Long Distance Relationships

Love em? hate em? in one? describe

They are ok as long as both people decide to take it seriously and put a lot of effort into good daily communication and meeting up as often as possible. You have to share your life with them just as much as you would normally. LDRs can be made interesting with a little creativity.

The reason most of these fail is because of insecurities that lead to trust issues. Before you even try, make sure you can handle being able to trust someone when you have only their word to go on.

I don't mind LDRs but it still sucks when you want to be with the person and they aren't there

My only "relationship" was with a guy I met on a anime forum years ago. He was the most wonderful person ever. Sometimes I wonder if he was my soulmate, but I had to end it for some reasons. Nothing due to him. We never actually met and were in the process of planning our meet up. We had our online, over the phone long distance relationship for quite a while. For people like me and him it worked very well. We got to know one another and if we had met up it would have been wonderful. Or so I think, which causes alot of regret on my part. But that's a whole other story.

Now people who have already met and then have to go to a long distance relationship, I can see how that would be so much harder. It all depends on the people and circumstances really, I think.

For someone with my domestic situation (young child, single parent), they're a complete no no. It is hard enough even to date people close by.

However, I think if you're in the right situation (young, few ties, able to travel easily etc) they're doable. However, ultimately one of you has to be willing to move if the relationship is to go long term. They shouldn't be entered into blindly and that should be on people's minds from the start.

partly-cloudy said:

My only "relationship" was with a guy I met on a anime forum years ago. He was the most wonderful person ever. Sometimes I wonder if he was my soulmate, but I had to end it for some reasons. Nothing due to him. We never actually met and were in the process of planning our meet up. We had our online, over the phone long distance relationship for quite a while. For people like me and him it worked very well. We got to know one another and if we had met up it would have been wonderful. Or so I think, which causes alot of regret on my part. But that's a whole other story.

Now people who have already met and then have to go to a long distance relationship, I can see how that would be so much harder. It all depends on the people and circumstances really, I think.

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Ow, that's awful.

I hope you can meet somebody else as wonderful.



If a relationship can survive the whole long distance thing, then it must be one heck of a strong relationship and worth hanging onto to.

Been there, done that... for YEARS. I want someone around that can actually physically hold me.

LucieMay said:

For someone with my domestic situation (young child, single parent), they're a complete no no. It is hard enough even to date people close by.

However, I think if you're in the right situation (young, few ties, able to travel easily etc) they're doable. However, ultimately one of you has to be willing to move if the relationship is to go long term. They shouldn't be entered into blindly and that should be on people's minds from the start.

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Lucie May I was wondering as a parent, how would you feel if somehow down the line your child got involved in an LDR or online boyfriend? or girlfriend?

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kamya said:

They are ok as long as both people decide to take it seriously and put a lot of effort into good daily communication and meeting up as often as possible. You have to share your life with them just as much as you would normally. LDRs can be made interesting with a little creativity.

The reason most of these fail is because of insecurities that lead to trust issues. Before you even try, make sure you can handle being able to trust someone when you have only their word to go on.

I don't mind LDRs but it still sucks when you want to be with the person and they aren't there

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just out of curiousity were u ever in one?

Yes, a 2000+ miles away one.

I am currently in a long distance relationship myself. He only lives 100 miles away and I do see him about once, twice or thrice (if im lucky) a month.

Its really hard, especially for mine because our rate of arguing goes way up when we dont see each other for a long time.

I don't think that can work for me. I even tried to link up with a lady online here in my country; in the same city and state where I school. But the issue is just that, even though we call each other every once in a while, I have not told her my intention though I felt she must have sensed it. I am just having this feeling that it just won't work out so I didn't bother to go ahead with my initial plan.

Now, that was for someone living rather close by, not to talk of someone miles away.

I am in a LDR... for almost 2 years. First it was ok. He was still studying in a city, I was still studying, in a different city. We used to talk about being together. But then I realised he didn't really want to be around me. and now I am stuck in a futureless relatioship. He says he wants to be with me for the rest of his life but I doubt that. Talking bout lonliness...

I was on one for 2 years.

We met online (@ alonelylife), then met in person, he visited me when he could. He lived in the Netherlands, I lived in Jamaica. We got married while in a long distance relationship.

Now we live together and we are really, really happy. We have been living together for a year. And while long distance, I was studying so I got to spend 3 to 4 months out of the year living with him in the Netherlands.

Well that's great Jales. Nice success story. Why are you still on here then? Just for fun and to help others?

I suppose I'm in sort of a failed one. Met a girl when I was traveling, kept in touch after it for almost a year, don't really hear from her anymore. It makes me pretty sad. I'm not one of these stoic people who just moves from situation to situation in life without anything affecting me. More the opposite. The fleeting nature of life and the good times that fade away makes me sad. Maybe I'm a dreamer but I don't see why something like this should end

I love this place, it was my home all through university, non-lonely people also like to read, and I guess I'm just used to reading this website. Plus it is always nice to meet new people. Besides my husband (and family) I do not have any friends.

I don't think I can help anyone on this site. Unless we were to become friends in which case they would be helping me as well. I'm not lonely like I once was though (when I initially joined here).

About your relationship, sorry that it ended so strangely. I think LDR can be just like real ones, most times they do not work out.. but that is okay because when it does work out .. it will last and all the failed times will suddenly have been worth it.

cool_breeze said:

Well that's great Jales. Nice success story. Why are you still on here then? Just for fun and to help others?

I suppose I'm in sort of a failed one. Met a girl when I was traveling, kept in touch after it for almost a year, don't really hear from her anymore. It makes me pretty sad. I'm not one of these stoic people who just moves from situation to situation in life without anything affecting me. More the opposite. The fleeting nature of life and the good times that fade away makes me sad. Maybe I'm a dreamer but I don't see why something like this should end

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I've been in three of them. One lasted for about a year and a half, another a couple of months, and the latest, I dropped every thing I had, owned, and packed up and moved to another state just to be with her, and make it real. I'm in the process of trying to recover from the last, and rebuilding my life from scratch now.

Overall, when everything is said and done, in spite of the positives, such as having someone to talk to that cares about how your day is going and and the rest of the niceties,. The lack of physical contact alone, just doesn't trade off at all well. I think it would be far better to put that same effort into it, in finding someone locally. You are still dealing with the same relationship issues, regardless, but the make up aspects, far easier when there is a tactile ability.

I am grateful at least on one end, my heart needed to be stirred up, and she managed to do just that, which gave me incentive to start taking action in my life in better directions. But, it still hurts that it never panned out to anything in the real world.,

Long-Distance Relationships?

NEVER *******-EVER AGAIN.


you can quote me on that

tangerinedream said:

Long-Distance Relationships?

NEVER *******-EVER AGAIN.


you can quote me on that

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Requesting story time please

Long distance relationships are a lie. Basically you are saying that you do not love someone enough to change your life for them, and that you are not confident in your ability to meet someone else. Well that or you are saying that your mate will be fine as some kind of emotional tool while you mate with others on the side.

Either way it is a lie. If any long distance relationship goes on for more than two or three months then the relationship should be ended. The physical distance will put emotional distance between you.

To clarify, there are no exceptions to this rule. NONE!!!!

interesting comments....i'm involved in one right now and unsure what to think. there's that wistful yearning that it can work out.

AFrozenSoul said:

Long distance relationships are a lie. Basically you are saying that you do not love someone enough to change your life for them,

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This is very dependent on specific situations. For example in the long distance relationship I had, we both loved each other enough to move but due to financial and legal reasons it was impossible for either of us to move for 2 years. We knew that and because we loved each other so much we decided to wait rather than break up.

AFrozenSoul said:

and that you are not confident in your ability to meet someone else.

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This is true of ALL relationships. I am not confident in my ability to find someone else as good as my husband. And that is simply because he is so amazing. He understands me completely and I basically love everything about him. I really do not think there is another man out there who compares or who could compare and I don't really think that that is so wrong.

AFrozenSoul said:

Well that or you are saying that your mate will be fine as some kind of emotional tool while you mate with others on the side.

Either way it is a lie. If any long distance relationship goes on for more than two or three months then the relationship should be ended.

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edited: I am not really disturbed by your opinion here and it is fine that you think this way, but I think for most people it is different. When a person meets the right person, I think that even they will be willing to wait years to be with her/him.

AFrozenSoul said:

The physical distance will put emotional distance between you.

To clarify, there are no exceptions to this rule. NONE!!!!

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I think there are exceptions. But who knows? Maybe I am wrong.