Extremely shy/Life problems

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1994kid

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Greetings guys, I am a 16 year old male with what you might call Life Problems. I am extremely shy and have found the courage to look for a solution that will help me with these "problems".
I have never been talkative in school, throughout my first few years of elementary I never spoke a word, couldn't stand up for myself, couldn't even ask to use the washroom (usually wet myself). after my 4th or 5th year of elementary I started talk a bit more but the only people I could make friends with were the other outcasts. I have about 10 friends maximum in high school. None of my friends are close enough for me to tell my problems in life.
My mother was using drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy and I have found that I am very angry about this, I just recently spilled out my bottled emotions towards her. I am now being tested for any kind of brain damage. My brother is diagnosed with ADHD and FASD, I cry almost 4 times a month just thinking about it. My father on the otherhand has never been there for me. i saw him about 3 times in my life total. He never speaks to me and I feel he doesn't really care. My grandmother is the best relative a got, she raised me, loves me, and I cannot stand the thought of going on in life without her. It makes me cry everytime I think about my grandmother not being there.
I find myself staying up till 4 am thinking about these kinds of things, Im might what you call depressed. Please take this thread seriously, I cannot take anymore judgment or rejection. Thanks :)
 
Well at only 16 thats a lot to take in, at any age for that matter... have you spoken to a counselor or psychotherapist before? I'm sort of old school and feel like it definitely helps to speak with someone else about the way you feel.
 
*hugs 1994kid*

man I was really pretty sad and miserable when I was your age too, I didn't have nay friends in highschool, and it was sad,

but i got through it I devoted a lot of time to my hobbies and I would often work at my grandmother's bookstore on saturdays. My grandparetns are great as well, grandparetns are just awesome :)

they employed me in highschool, and in my senior year i would always go over to their place and they give me lunch with cookies :)

I'm sorry about what happend with your mom I would be really upset with my mom if I ever found out she did something like that. I still don't get along well with my mom, after the divorce my was just angry all the time and made me feel miserable, and I still feel angry about that.

highschool is hell, but you can make it through, and ussually things get better after high school

in highschool people are very shallow and cliquy and if you fall out of one clique it's very hard to get back in with another, but it's only 4 years

what is FASD?

have you thought about maybe talking to a consular or someone like that?

I had a lot of consuling and at first I didn't like it becuase i had to go and it took time out of my life sitting in the waiting room, but afterwards when it was my choice I decided to see a therapist for a few years and it ussualy helped make me feel better

good luck

*hugs*

:)











































































 
hi...sorry to head (HUG)

i am 16 to and going tro the same stuff

i dont have mutch freinds in HS like you said non colse enoth to realy talk to

i never say or talked to my dad from waht i have heard his an alcoholic...
my grandma rased me my mom work most of the time

grandpa died in 2008 we wernt colose

i only got huged twise but it was a hi/bye hug adn she did it with everyone...

hope you dont have brain damage (WARRY)

and FASD is when the mother drinks/use drugs wile she is pregneat the "posion" goes in the blood and slows development of the fetas(baby)

i thing thats what it is not 100% sure atm

pm me enytime if you want to talk i will allway be here
 
FASD= Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, a brain damaging sin caused by the mothers drinking habits.
 
10 friends is more than most people. You have to try to develop social skills now, trust me. Right now you are in the same position as everyone else around more or less(everyone lives at home with parents, maybe some are wealthy and others are not, but the overall situation is similar) and segregated with those of your age group. When you are older this will not be the case and thus it will be harder to find a social circle and interact. If you continue to isolate yourself, you may feel you can never catch up later on. If you think about it, for everything in life you will need someone else, so you need good social skills.

If you keep thinking negative self defeating thoughts, over the years they will accumulate into unconscious patterns. You need to stop that. Get into things like excercise(with weights and cardio), meditation, Psych-k, proper diet, Neuro-linguistic programming, etc., now while you are still young.
 
You're not alone. I was really shy too at that age. I hated being in groups and just watching others navigate through the social games just made me feel worse. But I had a few friends, but even so they were sometimes very petty and immature. From my experience, it gets better. Most people at that age are still a long way off from maturity. Find something to focus on in the meantime.

It sounds like it's been tough for you until now. Your mom and dad might not be there for you right now, but your grandmother has stepped up to the plate. And that means a lot. Believe me, the support of a single person goes a long way. it's not the number of relationships you have, but the quality of the ones you got. Everyone else, you can just ignore.

But there are people out there who do care. And that's helped pulled me through some tough times. I think talking it out helps.
 
You're not alone. I was really shy too at that age. I hated being in groups and just watching others navigate through the social games just made me feel worse. But I had a few friends, but even so they were sometimes very petty and immature. From my experience, it gets better. Most people at that age are still a long way off from maturity. Find something to focus on in the meantime.

It sounds like it's been tough for you until now. Your mom and dad might not be there for you right now, but your grandmother has stepped up to the plate. And that means a lot. Believe me, the support of a single person goes a long way. it's not the number of relationships you have, but the quality of the ones you got. Everyone else, you can just ignore.

But there are people out there who do care. And that's helped pulled me through some tough times. I think talking it out helps.
 
I am now in College, but when I was in highschool I didnt have any friends. I just didnt connect with absolutely anyone, hell I didnt even go to parties because I never got invited nor was I interested in them (they are overrated). I was an introvert, although I was still able to talk to people...but I just never ever made any friends. I found everyone in highschool had such a fakeness to them, I couldn't stand that fact and it pushed me away from everyone.

Like Young Rascal above, I had about 3 people I conversed with regularly except they as well were extremely immature and I found it very awkward/annoying to be around them. It consistently bothered me to talk to them yet I kept coming back because I felt so lonely. I did have one friend all the way from grade 5 to now (I haven't seen him in a while though because we are both on opposite ends of the country (Canada)). He has aspergers syndrome and can be very different at times, yet I think he is an awesome person even though he can be socially awkward at times. I find him to be the truest person I have ever met, we always have tons of fun, yet again because of some of his issues we dont get along ALL the time (as with many friends) but we still enjoy each others presence.

Believe everyone who sais "Highschool is full of bullies and nonsensical bull poo :)). Although you absolutely need to get through it. I can say though that right now, I am in college and it is a different experience. I am actually really glad I went to a "Technical" college rather than a University, because I have been able to mostly avoid the people who are pretty much fresh out of highschool and who are still extremely immature and who think the only cool thing to do is get plastered all day every day. I really lucked out as I am roomed with 11 others who are fairly similar and pretty dedicated, I mean heck...none of us are partiers...we dont get plastered every weekend and most of us enjoy even just chilling out, playing video games and watching movies n such on a Friday/Saturday night. I hope you can take my experience and put that knowledge to good use with yours, and if anything remember that there is still many people outside of highschool that arent interested in any of the bullshit.

1994Kid my friend, believe me when I say...if you can find even just one true friend you like to be around, whether be male or female is better than having a million friends you just "talk to". Life can be hard sometimes, but I think as others have said that you are very lucky to at least have your grandmother there. Cherish that relationship and never ever let it go, because that my friend if anything is your lifeline and will help you get through lifes tough times.

Also, another good thing that helped me through tough times was the gym, I found working out took my mind off negative things. I enjoyed listening to some good music and working out. I guess what I am trying to say is that you need atleast 1 thing to look forward to if highschool crap isnt your thing. As time passed and I discovered video games, working out and my dog (RIP Kali) got me through those tough times and I feel like it prevented me from getting into some major trouble during highschool.

Anywho, I am on a speal tonite and I hope any of my ramblings will help you out and give you hope in that there are better things out there, you just need to look for them (I am still in the process of doing that too!)
 

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