Step 1: Admitting it

I've walked this earth for 21 years as an individual with no Y-chromosome. In other words, I'm a 21 year-old female.

Not sure how to start. I have so much to say and it's hard to know anyone from just an introduction. Essentially, I have denied myself from admitting that I feel alone. (Warning: this is really long)

Growing up, I always had friends to talk to and hang out with. But as the years went by, I began to feel like I really didn't belong anywhere. I got along fine with everyone, but that was the thing. I had a lot of shallow friendships and...NOBODY really knew me.

It never dawned on me until my high school crush threw those words at me, "I realized I don't really know you" ...we had known each other for a long time and been "talking" for at least a year. That's when I realized that, although I knew my extroverted friends very well, it didn't mean that they knew me, because I kept too much to myself. Now that I think of it ...even my ex didn't quite understand me.

I thought things would change in college. I thought I'd finally find my niche and meet that special someone. As my alter ego emerged, I embraced the party scene and went through my "wild" phase. I meet many fun people and many guys too.

Well, I've just finished four years of college and realized that I don't feel particularly close to any of the hundreds of people I have met during my time here (and, no, I did not make my friends at parties). During my last few semesters, I noticed that I did more and more things by myself. Nobody would call me anymore to hang out or eat lunch. I would just sit in my room bored out of my mind. Most weekends, I'd stay in and tell myself it's to get work done, but I end up wasting time trying to get rid of that feeling of emptiness. I don't mind doing things alone so much, but it's ridiculously BORING. I lose all motivation and inspiration to do anything. I can't even be a couch potato when I'm bored.

A few days ago, I was thinking, I've taken a job in a state, in which I have no friends or family...or anywhere nearby. In the past, I would have seen this as an adventurous chance to start over and meet new people. However, I feel incredibly lonely thinking about it. I will have no social life. I don't know how to start one outside of the academic world.

If things keep continuing on like this...I foresee that my future is going to be real lonely... I might lose my mind. Genetically, my chances are higher than average...

You have to take the risk of trusting someone to get rid of you loneliness and have a real connection with someone. Only then will you not feel lonely I think. You never let your ex in.

Hi. At least you know what the problem is. As SophiaGrace has said, you need to risk trusting someone to get past this. If you don't tell them about yourself, how can they know? That's my opinion anyway and, from what you've written, I think you already know this anyway.

Good luck.

If a 14 y.o teenage girl moving to a new school and don't know anyone there and very worried.

What advice would you give her ? Maybe you could think outside of the box.