At school I am the total opposite to what I am like at home, confident, and able to speak up. At school I am shy, quiet, socially awkward. I feel as if I am annoying people with my presence, I feel like an unwanted piece of rubbish. A burden.
I know that I can be so much more, possibly charming, definitely confident & fun to be around as long as I didn't care about what people think about me.
Today is a perfect example of what I had to endure as a consequence of being shy. The group of "friends" I hang around with are relatively welcoming and kind, they joke about, but I don't chip in because I worry whether or not I'll say something stupid.
Today they were planning out a night on the town. The whole group is going and many others are going too. They have ID & are going to attend a foam party. It sounds like so much fun. I desperately wanted to go, you know speak up, join in and have fun. I know I don't have ID but at least an invitation would be nice.
They're going to take pictures and upload them up to facebook, make new friends and acquaintances and the sad thing is that they don't even think about me.
Yes, I know I am quiet and yes I know that I'm shy but that does certainly does not mean that I do not like to have fun and have a bloody good time.
This has happened a few times, so I have just come to the conclusion that they assume I don't like to go out. I've even tried to make hints without confronting them about the fact, but they still don't take the hint. I hate confrontation and I hate speaking up about my wants and needs because I think I sound greedy and needy, the two things that I do not want to give the impression of.
So basically, I am stuck in a rut. Stuck in on the weekends doing jack all with my life because of my so called "friends". I am upset, distraught and don't know what to do.
I know that I can be so much more, possibly charming, definitely confident & fun to be around as long as I didn't care about what people think about me.
Today is a perfect example of what I had to endure as a consequence of being shy. The group of "friends" I hang around with are relatively welcoming and kind, they joke about, but I don't chip in because I worry whether or not I'll say something stupid.
Today they were planning out a night on the town. The whole group is going and many others are going too. They have ID & are going to attend a foam party. It sounds like so much fun. I desperately wanted to go, you know speak up, join in and have fun. I know I don't have ID but at least an invitation would be nice.
They're going to take pictures and upload them up to facebook, make new friends and acquaintances and the sad thing is that they don't even think about me.
Yes, I know I am quiet and yes I know that I'm shy but that does certainly does not mean that I do not like to have fun and have a bloody good time.
This has happened a few times, so I have just come to the conclusion that they assume I don't like to go out. I've even tried to make hints without confronting them about the fact, but they still don't take the hint. I hate confrontation and I hate speaking up about my wants and needs because I think I sound greedy and needy, the two things that I do not want to give the impression of.
So basically, I am stuck in a rut. Stuck in on the weekends doing jack all with my life because of my so called "friends". I am upset, distraught and don't know what to do.