getting to know them, ..ect
is a learning process. If you dont start at 16...you'll have to start at fucken 40 if you wait until 40...okay
Puppy love...okay

Yeah, it sounds like she's playing the love triangle game between you and her current/ex boyfriend.

My advice: GET THE fresia OUTTA THERE! I have played fly on the wall to far too many love triangles, and they never, EVER end well.

Hmm cold comfort I wasn't saying that she is for sure doing that but it just seemed like that from my perspective. If it was me I would just forget about her.

The other bit of my post was just information on if you really do decide you want to play the game with her. Its all based on a bunch of PUA stuff which is blah. If you really want to get into that you should check it out. I don't really advise it but yeah. Let her know you like her and then be a little cold towards her yup. Don't respond to her calls or txts right away or ignore some of them, don't agree to meetup when she wants to, meetup the next day or some time later, you pick the place/time/activities and tell her rather than ask her anything(supposedly women don't like making decisions)...etc. If you wanna go that direction. You should probably look it up though because I don't really follow much of that stuff and I'm not an expert.

I agree that, when she asked you, you should have told her the truth. You didn't have to say that you liked HER, you could have simply said that you liked someone but they were in a relationship so you didn't feel free to talk about it. It might, at least, have given her the hint that you liked someone (and she might well have wondered if it were her).

As to how she behaves, at 16 (or any age for that matter) it can be hard to know what you want. It could be that she feels close to you emotionally, enough to talk about the problems she's having with her boyfriend and then when things are going well between them she gets so swept up in that that she doesn't realise how it's messing you around. Perhaps you should tell her how much she's upset you by forgetting your birthday? Even as friends she should have remembered that.

I'm sorry you had a bad birthday. I hope things go better for you. Take care *hugs*

hey, i am 27 years old and I had a similar situation when i was in high school. i liked someone and to make the story short, i felt like you -didnt know what to do. the only advice i can give you is to keep the communication doors open because you can be friends and really that is what matters, to keep in touch (hopefully forever) if you cant be girlfriend/boyfriend-its a shame but it wasnt meant to be. and once i had a relationship for 8 years -living together and basically sharing everything together- in the end i dont talk to this person anymore. .its like we never met. now i feel like i lived a dream, its all gone and its just memories, I so wish i could still be friends with that person but maybe having a relationship damaged everything and we cant talk or see each other anymore, well, thats another story...just make sure you stay positive, dont get too depressed because you are living your life and you only get one life! enjoy your friendships and relationships(if they are meant to happen) they will come and you will learn from them alot. just dont regret anything! keep on living!!! be happy!! i survived and i am happy!

My advice to the OP is to forget her.

I just got back from being led along for about 5 months by a lady who apparently couldn't make up her mind. It left me feeling utterly worthless for most of that time, and even now I can't "read" women.

She is similar in that she is apparently enjoying stringing you along -she already has a boyfriend, and she's not breaking up with him for you. So clearly you're just her "go to" person when she's down or whatever.

I know that sounds harsh, but honestly, it hurts more to just let them keep doing it. I made myself available all the time, and I got nothing but blanking and silence.

A girl worth your time will not play these games with you, she'll treat you as an "equal" in that she will genuinely help you out with stuff too, spend time with you, and not put other people and activities above your happiness.

Also, you are young, your life is not in pieces. Think of people who have lost limbs or are paralysed and stuff...that's far worse than a silly girl messing about.

16 is nothing for relationships. I am 20 now, and I still haven't had one, so don't sweat it

I can completely sympathise with the whole "infatuation" phase, because I was stuck in it myself, and it feels horrible sometimes. People tell you to "get over it", but you can't. It was only that I woke up to the fact that I was being played for a fool that I sorted things out.

Best of luck, and I hope you find a decent girl.