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cumulus.james

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I have been skulking about this forum for a while now. And I get the impression that many of the people on here have no clue what it is like to be truly alone.

I am alone. I have never not been alone. I have never had anyone speak of me affectionately, I have never ever been held in anyone’s arms and I have never had a partner. It is almost guaranteed that I will never have any of those things. At 30 I sit in a room alone, I wonder about the town alone and I am terrified at night by the thoughts that I am halfway to death and have never ever lived.

Don’t come on here p***ing and moaning hat you don’t have enough friends or people don’t like your hair. Spare a thought for the losers and freaks of this world like me. I never had a friend, I never had a partner and I have no family. I am pig ugly and could not have less self confidence or self esteem if I tried.

I am worthless and without purpose. It has always been thus and theres not a **** thing I can do to change that. The people who have been posting on here lately have so much going on in their life’s that I would give my arm for just a fraction of what they have.

You guys don’t have a clue about loneliness and the pain it causes.
 
I'm sorry for what you've been through, but honestly, who are you to decide what the people of this forum (me included) are going through and how we feel. Yes, I've had affection in my life, I have/had a husband and I have children... but my husband left me 2 years ago.
Yes, I have/had friends that care about me, but not ONE of them live here.

We all have our problems, we all have our limits. It's not your job or anyone else's job to come on here and judge us for what we can or can't handle, for what we go through everyday. Yes, you can read what is posted, but who says that's the whole story. I haven't posted my entire story anywhere on this forum, nor does anyone except myself and my husband know my entire story and it will stay that way.

You have no right to judge any one of us and by this thread, that is what you are doing. And I don't believe for one second that there's NOTHING you can do to change your situation. That's on you, no one else. If people want something, they have to work for it, strive for it. Not give up cuz you don't see any other way.
 
Callie said:
I'm sorry for what you've been through, but honestly, who are you to decide what the people of this forum (me included) are going through and how we feel. Yes, I've had affection in my life, I have/had a husband and I have children... but my husband left me 2 years ago.
Yes, I have/had friends that care about me, but not ONE of them live here.

We all have our problems, we all have our limits. It's not your job or anyone else's job to come on here and judge us for what we can or can't handle, for what we go through everyday. Yes, you can read what is posted, but who says that's the whole story. I haven't posted my entire story anywhere on this forum, nor does anyone except myself and my husband know my entire story and it will stay that way.

You have no right to judge any one of us and by this thread, that is what you are doing. And I don't believe for one second that there's NOTHING you can do to change your situation. That's on you, no one else. If people want something, they have to work for it, strive for it. Not give up cuz you don't see any other way.

I don’t mean to judge. Its just I have so far not seen one person who knows what loneliness means on here yet. I spoke to a couple of people for a long time privately and gradually it was revealed that they have friends, lovers, careers, passions and more than anything family. In addition to that there seems to be a lot of posts from emo 16 yr olds pissing and moaning.

I have nothing. Never have and never will and I hoped to find someone on this forum. I just want to find someone who feels the hurt of it all. Someone who is without hope as I am. Support for people who feel awkward about themselves is great, but this forum should be about people who are genuinely alone, scarred and hurt.
 
Who says those "emo 16 yr olds" aren't genuinely scared?
This forum is for everyone who feels lonely, no one can decide what deems "lonely" for any person, but themselves. I live within 12 miles of my ENTIRE family, doesn't mean I see them, doesn't mean they care about me.

I'm sorry, but if you have nothing, that's no one's fault but your own. If you choose to stay that way and don't TRY to make your life "better" or "more fulfilled" than that is also no one's fault but your own. And don't bother putting your age out there cuz I'm 30 too and I have to start my life over with NOTHING and NO ONE, except for one or two friends who live thousands of miles away and I've never actually met before. But ya know what, I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna sit around my house feeling sorry for myself and judging others because it's too hard or I'm too old to get a better life. The ONLY time it's too late or too hard is when you're dead. ANY time before that, I don't care if you're 15, 30 or 80, it's fair game, if you want it, GO GET IT.
 
Callie said:
Who says those "emo 16 yr olds" aren't genuinely scared?
This forum is for everyone who feels lonely, no one can decide what deems "lonely" for any person, but themselves. I live within 12 miles of my ENTIRE family, doesn't mean I see them, doesn't mean they care about me.

I'm sorry, but if you have nothing, that's no one's fault but your own. If you choose to stay that way and don't TRY to make your life "better" or "more fulfilled" than that is also no one's fault but your own. And don't bother putting your age out there cuz I'm 30 too and I have to start my life over with NOTHING and NO ONE, except for one or two friends who live thousands of miles away and I've never actually met before. But ya know what, I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna sit around my house feeling sorry for myself and judging others because it's too hard or I'm too old to get a better life. The ONLY time it's too late or too hard is when you're dead. ANY time before that, I don't care if you're 15, 30 or 80, it's fair game, if you want it, GO GET IT.

Those are the words of someone who does not understand true lonliness.
 
Perhaps, but YOUR words are just merely excuses about your life and why nothing will ever come of it.

It's not about knowing TRUE anything, it's about the fact that I'm not gonna roll over and die just because of the circumstances of my past. I'm gonna fight for what I want. But ya know what? Doesn't mean I'm not scared as HELL that I won't succeed, but I'll never stop trying. I never have been and never will a quitter. Life isn't going to hand you what you want, you have to fight for it. You have to go around obstacles. Don't make excuses for what your life is, if you don't like it, change it.

That says NOTHING other than the fact that people who truly, sincerely want something, keep trying, even if they fail every time.
 
cumulus.james said:
Support for people who feel awkward about themselves is great, but this forum should be about people who are genuinely alone, scarred and hurt.
Who are you to say what this forum should or shouldn't be about James? If you don't like the way things are here then make your own forum and only allow the 'truly lonely' to join. Your posts sound just as much like emo pissing and moaning as anyone else here.

 
I am worthless and without purpose. It has always been thus and theres not a **** thing I can do to change that.

Why can't you change it? Is there a real reason or is it all ego?

The people who have been posting on here lately have so much going on in their life’s that I would give my arm for just a fraction of what they have.

It's because they are actively trying to change their situation for the better despite their loneliness. Most people don't like being lonely.

You guys don’t have a clue about loneliness and the pain it causes.

I'm pretty sure a lot of us do. That is why we are here. Usually people try to avoid pain. If your pain was that bad I'm sure you wouldn't have given up on changing for the better.
 
*hugs cumulus.james*

I'm sorry your life hasn't been too great

but loneliness is an emotion that everyone has felt, life is difficult, and I'm starting to realize that everyone no matter how great they're life seems has and will feel a deep pain of loneliness in their life just as everyone has and will feel happiness or sadness. Some are fortunate enough for these times to be brief unfortunately others are not so lucky.

16 year olds i think have plenty of reason to pissed, 16 was hell for me, teenagers have to start deal with grown up issues, love heartbreak, hormones, only they have no experience as how to deal with these issues because they have yet to fully mature. 16 is an age of being lost.

But the point is you're still young and your life isn't over yet,

Loneliness is a when we can truly see ourselves and self reflect, in our loneliness we learn the extent of our strength and truly know ourselves, and I believe in this end this makes us better people, and without the lessons of loneliness we our blind to ourselves and the world.

You can make it through this

*hugs*

:)
 
cumulus.james said:
I have been skulking about this forum for a while now. And I get the impression that many of the people on here have no clue what it is like to be truly alone.

I am alone. I have never not been alone. I have never had anyone speak of me affectionately, I have never ever been held in anyone’s arms and I have never had a partner. It is almost guaranteed that I will never have any of those things. At 30 I sit in a room alone, I wonder about the town alone and I am terrified at night by the thoughts that I am halfway to death and have never ever lived.

Don’t come on here p***ing and moaning hat you don’t have enough friends or people don’t like your hair. Spare a thought for the losers and freaks of this world like me. I never had a friend, I never had a partner and I have no family. I am pig ugly and could not have less self confidence or self esteem if I tried.

I am worthless and without purpose. It has always been thus and theres not a **** thing I can do to change that. The people who have been posting on here lately have so much going on in their life’s that I would give my arm for just a fraction of what they have.

You guys don’t have a clue about loneliness and the pain it causes.

I agree with you on here. I know we all see, act and think differently, but I agree quite a few people on here don't realize how lucky they are.
 
i know loneliness. i've spent most of my adult life with a wife and kids. now i'm divorced and alone. i know what loneliness is because i know what it is not to be lonely. losing someone you love can make you feel very alone. i didn't just lose my relationship with my wife. i also lost a dozen or so other relationships. some of them were very close. it's a huge change for me. i have sorrow, but i spend much of my time bettering myself. i'm moving on. i still have people in my life, but i'm still lonely.

being here has helped me. mostly i just play the games, but for me that's usually all i need. i'm not looking for a pity party, so i mostly interface with people that are upbeat.

i think most everyone here has been through some bad times. maybe worst times than you have experienced. you just don't know.

if you want a better life, you have to make that happen. it's the same scenario we all live with.
 
cumulus.james said:
I don’t mean to judge. Its just I have so far not seen one person who knows what loneliness means on here yet. I spoke to a couple of people for a long time privately and gradually it was revealed that they have friends, lovers, careers, passions and more than anything family. In addition to that there seems to be a lot of posts from emo 16 yr olds pissing and moaning.

You don't know what others feel. You can't speak for them. Just because it's not your definition of being lonely, doesn't mean that it's not being lonely. And just because people have friends and careers and lovers doesn't mean they aren't lonely. There are plenty of married people, or people in relationships, with jobs, who feel lonely. So, that's not for you to judge who is or isn't lonely, just because it doesn't fit your standard.
 
Darkness said:
but I agree quite a few people on here don't realize how lucky they are.

Does it make you both feel better to come onto to this site and condescend to those who have their honeysuckle together enough to build something decent out of their life's? I didn't realize there was a raffle I could enter that would give me a partner or family and friends I could trust in. That would be true "luck".

Everyone on this site has worked for what they have. From what I can tell, James has the same insecurities as that 16 year old kid who was just here looking for the wisdom of people who have felt the same as he has. Who's more mature?

There are 6 billion people on this planet. Get out of your chair and go find someone. Have the guts to actually try and find someone instead of bashing those that have done something with their life's. You're fooling yourself if you think 30 is too late.
 
Hi James. I'm sorry that you feel so bad but there are different ways of feeling alone, none of which are any less valid than yours.

You've never had someone, and naturally want what you have never had. There are others here who have loved and lost and wish they'd never loved so they wouldn't have to live with the memory of what they no longer have.

I'm one of the ones that's married (and have a child). I've felt someone's arms around me and had them tell me that they love me. I've also had them scream and shout at me that they hate me, that I'm stupid, pathetic and other words that I won't go into - something you've never experienced apparently and so can't know how alone that can make you feel.

We each have our pain, it's why we're here. And no matter how much we may empathise or sympathise with others, it's our own pain that cuts deepest into our souls. It is inevitable. At least here we can try and give some small measure of comfort to others - and yes, that includes you.

*hugs* I hope you get what you need to make you happy (and no, 30 is not too late, it can still happen.)
 
I'm sorry to hear you feel that way but actually you say there is nothing you can do about it but I've not read you say that you want to. Do you?? There is always something but it takes a great deal of courage to pick yourself up and do something about it.

Yes I am pretty and I have friends and family and even a boyfriend and a housemate. But let me tell sitting in a room with a boyfriend who takes more interest in the housemates hobbies than mine - well I may as well be on an undiscovered island all alone. We all feel different.

So do you wanna do something about your loneliness? Can I help in any way?
 
I live over 200 kilometers away from my family, I have no friends where I live now and I've lived here for 6 years now. The only people I've socialized with over those years were my co-workers (which now I only have a 16 year old employee) and my customers. Any of them can tell you there are times I will talk their heads off if they strike up a conversation with me. There isn't much to do in this small town, and even when things are going on I'm much too scared to go out by myself. I haven't had a meaningful relationship because of trust issues.

I sit at home in my tiny one bedroom apartment and go on the internet and watch tv. I have my hobbies to keep my occupied and those I do alone. The only conversation I get is on sites like this or YIM with my brother or on Facebook, which I rarely do because I don't want to bother people. I don't talk about things with my brother because he is so self centered, we only chat about the tv shows we're watching. Every single weekend I go to my mothers, even though I only get to spend one night there because I work 6 days a week right now. In 6 years there is only one weekend I didn't go home. I will even brave snow storms unless the roads are closed to go visit.

When I'm at home I will listen in on peoples conversations in the halls just to hear other voices.

Now tell me I don't know what being alone is like. How scared you feel.
 
I can kind of agree with you. I feel some people on here do not understand. Mainly those who have a lover and complain about how unworthy they are or how the relationship seems to be in decline. That is not lonely in my opinion.

However, that is just my opinion. Personally I would love to be in an empty relationship. That is better than no one right. At the same time I have to accept the pit falls of my gender, and the consequences of my inaction.

You can say you are alone, but do you even try?. Do you see that female you want to cum in and pursue her? Do you try and meet new people and get to know them? Do you leave your room? Or do you seek solace on the net?

I am on a self-improvement plan. It is hard to commit, Sometimes I need to cry. I find solace here. I won't lie in come here seeking sympathy and support... And other things I am not going to mention. It does not matter if a person is not lonely in my eyes. They understand the feeling and can give me comfort. It is not a contest, it is about helping each other.
 
By op's logic nobody here has a problem! When you look at the big picture there are people around the world who are starving, repressed by their governments and tortured by their countries. Earthquakes, volcano eruptions, hurricanes and what not. We all have to be glad, because in a state of true misery you won't even think about psychological problems, because you'll trust only your instincts in a struggle to survive until the next day.

I think every single person who came to this message board has a problem and needs to share it. To get the load of his back. It doesn't matter if he has someone next to him or he is completely alone. The times I have felt the most crushing loneliness in my life I was surrounded by people. Face it, we all have different perceptions for the world around us and we need to respect the problems that others might have. You can't ask for help if you're not willing to help others.
 
I'm not surprised you don't have any friends. Unlike the vast majority of the people on this board, you sound like a very nasty person. The only person to blame for your predicament is yourself.
 
cumulus.james said:
I don’t mean to judge. Its just I have so far not seen one person who knows what loneliness means on here yet. | In addition to that there seems to be a lot of posts from emo 16 yr olds pissing and moaning.

The fact you've brought age into this rather irritates me. Loneliness and pain know bounds, they don't discriminate based on age. The definition of loneliness is something that varies from person to person, and either way, it hurts them in ways that nothing else can, it doesn't matter what their reason is, it doesn't matter how old they are, no matter what, that pain can strike a person to their core. So up until now, you havn't met somebody here on the forums who shares your definition, not of loneliness, but of the cause of that pain. I can tell you, just because they do have family, passions, lovers, wealth, doesn't mean they can't be lonely for their own reasons.

AFrozenSoul said:
However, that is just my opinion. Personally I would love to be in an empty relationship. That is better than no one right. At the same time I have to accept the pit falls of my gender, and the consequences of my inaction.

You can say you are alone, but do you even try?. Do you see that female you want to cum in and pursue her? Do you try and meet new people and get to know them? Do you leave your room? Or do you seek solace on the net?

Well, honestly, it's not always a sexual thing. Loneliness is not "oh no, I can't get laid". My definition of loneliness is the need for a deeper emotional connection with somebody in a relationship, one that's based on them as a person, and not their body. That any sex at all should be a means of communicating your love of somebody, not merely a physical gesture, but rather a way of connecting on a deeper, more intimate level. It's not that a person doesn't try, you can try all you want, but if you can't find anybody who reciprocates those feelings of love and attraction toward you, then it can seriously cause somebody incredible suffering and anguish. This can easily lead to loss of hope and despair.
 

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