don`t really know how to flirt..

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paulo

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i really dont know how to.
specially when there isnt much time to.
when you see someone on the buss or train or pas them on the street.
i know you look and smile, but thats about as far as i get.

there is this really cute girl behind the counter where i do my grosery shopping ones a week or so.
i always says hi and try to smile as best i can.
she say hi and smiles back, thats pretty much it.
when im standing in line im looking at her trying to spot if she looks at me to.
than i pay we say bye and thats it.

what can i do?
im really bad at the cheasy line things, makes me feel so fake when i try to use em.
i cant just say she`s cute can i ?
not really the time or place for that i think.
i dont even think id have the guts to do so.
im not even really trying to get anywhere with her really, i would just like to be able to flirt a little bit.
 
paulo said:
i really dont know how to.
specially when there isnt much time to.
when you see someone on the buss or train or pas them on the street.
i know you look and smile, but thats about as far as i get.

there is this really cute girl behind the counter where i do my grosery shopping ones a week or so.
i always says hi and try to smile as best i can.
she say hi and smiles back, thats pretty much it.
when im standing in line im looking at her trying to spot if she looks at me to.
than i pay we say bye and thats it.

what can i do?
im really bad at the cheasy line things, makes me feel so fake when i try to use em.
i cant just say she`s cute can i ?
not really the time or place for that i think.
i dont even think id have the guts to do so.
im not even really trying to get anywhere with her really, i would just like to be able to flirt a little bit.

Its a learned skill.

Comment on something about her which makes her pretty - you can certainly tell her that she's got a nice smile or some mannerism that is cute.

For me, the 'feel' of flirting is to just push the boundaries and yet be able to pull back quickly, so that it can always feel innocent with the implication that it isn't. Its the tension between suggestive and harmless which is what makes it fun, really.

As far as cheesy lines go, lol. I don't think they have much use except humor.
 
Well, you don't have to flirt to attract her. Perhaps ask her if she's free for lunch one day. The cheesy lines may seem fake, and usually they are, but remember, some girls appreciate that you can even put yourself out on a limb like that. And to be able to joke around with a cheesy pick up line is a plus as well. Maybe over time, you can get to know her better. You never know what can happen.
 
I don't think flirting is a mandatory skill. However, if you really want to learn to flirt, practice! Heck, go into the chat room. Unless things have changed since I was there, it's a great place to flirt meaninglessly. (No, wait, I totally meant it! I e-luff you all.)
 
I think it goes naturally. It can be trained and fine-tuned if you do it over and over again in my opinion. Do your best over and over again until you succeed. If the girl that your trying to firt with does not mind that your messing up and fumbling; then she likes you!
 
IgnoredOne said:
For me, the 'feel' of flirting is to just push the boundaries and yet be able to pull back quickly, so that it can always feel innocent with the implication that it isn't. Its the tension between suggestive and harmless which is what makes it fun, really.

Agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

Even a simple comment about how you always get service with a smile when she serves you can be flirtatious at this point; You're letter her know that you've noticed her.
 
DaveIsLonely said:
agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

i think im a little to open and maybe a little to friendly.
i tend to treat every one like a friend even if i dont know them untill they prove to be otherwise.
that doesnt work well with everyone.
therefore im really really carefull when i dont wanne screw up, to carefull probably.
cause it aint comming acros.

so ill just have to practise and learn ?
im not necessarily trying to attract anyone but it seems like fun when it works.
 
paulo said:
DaveIsLonely said:
agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

i think im a little to open and maybe a little to friendly.
i tend to treat every one like a friend even if i dont know them untill they prove to be otherwise.
that doesnt work well with everyone.
therefore im really really carefull when i dont wanne screw up, to carefull probably.
cause it aint comming acros.

so ill just have to practise and learn ?
im not necessarily trying to attract anyone but it seems like fun when it works.

Well, a lot of it has to do with reading body language. Personally, I just crashed and burned a lot at first - dunno if you want to go that route, though. It is fun!

 
Treat her like a friend, why wouldn't you?

Go up to her, say hi, vibe with her. Get a flow in the conversation. Is she making it hard for you? Ask her stuff and branch off with something she gives you (she gives you very much when you set up a question and she answers).

To avoid being "the friend", you need to escalate it. You can't just come over to her and talk to her every now and then, and walk off. You need to have some fun conversation, and then you walk away - with her number on your cellphone! You ask for her number, you get it, call her at once so she has your number (and you know its her number^^), then walk off with a big grin on your face.

Be confident, have fun, ask for the number. Bam, you've already made it clear you aren't there to be friends.
 
trZ said:
Treat her like a friend, why wouldn't you?

I think he's just trying to flirt, lol. Not always the same thing, though I do think that what you suggested would work well if he was after the girl.
 
trZ said:
Treat her like a friend, why wouldn't you?

Go up to her, say hi, vibe with her. Get a flow in the conversation. Is she making it hard for you? Ask her stuff and branch off with something she gives you (she gives you very much when you set up a question and she answers).

To avoid being "the friend", you need to escalate it. You can't just come over to her and talk to her every now and then, and walk off. You need to have some fun conversation, and then you walk away - with her number on your cellphone! You ask for her number, you get it, call her at once so she has your number (and you know its her number^^), then walk off with a big grin on your face.

Be confident, have fun, ask for the number. Bam, you've already made it clear you aren't there to be friends.

that does sound like it could work.
especially the last part, making clear what your there for.
it is a little more than i was going for right now though.
but ill remember it for later on ;)

about the friend part.
some people dont seem to know what to make of it when im al open and friendly while i dont even know them yet.
not just girls but people in general.
 
As in you feel you are maybe being seen as weird? Its probably because you lead the subject of the conversation onto things that are simply too heavy to talk about. Be light and positive, make jokes and banter. Smile a lot. Its good to be open, but only to a certain degree. Don't go around talking about yourself, its way more entertaining for people to talk about themselves. No, you are not going to be a doormat that never gets to say anything, but you should ask questions and make the conversation flow easily. This makes people feel comfortable around you.

About making it clear with girls, actions are ALWAYS the answer. You need to escalate it, step by step. If its in the middle of the day at work or whatever, take her number and get out. If its at a night out, you

1. Open: A easy and great way to do this is.. drumroll... To say Hi! and smile.
2. Touch her. Not in a creepy ass way, but just connect with her physically some way or another.
3. Get her away from her friends (social pressure whatever). If she denies to go with you, next.
4. Get her number and get out, OR for the ultimate super success, go for the kiss. If she turns the cheek, you are not done yet! Keep chatting her up, then either try again later when it feels right, or get her number and get out. If she gets annoyed with you, its time to move away. If its makeout session, time to get her home :)

This might not apply to you, just talking generally here. Its SOMEWHAT related guys :pp
 
trZ? Really?! I'm no expert but I disagree with #2 and #4 b (the ultimate super success).

If you wanna meet a chick in a club for the one night stand, then sure. But if you're looking for a real relationship (a realationship if you will). Say more than the norm, if she reciprocates...repeat.

If she's not interested...you'll know! No big deal..just move on to the next one.
 
"If its at a night out, you"

Its a night out bro, touching and kissing is pretty normal.

If you do not agree with the important of touching, then I won't argue with you. I just disagree, I think its real important. Going for the kiss when you're in a club is pretty good because you know where she stands, you are escalating things, and jumping from kissing and leaving each other on a high note is a better way of getting a good date set up, than talking with her until she leaves of boredom.

Realationship, ha! Nice. Anyways I don't really see the difference. Something that was "supposed" to be a one night stand could turn into a relationship, why wouldn't that be possible? I don't see how a girl would like you more in a "one night stand" kind of way if you did this, and then more "REALationship" kind of way if you didn't do the kissing and touching, but just.. I don't know, talked? Dude you're at the club you shouldn't be boring. She's there to get picked up, not chat with some guy for hours on end or whatever.

But hey, if you're real uncomfortable with kissing (or thinks it ruins a potential relationship..) then just go for the number and set up a date. But I assure you your success rate will not be as good as if you showed some balls and went for the kiss

My thoughts on it!
 
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I have a tough time flirting during the day. Its usually because Im a creature of habit and prefer to go about my day than spend additional time to flirt with women. I also assume that women have lives and rather not tell a guy off so she can get back to work.

Still, my best input is to be as natural as possible. What I've done in the past is asking a woman to tag along to an event I had already planned on going to, whether its by myself or with a few friends. If she agrees, then the flirtation begins. :D
 
paulo said:
i really dont know how to.
specially when there isnt much time to.
when you see someone on the buss or train or pas them on the street.
i know you look and smile, but thats about as far as i get.

there is this really cute girl behind the counter where i do my grosery shopping ones a week or so.
i always says hi and try to smile as best i can.
she say hi and smiles back, thats pretty much it.
when im standing in line im looking at her trying to spot if she looks at me to.
than i pay we say bye and thats it.

what can i do?
im really bad at the cheasy line things, makes me feel so fake when i try to use em.
i cant just say she`s cute can i ?
not really the time or place for that i think.
i dont even think id have the guts to do so.
im not even really trying to get anywhere with her really, i would just like to be able to flirt a little bit.

You're bad at cheesy lines? Good, don't use them. Cheesy pick up lines in and of themselves don't work, but some guys can have success DESPITE using them.

I also wouldn't recommend commenting on how you think she's cute. Just treat her like any other person. Come up with a few questions you could ask her next time and use at least one of them. If that goes well, come up with an excuse to ask for her contact info next time, ask another question and try it. If she makes some excuse, be cool. You never know, she may change her mind!

Surprisingly, flirting and picking up girls is a lot less about WHAT you do and a lot more about HOW. Watch movies with guys interacting with girls and you'll get an idea of HOW to behave when you talk to her.
 
Baby, you can drive my car. B)


Try getting to know her a little bit before thinking about flirting....it's easier to flirt if you at least know something about the other person. Quality flirting, anyway.



 
I don't think touching or kissing is normal, but that's me. I don't like people touching me, especially if I don't know them that well. But I suppose some people don't mind.
 

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