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FSC87
Guest
uh...I just have gone through so much. I don't know what is going on with me. I am never really happy. I feel like I am losing my ambition. I don't want to lose my chance to do what I have always wanted to do...teach! It's really just a constant miserable feeling, and its no one's fault but my own. I am seriously considering moving back home and figuring some things out. I just don't know what to do....
I don't have a lot of friends. But I have them. I have never been a very outgoing person. I like to hang, but not all the time. I am usually fine sitting at home doing work, and watching a movie on a friday night.
But lately it has been getting to me. I just feel like I have no one but my family. I love my family dearly, but it would be nice to have a friend here at school. I had one but he commutes now, so I rarely see him, cause he's got other friends now. People have their cliques here and I don't. I have lots of friends, who aren't really friends. We occasionally talk, but its not like they come to me and want to talk. I usually have to initiate it. It hasn't really bothered me until now, because I have been thinking, "Are they really my friends?, or am I a forgettable person, or do they think I'm weird?" But I have never had someone not like me. Most people like to hang out with me, or so I think. So what is it then?
this all ties back to my huge fear of rejection. most things I don't care about, but I couldn't live with myself if people were to go around making fun of me.
I know I have been rambling, but its nice being able to write this. I guess my main point is that I wish that I had some one to hang out with that would want to hang out with me, and I would want to do the same for them.
I don't have a lot of friends. But I have them. I have never been a very outgoing person. I like to hang, but not all the time. I am usually fine sitting at home doing work, and watching a movie on a friday night.
But lately it has been getting to me. I just feel like I have no one but my family. I love my family dearly, but it would be nice to have a friend here at school. I had one but he commutes now, so I rarely see him, cause he's got other friends now. People have their cliques here and I don't. I have lots of friends, who aren't really friends. We occasionally talk, but its not like they come to me and want to talk. I usually have to initiate it. It hasn't really bothered me until now, because I have been thinking, "Are they really my friends?, or am I a forgettable person, or do they think I'm weird?" But I have never had someone not like me. Most people like to hang out with me, or so I think. So what is it then?
this all ties back to my huge fear of rejection. most things I don't care about, but I couldn't live with myself if people were to go around making fun of me.
I know I have been rambling, but its nice being able to write this. I guess my main point is that I wish that I had some one to hang out with that would want to hang out with me, and I would want to do the same for them.
