Being a nerd seems like a turnoff to girls

My whole life I have been into alot of nerdery and I get the feeling that it is something that people (especially girls) get repelled by. I am 22 years old and I am still into hobbies such as Pump It Up ( a dance game similar to DDR) and the Yu-gi-oh TCG.

I go to public places and events with other people that are into my same interests. The only problem is that I have never had a girlfriend, and I get the feeling that its because of my hobbies. I do not want to be forced to hide my true self from other girls just to make a good impression. I want to be appreciated for who I really am.

Hi Brendans.

Being a "nerd" is not a turnoff at all. Not to all girls at least.

You mentioned that you go to public places and events of same interests. Are there any girls there that you can get to know?

You don't have to drop your hobbies, but consider expanding your roster of them.

i know exactly how you feel. i want more than anything to find a girl that is a fellow geek/nerd.

Find a fellow geeky or nerdy girl. There's plenty of us out there, despite the rumors that we're really fat, ugly men in our parent's basements!

I like geeky stuff, so I like geeky guys. As long as they aren't so hard core that they'll make fun of me or put me down for not knowing how to play D&D or because I never watched Battlestar Galactica.

I consider nerds to be the more intelligent type of geek though. I tend to shy away from nerds only because I'm insecure about my own intelligence. If someone if a math wiz, I might shy away because I know I'm horrible in math. But that doesn't mean I don't find them attractive, I'm just intimidated by their awesome brain power.

I like guys who are nerds. And honestly, us females are just as much nerds as any guy out there.

lone_drow said:

Hi Brendans.

Being a "nerd" is not a turnoff at all. Not to all girls at least.

You mentioned that you go to public places and events of same interests. Are there any girls there that you can get to know?

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Whenever I go to regional tournaments and championships, its a complete guyfest. I have only seen one girl at a yugioh regional tournament but she is already taken and lives hours away from me.

I never much got into yu-gi-oh. I watched maybe the first season of the anime, so I got highly interested for a while. I got a Yugi starter deck, sucked at the game, then quickly lost interest. The anime was pretty much a animated instruction booklet on how to play the game and I didn't have the money to keep adding onto my deck to be a decent player. Zzzz... I still have my starter deck though

Don't listen to them... there are no nerdy females. Nope, not a single nerdygirl on this site or anywhere else online, or anywhere out and about in the real world.

Where do you all hide?

I have a friend that plays video games and goes to Pokemon tournaments in her area. There are geeky girls out there, you just got to find one. I don't think girls are usually turned off by geeks or their hobbies, I think it's more of the awkward demeanor that comes with the introverted behavior of many nerds. A lot of nerdy guys seem to let themselves get stereotyped, and then become afraid of girls, and that's what girls don't like. Just be confident, outgoing, and proud of yourself, and maybe you'll meet a girl that has the same interests as you do.

It depends on the kind of female you go for. I guess geeky/nerdy females exist... I see them at anime conventions. However, most of them have dragged their normal boyfriend along with them.

I think one problem is that so many men let being a geek/nerd be their life. Not just a part of their life. You are defined by what you like not by who you want to be. I am pretty sure that turns most females off. There is a very fine line between obsession and passion.

Being good at pump will help you more than you know. I have only seen pump it up in bars really. I always see cute females playing pump. Pump does not have the negative stigma that DDR does. So next time you see someone playing ask if you can play with them. If you own them smile be confident and you might get some looks.

I guess my overall message is find balance. You enjoy your hobbies however they do not define you. At least that is what I am told.

Limlim said:

Where do you all hide?

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I'm not a female, but I'm still a nerd, so I'll try answering that.

Take into account that on the internet everyone is a fat, unattractive, hairy and old male sitting at the computer on their parents basement or something.
Since there are no girls on the internet (nerdy or otherwise), for nerdy girls you need to go around knocking on doors, ringing bells and searching inside the houses to find them

Now a bit more seriously, one day I asked myself the same thing: "Where the heck are female nerds hidden at?", my conclusion was that the female nerds are normally at the same place as the male nerds. That is normally one of the following two: at work or at home (and sometimes on any other point of interest they decide to visit ).
One place you can find both male and female nerds is on the internet, but then, many of the females simply pretend to be males (this is especially true in online games).
Also take into account that many females consider anything even remotely "non-mainstream" to be nerdy and proclaim themselves as nerdy at the slightest thing.

*edit*
How delightful, I made a post devoid of the slightest trace of usefulness.
Adding "generic almost useful remark"...below:
So...yeah...search for them online (e.g. online games, forums, etc.), at least by logic it seems to be the best bet.

Is finding us really the issue, or is it trying to figure out what to do once you spot us?

'Cause I assure you that I go to the comic book store. I can be found in the RPG book aisle at the book store or library. I attend various events. I look at stuff at Gamestop. You know what happens? Guys kind of twitch as they realize a female has entered. Guys immediately look anywhere BUT at the female. Sometimes, guys even slowly ease out of the female's space... providing her several feet of solitude.

As for online... I very rarely get messages on okcupid. Even if I initiate communication with somebody, there's just nothing in return. If I talk to somebody while gaming, he either doesn't respond or he's kind of a jerk.

Hmm. Maybe I just don't realize it, but I'm really hideous.

you are right nerdygirl. i think most nerd guys are very shy. i know i am. if an awesome nerdy girl came on to me i would have no idea what to do. i would immediately become very quiet and shy.

brendans1989 said:

Whenever I go to regional tournaments and championships, its a complete guyfest. I have only seen one girl at a yugioh regional tournament but she is already taken and lives hours away from me.

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Try Blizzcon? Don't give up just yet.

Limlim said:

Where do you all hide?

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They are hiding here I think...

edgecrusher said:

you are right nerdygirl. i think most nerd guys are very shy. i know i am. if an awesome nerdy girl came on to me i would have no idea what to do. i would immediately become very quiet and shy.

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Edge, some girls would find that quite endearing. Not every girl wants to be around a loud, boisterous guy who only talks about himself all day.

Oh, edgecrusher... for a shy person, you handle all of my hugs beautifully. Even the slightly disturbing ones.

There's nothing wrong with shy guys. I think shy can be very cute... but at the same time, it's a little frustrating. I mean, if we cannot overcome the shyness of nerds, only the fools will procreate. Oh, wait. That is already happening.

In my experience, girls are fine with geeky guys as long as it's not all he does/thinks about and if he is not too shy. A lot of nerds are insanely shy, to the point of not knowing how to act around women. They don't show the confidence that women love a lot of times. Some are even scared of developing a relationship with a woman (never had it/don't know what to do).

I myself am a nerd/geek and most of the few friends I had were as well. This is from my own personal experience:

I have seen many nerds/geeks get girlfriends and even get married. Many times, the girlfriend will even become involved in their boyfriend's hobbies (yes, I've seen someone's girlfriend playing Yu-gi-oh cards). ^^; Also, at anime conventions, I've seen nerdy guys with girls who have even taken up cosplaying (dressing like anime characters). So, there are girls out there who like the shy nerdy guys - well, at least the ones who are not too shy and nerdy. The amount of social skills a guy has and comfort level with relationships play into this as well. ^^;

I'm actually attracted to nerds. All the guys I've had crushes on have been super nerdy. One of them was so nerdy that he carried around philosiphy books with him everywhere, even in PE. I used to play Yu gi oh. I like shy guys, but I don't really know what to do with guys either, if it makes you feel better! I used to be a hardcore anime fan, but I grew out of it. hahahaha I think it's adorable when guys like comics and anime. I know a guy who dates one of my friends who is really pretty, and has a LOT of guys after her all the time, and he's super into comic books, and even got her to read some. She even got him some rare super man one for their 1/2 year anniversary, which I thought was cute. ^_^ So there are plenty of nerd success stories out there!

I love nerds!