Constant rejection has made me lonely...

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S

some girl

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It may be something about me. I don't really know. But as long as I can remember, I've always been rejected by everyone around me. I've helped everyone with many things, joined clubs, and never asked for anything in return. Yet I can't say I have any real friends. Whenever I go somewhere or do something good, no one notices, or expects one thousand times better from me. Frankly, I can't take it any longer. I've tried confiding in some 'friends' and family, but, they assume since I don't have any physical problems or that I live 'freely', that nothing could ever be wrong in my life and that what I'm selfish for wanting to be treated like a human being. Or they suggest that something's wrong with my brain, not knowing that they've caused whatever's wrong.
This has recently caused me to become a loner, not talking to anyone. But even so, I don't let anyone know anything know that anything's wrong by constantly smiling.
I don't want to hurt anyone or make them worry, but I'm tired of holding everything in. What should I do at this point?
 
I feel you. I don't think I can say what you should exactly do at this point. But you can list out the options you have on how you wanna deal with this and from there, perhaps, we can help.
If you don't know, i think the first thing that's good is always to let it out, don't hold everything in for too long. You can do it here first for a start. :)
 
I personally don't have any ideas, because I've tried everything I could think of. But I know the starting point is usually letting it out, and that's why I did so here, because, as I said before, the people I've tried to confide in in real life can't understand how I feel.
 
some girl said:
I personally don't have any ideas, because I've tried everything I could think of. But I know the starting point is usually letting it out, and that's why I did so here, because, as I said before, the people I've tried to confide in in real life can't understand how I feel.
Well if I was you, I wouldn't hide away from it, that's only going to make matters worse in the future. Try to face whaterever is bothering you, and keep trying, and I'm quite sure that not everyone is going to reject you, or not recognize the positive things you do for people. Sounds to me that you really need to talk this one out, have you every thought of getting some counseling on the matter.
 
You may want to consult a therapist or counsellor.

Also, perhaps you are looking for friendship with the wrong types of people. Some groups of people can be very exclusive.
Can you think of any new or unfamiliar people who you have been avoiding or afraid to be friends with? Perhaps that's where you should try to find your friends.

I had a friend who was very lonely, but she was always trying to be friends with snobby people. Naturally, the snobs weren't very nice to her and she got rejected by them a lot.
Meanwhile, she missed out on making friends with a lot of non-snobby or even modest or
shy people that were around her.
 
The sad reality 'Some girl' is that the more we feel rejected the more we have tendencies to isolate ourselves because we can't take rejection anymore and we try to save whatever dignity we are left with. Let's face it, people don't give a hoot about other who are having problems. I used to complain about my life all the time not because I am a negative person it was just my way of reaching out to people. letting them know in many words that I need them.

Of course people will never tell you that there is something wrong with you, it is just their way to tell you that they are not interrested in hearing it. I learned this long time ago and I came to a conclusion that only you can fix your problem, not anybody else.

After many years of deep soul searching I came to a conclusion in which I was not very conviced at first but the more I think and analyze it the more I become that my conclusion is right. The question I often asked myself was: "Why am I being rejected" the answer came in two words: "Social status" I simply do not have a social status which enables me to be , sometimes and not often, the center of attention to gain people's respect. What I mean with social status is not being single or married but in a way having something of a value, whether material or intellecual, which people feel that they can obtain by simple associating themseleves with me. One example; when I was younger I used to be a disk jockey and since everybody wanted to be a friend with a disk jockey I had more people buzzing arround me like bees. I was the center of attention. Today and since I have lost my disk jockey status I became inivisble, but what can I do regain my social status? Simply put rebuild it again. Acquire something that people would appreciated and in concequence would want to gain by association, aka becoming friends with you. In gravitational theories i believe there is something called...humm inertia! when a mass or a body gains the gravitational pull and energy of it's containing body? Todays society is like and inertia...

I for once am working very hard to acquire my social status by investing in dancing lessons. My wish is to become a professional dancer even at age of 35 so that when I walk in into a club, or assist in some kind of an dancing event , people would perceive at me as THE DANCER and would want to stick with me to add my status to their own.


I know that it is a long shot and that I will be having more difficult days before I reach my goal, but I don't seem to have much choices. Either this or die alone!

May I suggest that you find yourself something which enables you to gain social status so that people would want to associate themselves with you and not the other way arround?

These were my two cents.
Cheers
 

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