any advice?

hey guys, I guess from the thread title you can guess what I'm looking for here, but I'll try to keep it short.
Right, I've been single for a year now, after breaking up with my girlfriend of five years (it was a disaster) and I've been pretty consistently lonely since, with long instances of just feeling hopelessly lonely, thinking it will be like this forever etc.

however, a few weeks ago I came to university and have started meeting tonnes of new people, but there is this one girl in particular who I really really like already, after only a couple of weeks. We seemed to hit it off straight away and spent a lot of time together, etc
The only problem is, I don't think she's interested in me that way at all, cause she is one of these girls who has a great deal more male freinds than female, she really is just one of the lads, (for example she is in a band with 4 other blokes and stuff like that) so it's really hard to tell in this situation.

I spend just about all day every day with her, but also with another guy, who is a mutual friend, and it's weird because whenever we are alone together, she always wants to get together with him as well, and whenever they are alone, she is always ringing me up to get together with them.

basically what I'm trying to figure out is if she is either trying to:

play me and this other guy off against each other for some reason
or
if she genuinely just sees us both as friends

and I'm pretty worried that if I tell her how I feel it will scare her off completely and ruin what could be a really good friendship, but if I don't tell her, I will just sit there and fester, and its starting to get to me already...

sorry about the mega essay, but I'm just trying to make sense of the whole thing, and it would be great to get some impartial advice.
thanks

It sounds pretty complicated. I don't really have an advice for you but maybe you could just wait a little while more see how things go..? Just be patient, you know? If you rush into things, might not be good. But then again, i don't know. I'm not good with these kind of things but yeah..

I really think you ought to be upfront with this girl. If you wait too long you will just become "befriended" and she won't be able to look at you any other way. I would especially consider this if she has a lot of males around her. You need to show her that you are going to be aggressive with her, that she means something. Otherwise you'll look like a wimp. I have let a lot of chances slip by because I didn't act quickly enough.

You might be worried about "losing a friendship" but you should be more concerned about losing the chance of a relationship. If she ditches you because you ask her out, then she wasn't going to be that great of a friend anyway. If she is a good friend she will understand your desire for her and either accept it or deny it. I know your fear in this. I was in that position a couple times with girls I really liked. The first time I nearly lost my chances with her to another guy. Don't let another day go by; you could lose it all overnight to a guy who is more confident. Just try to get her alone and casually say that you are interested in going out. You have more to gain than you do to lose so just get it over with. Otherwise you'll be like me and live with a lot of regret. Good luck.

Thanks guys. thats actua;;y really good advice, from both sides.
I got kind of drunk tonight, and asked this other guy if he liked her like that. He was understanding, and said that he wasn't really, but that it may kind of bother him. (whatever that means) He has a girl back home waiting for him or osmething, but I couldn't really make sense of his answer, we were both hammered.
but he told me to wait a week or so, and see how I feel then, maybe meet some more women in the interim, and see how I feel after that, but I don't know if that's really sound advice....

Oubliette said:

but he told me to wait a week or so, and see how I feel then, maybe meet some more women in the interim, and see how I feel after that, but I don't know if that's really sound advice....

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You could give it a try though, for just a week like he said.

Well It doesn't matter anymore. The other guy moved in after my back was turned and now they are together. Hehe, that's what you get for trusting people I guess.

Ouch, sorry to hear that man.

What did I tell you!

Ugh. Never discuss your intentions with the enemy.

Well at least you learned a lesson from this one. Keep an eye on her though. Might not work out between them.

Oubliette said:

but I couldn't really make sense of his answer, we were both hammered.

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Oubliette said:

but I don't know if that's really sound advice....

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the answer was right there

Yeah, that was really dumb of me. I'm kinda hoping it won't work out, this guy seems kind of a man slag...

if this girl knows he has a girl w8ing 4 him @ home... i would rethink this

You mean I should rethink this? To be honest, it doesn't bother me that much. I lost out, lesson learned, time to move on and look out for someone new...whatever y'know?

that would b the best move imo. but i thought u were dead set on this girl
me?... i wouldnt take somebodys leftovers/rejected merchandise
plus the problem w/her knowing hes got a girl
yep. let it go. ur definitely right