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thefunkman

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This is what one woman replied to my question on why as a 19 year old attractive male, girls only want to hook up with me and lose interest when they realize im not the badboy people too often assume be to be.

A few possibilities:

1) You get committed too quickly - that in itself is more than a little scary.

2) Agreeing with everything highly implies that you don't have a stand in anything. The Churchill quote is relevant: "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

3)Treat girls as human beings, not priceless whitewashed relics. This includes disagreeing sometimes; and if you really do have a great joy in helping others, you might want to bring that up to them. Show that you have passion, including helping others; if you work with animals, for example, talk about how much you love animals, your volunteer work, and how you feel things could be better.



This is my response

See that is the most ridiculous thing. This is the kind of thing that makes me mad. First of all I get committed too quickly. So putting yourself in a position where you are loyal to your desire is bad?

Second I never said I agree with everything. I am easy going. HUGE HUGE HUGE difference. This is why i get mad when people are like nice guys are not confident blah blah blah. Just because I disagree does not mean I will voice the fact. If it is petty and would make her happy sure why not, i agree. Now if it is something like she says "i hate dogs" i would be pretty upset. I would say well i fuckin love dogs. POINT BLANK PERIOD. Being nice means you do not make problems out of things that can be ignored with no negative results. I feel bad for the people who still do not understand what many of us nice guys are. Just open minded.

Third, treat women like relics blah blah? WTF? Your whole post is really upsetting to be honest. It just shows how misguided women are when they meet nice men. In my mind what I see is i treat women like human being. You know who else i treat like a human being? me, you, we, us, everyone. And to me, humans are pretty ******* priceless "whitewashed relics".

So please, before you assume a nice guy is insincere, lacks confidence, and needs approval, consider the possibility that he is just open minded, easy going person, willing to listen to the likes, dislikes, faults and gifts of just about anyone, and you however are not. Don't think you are so special. I mean, you are. But to us nice guys you are just as special as everyone else to us, which is very special, but you are not better than anyone.

And remember one thing always fellow nice guys. I am easy going but one of my believes is in karma. So keep being nice!

They say nice guys finish last.... Who is the last guy a woman dates? Her husband



Now I notice I see a lot of people either bashing nice guys, or nice guys bashing themselves and feeling bad for themselves. Well its about time to change that if you ask me. Use this as a place to say what you like about being a nice guy, or what you like about nice guys. Im a glass half full kind of guy, I try to see the good in things. I know it helps me, mabye it will help you to stop dwelling on the bad and falling into the streotype of "to be a nice guy you must also lack confidence" and what not. When people say those things you just lose more confidence. I know, us nice guys care what people think. Why? because we are nice and we want other people to be happy also. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. BUT... shake off the haters, the close minded, and the immature.

SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS AND WHY YOU LOVE NICE GUYS OR BEING ONE!
 
I am not female.

I find your display of emotion to be interesting. This is clearly something that you feel passionate about and for that, you have my approval. For what it is worth, I have Antisocial Personality Disorder(also known as sociopathy), and I do not quite feel emotions like most people, I understand, although I feel that I have been more than functionally successfully in life.

I apologize if that was a barrer in communication, however.
 
No, no, I understand what you mean. Thank you for your response.

I am glad you feel that you have done well in life, I believe you have.

If its not too personal, what is it like living with sociopathy? do you understand emotions but not feel them? Or do you feel them but not understand them? or something totally different?
 
thefunkman said:
No, no, I understand what you mean. Thank you for your response.

I am glad you feel that you have done well in life, I believe you have.

If its not too personal, what is it like living with sociopathy? do you understand emotions but not feel them? Or do you feel them but not understand them? or something totally different?

You can understand and feel emotion without any particular need to act on it, although it is often accompanied by ultimately some form of sadism. For example, you can hate someone without feeling any need to display it, while deriving great pleasure from plotting his ultimate downfall. Generally, life is much more driven by a pragmatic rationalism.

To be completely honest, individuals with this 'condition' generally believe that its a positive thing rather than a disorder. I still have some difficulty understanding why it is a disorder when it makes us more functionally successful for ourselves.

When it doesn't, of course, it is just epic fail. But some people just deserve to burn.
 
while i do agree with how you feel about this, i also do lack confidence at the same time. but i totally get what your saying with pretty much everything. it makes sense to me.
 
All I can say I am nice guy.
Yesterday, It was S. João Day, and like all years there is a public party what we called "Romaria". Is like a huge party outside.
Ok, in that party you can see every kind of couples.

and off course I notess that bad looking guys get all the girls that is obvious. :(

But it is just ridiculous.
I saw a guy with a vegeta hair something like this:
4570.png

just walking down the street and 3 girls who were walking behind him were gossip how hansome he is. WTF, that hair was just ridiculous!!!!1

Another ridiculous guy, is what we called the "Azeiteiro" Guy.
Samuel-Massa-30-Caralho-250x150.jpg

This is a azeiteiro guy. Ugly, no front teeth, smokes, bad grades. This ******* Albino Looking guy, get all the hot girls, wtf!
:facepalm:

I dunno, if it´s macho men complex here in portugal, but EVERY single girl dates bad boys.

I also watch how nice guys tries to hook up girls. They are not well experts but they are ok.

I also note that girls want chanlages.
I saw a nice guy trying to hook up in a really funny way, she was holding a bag, and she let it drop, and that guy helped, after that he said: "-Watch out for your butter hands."
he was making fun of her, see?

another example.

I have a friend in my class, that he was always making fun and kidding one girl of my class. In a day, they kissed and now they are lovers. And I was trying to get that girl, also. Trying to be supportive, helpful, kind and that all stuff, i tried for 9 months what that guy archieved in 2 months -.-

I got a conclusion that, a nice guy only get girls if, they have lots of friends, otherwise, you should treat a girl like garbage if she wants "something to you"

They don´t care about a tall guy, intelegent, cute green eyes, brown hair, supportive, helpful, kind and that all stuff...

WTF WORLD???
 
Lol sorry I was laughing at your statement about the last guy a woman dates. Yes in a perfect world, but there is such a thing as cheating and divorce.

Anyway enough about that... lets look at your itemized list. Because you know all of these go hand in hand. We will start with number 1. You commit too fast.

Lets see what does this say. Well, to me it says that you have no standards. Well I won't say no standards, your standards are very simple, the human in question has 2 X chromosomes. Hell I would narrow it even further saying that the person in question has the opposite genitalia, real or otherwise. So what does that say to the girl? She is not special, she has not been chosen for anything besides her internal reproductive organs. You two just happened to bump into each other. That is all that sent you on this spiral down towards potential wife lane. She needs to feel like you are choosing her for more than that. She needs to feel like you are choosing her because she is special in some way. Pretty much every woman has the same thing between her legs. If that is all you need to want her then that is not enough to make her feel special. I know personally I like picky women and I expect them to like picky men. This spirals into item number 3

YES you are putting her up on a pedestal and worshipping her by committing too quickly. You are saying she is the best you can do. She is better than you, she can do better than you. Which brings the question why would she want to be with an inferior mate? After all the point of mating is to produce the next generation of offspring to outshine the last. We breed horses, dogs, cats.. rats... umm pretty much every animal. Deep down humans are the same. Every woman wants to be with that football legend so her child will be stronger. Every woman wants to be with that restaurant owner so her children will be richer. Who are you, some schmuck on the street who is little better than a pet. Why would she want to breed with the man on the street? Do you have a 15 inch unit? Well she can't see because you are so far beneath her. You let her step further on you by being "easy-going"

I laughed when you said that. Seriously what is the difference between being easy-going and agreeing with everything? Nothing, they are two phrases that mean the same basic thing. I think it is cute that you tried though. There is a time and place to be easy-going. Being easy-going avoids unneeded conflict. If you avoid conflict now, what happens when you are paired with her and a conflict arises. That would say to her that you are not going to stand up for your collective thoughts. It says you are a wimp who will let others walk all over you because you are too scared to stand up, and be a man.

Be a man, while that is pretty stereotypical negative comment. I sit down and think about it. Why would a woman want a man who is not a man? I have to ask this question. Men have principles and beliefs. Men are the protectors of the young. It is this way in most of nature, at least for mammals. So a woman will want a man. Not another woman with a penis. I have the same feelings. I am not attracted to tomboys. Why because they are men with vaginas. I am already a man, I do not need another skewed one in my life. I want a woman in my life. Women are the same way. We want our opposite because it adds a new and fresh view to our life.

You also mentioned something about being a badboy... friend, you have it all wrong. Women want a person, a person has their own beliefs, a person gets sad, happy, cute, gross, sexy, and dirty. A person has their own way of life, their own beliefs. A person finds happiness in their way. A person knows what makes them happy and avoids what makes them mad or sad. You do not have to be a bad boy to stand up for yourself. You just have to be a guy. Starting a conflict does not make you a bad person. Conflict is what makes people interesting. Women get bored easily. If there is conflict, there is something to keep things interesting.

I qualify myself as a nice guy. However, I cannot take pride on this thread. What you have described is not a nice guy, but is a wuss. Wusses make me sick. They ***** and moan about everything. Yet they never do anything to change or make things better. I do my fair share of bitching and moaning. However, I also do my fair share to correct the problems in my life. Wusses, sit here and complain about how they are not doing anything wrong. However, you keep down this path. Please do, that way there are plenty of girlfriends out there who are unsatisfied and horny, yet not attracted to their boyfriend. That makes them all the easier to bed. The only thing they will mutter right before I rail them is "I have a boyfriend", yet they won't stop me.

Or you can look at everything this girl said and take it to heart. Next time you are dating a girl, make sure you are dating another girl at the same time or make sure she is secondary in your schedule. Next time a topic you disagree on comes up, let her know and have a discussion. These are very small simple things that will fix the 3 problems you have. None make you a bad guy, none will get you negative karma. All will make her stick around.
 
God dammit, I just realized I don't have opinions about anything. (d)

But to be fair it's more a lack of give a honeysuckle factor than anything.
 
1. Don't get committed at least until the possibility of marriage. Some people would say don't do it even after that.
2. Be an ******* and strongly disagree with every constructive statement that differs from your own.
3. Treat women like you treat your friends, and by that I mean with a swear and a strong right hand.

With these precious advises you'll probably find a girl before the average nice guy. :D

If you're a nice guy, because it's in your nature, you're real and you're not the next faker - you should continue to act the same way. There is no need for a change. Most young women don't want a lenghty relationship or to merry young, they know in the back of their mind that the nice man friend in the end will want to have sex in 80% of the time (unless he's a homo)and it's a natural defence mechanism. :)

Don't try and make sense of your behaviour. In the moment you start to think about what to say next to the person you're interested in - it's over. It's over and you don't even realize it at the moment.
 
Personally, I wouldn't list a willingness to be committed as a normal quality of nice guys. Being quick to commit isn't the same thing as being loyal, and if you're "too quick", it's usually a symptom of some sort of emotional issues- neediness, desperation, that sort of thing. That's not appealing to many people.
 
PedroSilva said:
All I can say I am nice guy.
Yesterday, It was S. João Day, and like all years there is a public party what we called "Romaria". Is like a huge party outside.
Ok, in that party you can see every kind of couples.

and off course I notess that bad looking guys get all the girls that is obvious. :(

But it is just ridiculous.
I saw a guy with a vegeta hair something like this:
4570.png

just walking down the street and 3 girls who were walking behind him were gossip how hansome he is. WTF, that hair was just ridiculous!!!!1

Another ridiculous guy, is what we called the "Azeiteiro" Guy.
Samuel-Massa-30-Caralho-250x150.jpg

This is a azeiteiro guy. Ugly, no front teeth, smokes, bad grades. This ******* Albino Looking guy, get all the hot girls, wtf!
:facepalm:

I dunno, if it´s macho men complex here in portugal, but EVERY single girl dates bad boys.

I also watch how nice guys tries to hook up girls. They are not well experts but they are ok.

I also note that girls want chanlages.
I saw a nice guy trying to hook up in a really funny way, she was holding a bag, and she let it drop, and that guy helped, after that he said: "-Watch out for your butter hands."
he was making fun of her, see?

another example.

I have a friend in my class, that he was always making fun and kidding one girl of my class. In a day, they kissed and now they are lovers. And I was trying to get that girl, also. Trying to be supportive, helpful, kind and that all stuff, i tried for 9 months what that guy archieved in 2 months -.-

I got a conclusion that, a nice guy only get girls if, they have lots of friends, otherwise, you should treat a girl like garbage if she wants "something to you"

They don´t care about a tall guy, intelegent, cute green eyes, brown hair, supportive, helpful, kind and that all stuff...

WTF WORLD???

I'm Portuguese. I live in Porto. From what I know,girls only claim a guy is hot when they are attracted to him,be him actually hot or not.
You know the last guy is a joke and no one is attracted to him,so stop trying to believe so.

Guys should do whatever the fresia they want,and while "nice guys" decide to show that by hearing girls and staying beside them,and the other guys decide to just shout that out loud.

Who wins?
 
Samuel Massas was just a example of looks you know? But you get my point.

Nice guys are forgotten, but i think its because of (some) immaturity of girls.

And you know what i am talking about. Its not that well obvious in Porto Area but after Gaia/Grijó you can see what kind of guys am I talking about.

And now in portuguese: As gajas só querem gajos cheios de dinheiro, brinquinho na orelha e drogado.
 
I watched Poueff's video...about the british chick talking about nice guys. (Hopefully) life changing...She's ******* right (thanks Poueff). We all know being nice doesn't work. Nice guys finished last. If you're proud to be a nice guy, fresia you. Being nice has got you nothing your whole life. fresia being nice. Deep down, i'm an *******. Putting on this nice guy finish that women can see right through is lame.

If you're nice, women will give you attention only to see how far they can push you for their own amusement. Life changes NOW fellas. Time to be the ******** you really are. You don't agree with them, you think they're wrong, they aren't so ******* special...and maybe...just maybe, YOU are too good for THEM. If they reject you, forget them and move on to the next one. Every instinct you have to agree and be nice for no reason is WRONG. Don't do it again...cheers to the first day of the rest of your life boys! If women truly wanted a "nice guy", they had their chance, and they blew it.
 
Hi-
To paraphrase a famous saying about porn, I don't know how to define a nice guy (who's worth my time and not a "wuss") but I know it when I see it. Sure, bad boys command more attention but the older I get, the less attractive bad boys are. I date nice men not bad boys.

-Teresa
 
fresia it...i'm her ******* badboy. I'll slapp her ass and pull her hair
cuase she likes it and want me to.

At 19..most chicks dont wanna get pregnant or get tied down.
She's barely getting out of all the fucken rules from the homes
she grew up in. And she probably hates her daddy.
Fucken nice guys really actaully wanna be her daddy..take care
her and all that good honeysuckle..actually turns in a god **** control
freak so you can keep her all to yourself nice fucken self and fresia
her. just get real about it and quit pretending sometime that your not.

I had sex with plenty of women at 19 with lots of young beautiful
women. I was their boy toy or sex slave. These young women
knew how to take care of themselves. They had thier own place,
pay their own ways. Do whatever the fresia they wanna
do. Dont need a fucken nice guy to save them. They're
independent..not fucken co-dependent.

At 19...you lack a college education, a career..bascailly
finacial stability...Nice or not. Money talks and bullshit walks.
If you ever hear a nice girl telling ya it dosnt matter. Be nice to yourself
and tell her to fresia off.
 
Very interesting, LC. But I don't think that accounts for all women at all; I've known and been with plenty of young girls who were perfectly happy to be committed to someone.

Not everyone is just trying to be a rebel and sleep around, you know; plenty of girls I knew were entirely satisfied to have someone so they could focus on some other part of their life: Erin, for example, was totally happy to be stable with someone so she could focus on being a doctor. Mel, on loving animals. Charlotte, on children with developmental disorders. The list goes on.

There's something about stability which is very appealing to anyone who has direction in life. As far as being a control freak, I do take a bit more responsibility and control in my relationships; I don't believe that any of my ex'es or my girlfriend has particularly complained about me taking care of them, however. You can lead without coercing, you know, and protect without stifling.
 
No, not all women are the same...I'm pretty sure of it. I've had my fair share of them.
I've had plenty of women take me home and wanna love me forever and stay forever.
They were needie as fresia.
To women stalking me.

I've also had serveral long term relationships.

One of which I was broke and poor and she hang around through the bad times,
if anything the material success drove us apart or life got too good for her.
Ultimately...I was still the caretaker, bread winner. I brought home the doe.
I wasnt 19 either and had sometype of education and training.

And it's a fact that every women I've ever had relationships with wants
me back. Obviously I'm not a messed up bad person

I also know I can walk into a bar or social gathering places....even at my age.
There can be 4 chicks in the room and 20 guys. Two of those chicks will be hanging
with me and they're half my age. And BTW...I'm Asian and the only asian dude in town
the rest of those dude are pasty face white boys with their jaw dropped watching
me and the two hot babes having a good time. I'm fucken forbidden fruit or taboo. It turns
on certain women on to be naughty and doing bad things. And I'm pretty good at getting
women off off sexually or just having a good time with them.
Mr nice guy would be too afraid to fresia the living honeysuckle out of them.
The women I attract loves sex and dont have sexual hang ups.

I'm not even a bar fly. I walked into a bar for the first time in decade.
I took a home the pretties babe in the bar that night. No pick up lines
or any stupid honeysuckle. I just ask her for her number and she straight up just
took me home.

What I'm saying is. Stop playing the role of the loser nice guy..needie..a kinght in messed armors. Women see the through
that crap.

And yes..it's a fact every women I've had relationships with asked me out.
These are my facts and reality.

And it's also a fact that when I'm feeling sorry for myself . when I'm feeling down. When my self esteem is low.
When I have a bad attitude about life...women wont approch me or will reject me.
logically..who in hell wants dead ass lame wieght to pull them down?

Most important...I suffer from the I'll show you ***** symdrom. In other words..no matter how beautiful, sweet,
kind a woman I've been with..after a break up. Its this attitude I have. I can do better, I believe in myself.

Maybe it's also becuase I've been with beautiful women all my life. At a subconscious level i attract beautiful
women to me...Idk Thats what my friend was noticing or patterns I have. He see me with beautiful women
all the time and see beautiful come to me or approch me. And i dont even know wtf miss right is.
He said it was just who i am...my essence. So yeah In a lot of ways I dont have to pretend something I'm
not or play the fucken nice guy or try so hard. Just being who I am works for me when it comes to attracting women.
I dont know why other asian dudes cant get hawt babes or pretty white chicks. I get the cream of the crop all the time.

I went out with her and she's half my age..lots of fun.
she and i remain friends...
Leeanna-14.jpg


my woman and I...blonde, a face of an angel and a bootylious body. I'm not allow to post pics of her boobs.lol
I attract or I'm attracted to certain type of women
mikeNsassy-1.jpg
 
It doesn't bother you in the least that women ask you out? You don't prefer to commit to the pursuit?

I'm not that old, but for a long time, I was infamous for having an 'age range' of girlfriends that varied from 16-19; I think I was compensating for not having any relationships during my teenage years. Even now my girlfriend is at the edge of the 'socially acceptable age deviance'.

In every case, I pursued the girl who may or may not had shown much interest in the beginning, but managed to persevere in spite of initial resistance. I eventually found a strategy that worked, and I've found people who care for me, help me, and sometimes just take care of things around the house - an underappreciated and immeasureably valuable role, I should add.

Confidence is indeed essentially; ironically, I think that people who are more introspective tend to be more genuinely intelligent and more decent overall, but that same type of self-realization also causes them to be less confident in themselves. Ignorance must indeed be bliss.

I'm also Asian, btw. I do believe it is a general disadvantage, but hardly a fatal one.
 
why would it bother me if women ask me out? I totally rock, dude.
I like a woman that knows what she wants and go for it.
In other words she has a lot of self confidence , good self esteem and dont
really give a fresia what anybody thinks

Sometime I like to hunt..other times I like to be hunted.
When the hunter becomes the hunted.lol

Yes it can be a disavantage ..mostly from family and some of her friends that are biggots.
If you pick up one end of the stick...so the other.
But havnt you watch a lot of those action pack movies combine with romance...
Such as The underworld, metrix, The titanic, Twightligh...ect
They all have a common theme...FORBIDDEN LOVE..every romantic, very passionate. Women loves this
Some women love voodoo....kind of like being a bad girl or doing something wrong and getting away with it.
It's about being different...out of the ordinary, UNCANNY. Something about her not being a robot and
can make decisons on her own.
You can use this to work for you or against you. I chose for it to work for me.

What you gatta learn how to do is filter out dudes that wants her and is competing for her
or other people telling you that you cant or shouldnt.

Be Asian growning up with all the bullshit I've lived through and gone through..
Somewhere I develope and attitude problem of ...I dont really give a rats ass what anybody thinks or do...
which also show the toughness in me....not so much the badboy in me
I'm not anyone's fucken victim nor I chose to play victim..fresia with me I'll kick your fucken ass..I dont give a fresia.
I'm not going to roll over and play dead..fresia that honeysuckle...I'll take the best. if you dont like it..Too fucken bad, that's your
problem..that would be my general attitude.

Most if not all women I've met or get involve have that...Love at first sting
ovbiousely, it's that desire and passion enough to go beyound the normal of actaully asking me out.
This why longterm relationship with thses women are very firy and passionate...but a challenge
They're head strong..they want what they want and they want it NOW...
Very difficalt to introduce the concept of compremize to them sometimes.lmao
Gotta learn how to take the goods with the bads
 

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