I'm Invisible

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somber_radiance

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Most people don't notice me.
I'm easily forgotten.
I have horrible self-esteem.
I never feel good enough.
I think everyone is disappointed in me.
I believe I have inherited a curse to a life of disappointment and unhappiness.
The list can go on....

It's just a vicious cycle of feeling ignored, then feeling bad and drawing more inward/having less to say. I'm told I don't open up/talk enough, but when I do, people don't listen and if they do, they soon forget the heart to heart conversations. I believe people in my class think I'm stupid because I'm not at the top anymore, like I was in high school. That too makes me less likely to be social. Nowadays, I hang out with my friends and go out to distract myself. Four years of meeting people and I still never feel like I belong anywhere. Once I am alone, the tears start flowing again.

I think my shyness and my low self-esteem weigh down and hide the real me. On the other hand, I have an alter-ego that I consider a borderline slut...the kind that likes to party and make out with random guys. I don't like that either. I want to find a happy in-between. I'm so tired of being a wallflower. I want to be wanted and loved. The only people who ever call me are my parents...I wish more people cared.

I pretend I'm fine and that I'm a-okay with being single. But I hate my life and I would love to find that special someone to share my life with (when my life becomes awesomer). He doesn't have to be the one. Seriously...in the most simple sense, I just want a best friend.

Does anyone else feel this way/have a similar experience? And how do you deal with it?
 
makes me feel bad when im out with people and i should be having a fun time but i just feel lonely and sad.
it hits even harder when im alone at home again afterworths.

i gues were all looking for a special friend to share things with.
it seems to be easyer to connect with people when your feeling better and happier.
which adds to the cycle again.

im not really sure what to do about it, im just trying to be as "happy" as i can be and not to worry about it to much.
trying to fix the things i know that make me unhappy.

i havent tryed making out with random guys yet but im not planning to either :p

all i can really say is your not invisible and your not the onely one that feels this way.



 
I feel invisible all the time. It sucks. On facebook I would comment/question on someones wall and they wouldn't respond to me, but to other comments on the same post. This is partly why I'm here on this message board. For me, invisible leads to loneliness then to depression.

I hope to find my way.

I got a quote today from TUT.
Think of the one area of life that brings you the most discomfort, Kathy, and that's where you're ripe for growth.

Then I better start growing.
 
Kathy said:
I feel invisible all the time. It sucks. On facebook I would comment/question on someones wall and they wouldn't respond to me, but to other comments on the same post. This is partly why I'm here on this message board. For me, invisible leads to loneliness then to depression.

I hope to find my way.

I got a quote today from TUT.
Think of the one area of life that brings you the most discomfort, Kathy, and that's where you're ripe for growth.

Then I better start growing.

That quote makes a lot of sense. Growth can only happen in "problem" areas, aka areas that make one uncomfortable. So I guess we could look at the bright side and say we've got so much potential!
Thank you for your response! You're not invisible to me :)


paulo said:
makes me feel bad when im out with people and i should be having a fun time but i just feel lonely and sad.
it hits even harder when im alone at home again afterworths.

i gues were all looking for a special friend to share things with.
it seems to be easyer to connect with people when your feeling better and happier.
which adds to the cycle again.

im not really sure what to do about it, im just trying to be as "happy" as i can be and not to worry about it to much.
trying to fix the things i know that make me unhappy.

i havent tryed making out with random guys yet but im not planning to either :p

all i can really say is your not invisible and your not the onely one that feels this way.

That is so true, what you say about being happy. The only time I am social/feel like myself is when I am high with happiness. It's also when I make the most acquaintances, but most of those "friendships" are quite fleeting. Maybe cuz we're often "happy with alcohol" during such moments...and I'm the only one that doesn't drink so much that I forget the night.
 
Somber_Radiance,

You're not invisible to me either.

I discussed the quote with my counselor today. Yep, I'm ready for lots of growth. ; )
 
I guess Im invisible too

A lot of times even when Im with people, they often ignore me completely or are closer with each other and I end up playing third wheel.

When Im depressed or lonely (which isnt uncommon) Ill post about it on facebook, and rarely will anyone try to help, but whenever someone else posts about being sad, theres 50 comments of people saying how much they love them
 
How I deal with being invisible is by not thinking/analyzing my life too much. I also avoid places where there are tons of happy couples (movie theaters, family restaurants), but when I do see them, I try not to compare my life to theirs.

Actually, what works even better then that (for me), is by tricking myself into believing that relationships were never for me. As if they were forbidden and that I'll just have to coupe with it. Granted, this train of thought would probably only work if you've never had a relationship. You don't miss what you've never had.

These things might not work for you, but they keep me going...
 
You're not alone. Like others here, I know the feeling of being invisible. I wish I had some words of sage advice to offer but I don't. Just the knowledge that you're not alone. And you're not invisible. *hugs*
 
Make out with random guys? Hell yea! Let's be friends :D

Actually I feel the exact same way as you, I end up relying on my ********* alter persona just to be noticed even if it's in a negative light. I figure it's better to be remembered as notorious rather than nothing. All this has done is further isolate me and when I do meet someone I'm interested in I hear, "well I do want to talk to you but my friend saw you at ______ and she said you're a total _______.

As of last week I'm just not going to try to talk or invite women out anymore, it's just too heartbreaking. I don't like it but I'm just going to aim at being single and rebuilding myself, my life and my mentality.
 
Have you seen my thread with the title
TO SEE THE INVISIBLE MAN
It's a short video from the twilight zone
 
somber_radiance said:
Most people don't notice me.
I'm easily forgotten.
I have horrible self-esteem.
I never feel good enough.
I think everyone is disappointed in me.
I believe I have inherited a curse to a life of disappointment and unhappiness.
The list can go on....

It's just a vicious cycle of feeling ignored, then feeling bad and drawing more inward/having less to say. I'm told I don't open up/talk enough, but when I do, people don't listen and if they do, they soon forget the heart to heart conversations. I believe people in my class think I'm stupid because I'm not at the top anymore, like I was in high school. That too makes me less likely to be social. Nowadays, I hang out with my friends and go out to distract myself. Four years of meeting people and I still never feel like I belong anywhere. Once I am alone, the tears start flowing again.

I think my shyness and my low self-esteem weigh down and hide the real me. On the other hand, I have an alter-ego that I consider a borderline slut...the kind that likes to party and make out with random guys. I don't like that either. I want to find a happy in-between. I'm so tired of being a wallflower. I want to be wanted and loved. The only people who ever call me are my parents...I wish more people cared.

I pretend I'm fine and that I'm a-okay with being single. But I hate my life and I would love to find that special someone to share my life with (when my life becomes awesomer). He doesn't have to be the one. Seriously...in the most simple sense, I just want a best friend.

Does anyone else feel this way/have a similar experience? And how do you deal with it?

Dont worry your not on your own. ''I believe I have inherited a curse to a life of disappointment and unhappiness.'' When I look at my brother who has everything i think this everyday.
 
I think you've started on the right path by wanting the right things:- Friendship, self-respect and respect of others.
I too suffer from low self esteem, I am very shy; but i have worked on these issues and am eventually reaping the benefits now! It takes time so please be patient.
I also have pretended to be happy being alone. I realise now what a mistake this was. I think we all need help, need to let people into our lives, to accept help from them and to give help and friendship, even if those people are different from us.
 
I know how it feels :(
I experienced this too, this kind of feeling can really bring you down.

Everyone wants to be loved and cared for, it's just a natural need of the human nature and when that need isn't satisfied depression comes ...

I hope it will get better for you and for all the other people in your situation.

You're not invisible to me :)
Be strong !

 
Funny how we seem like ghosts sometimes. The rest of the world can't seem to see us, but we can see each other. We've all seen it...ever see someone out randomly and think "He/she probably needs a friend". The stupid thing (at least for me) is that too often I won't even TRY to talk to them. We shouldn't be so dismissive, give each other a shot.

You'd think us ghosts would at least befriend each other! What's wrong with us?!?
 
grainofrice24 said:
Funny how we seem like ghosts sometimes. The rest of the world can't seem to see us, but we can see each other. We've all seen it...ever see someone out randomly and think "He/she probably needs a friend". The stupid thing (at least for me) is that too often I won't even TRY to talk to them. We shouldn't be so dismissive, give each other a shot.

You'd think us ghosts would at least befriend each other! What's wrong with us?!?

I think it takes courage to speak to someone who seems unhappy. Maybe we are scared of 'catching' this unhappiness - silly I know. But you are right grainofrice, we should try harder to reach out to people, it's hard but I'm trying. :(
 
I think you're beating up yourself with your expectations. happiness comes with the cost of your expectations-to-satisfactions.
Stay positive and take all ease on yourself and this matter. Take small steps, the simple communication you keep with a circle of friends/co-workers.

dont beat yourself up. and take it easy please. .. wish you the best somber ;)
 
well Im invisible too

A lot of times even when Im with friends i always end up playing third wheel. and that just makes feel like why am i here am i not worthy enough to talk to

When Im depressed or lonely which is most of the time Ill post about it on facebook, and rarely will i get a comment or anyone try to help, but whenever someone else posts about being sad, there's more comments of people offer their help or if you need me feel free to call or in box me,

Just like today i just posted this "How can I feel so alone and yet I am surrounded by people? How can I have no one to talk to and yet I speak to people every day? I am here, but I am invisible" and no comment nothing, and like when my birthday came around i would get a lot of birthdays wishes but not this years birthday i got maybe a total of 5 birthday wishes and those who wished me happy birthday pretty much came at the end of the day when it was bed time or the next day...

So i'm with each and everyone of you on this site being visible is pretty much a fixture on me i'm here but in others eyes i'm not
 
Yeah i know exactly ow you feel. It really sucks being in a room full of people, you look around and see everyone else having a good time talking and then there's me. I'm not saying im that guy in the corner who is completely alone, i do talk to some people but i feel as if i left the room no one would care, or notice, its weird. I guess im like you though, i just want a best friend, someone who understands me and cares about our friendship.
 
I've felt like this all my life, get talked over in conversations, get ignored on Facebook, feel alone in a crowd. I learned to keep to myself and that if they don't have any time for me, why should I have any time for them? If someone doesn't value my input, or my care, why care about them?
 
Just want to point out a few things you said boxer, just the parts where maybe if you see just that and reread it you'll see it for yourself.

boxerguy01 said:
When Im depressed or lonely which is most of the time Ill post about it on facebook, and rarely will i get a comment or anyone try to help, but whenever someone else posts about being sad, there's more comments of people offer their help or if you need me feel free to call or in box me,

Just like today i just posted this "How can I feel so alone and yet I am surrounded by people? How can I have no one to talk to and yet I speak to people every day? I am here, but I am invisible"

Do you see? If not let me explain something to you, because I've seen this and been through this. When all people see is how someone is always commenting about how sad and alone they are, and as you admitted you do it when you feel that way which is most of the time, they tend to do something like this...

:rolleyes: "here we go again"

It's not that they don't care but after awhile of it always being the same thing people tend to just block it out, they tend to see it as you being "dramatic" and attention seeking. Most of the time people will put up with that for awhile, then they will just ignore it. A lot of times when we feel the way you do it's hard to realize it. I have a cousin who regularly posts about how his life sucks and there are many times people won't even comment. I haven't. I know exactly how he feels but he goes on about so much. There's another thread on here about how we make our own hell, this is one of the ways we do it. By alienating people without even realizing what we are doing.

My suggestion to you is to stop using Facebook to post those kinds of messages. Instead, contact someone and ask if they want to hang out, don't go into "I'm so sad and alone" because that will turn someone away. It's hard not to but you can't over burden people, those who don't quite get it can't deal with it all the time.

I'd suggest you read over your timeline of updates with eyes looking on the outside, pretend you are reading someone else posts. If you can do it objectively you might understand what I'm trying to explain to you. If not you'll probably say you see someone who needs a friend and you'd always reach out to them. That's the wrong answer though if you do. Because believe me, I always wanted to help others, but after awhile it gets to you, it really, really gets to you. At some point you just can't take it anymore. You either start to push that person aside or ignore the "drama" It's made me keep things to myself or only tell very few people, I never post about it on Facebook. I get in honeysuckle when some find out and I've never said anything, but I did so because I don't want to be seen as the "drama" person all the time. The one people are afraid to talk to because all they hear is "woe is me" when it's not intended that way. That's why this forum is good, you can come here and vent to get it out from people who kind of get where you are coming from.

I did say all that to make you feel worse, just want to open your eyes a little so you might see how your behaviour affects your life and those around you.
 

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