..But, someone might say something mean!

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Lavender

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Sorry if there is already a thread like this out there, but I wanted to bring something up that I have such difficulty with. Whether it is publicly socializing or typing something into a forum, I am so...what's the word..apprehensive I suppose, about how what I am communicating will be perceived.

I get so afraid that I will be picked on, humiliated or misunderstood, that I observe more than I participate. Of course, I see other people goof up all the time and they brush it off like no big deal and most of the time, no one else makes a big deal out of it, either. I always think, "Darn, I want to be more like that!"

I just made a post on a fansite forum which I'm part of and I'm even scared to go see if there are any replies, lol. Makes me feel so silly, but the best way to get over such a thing would be to continually face it, no matter what happens, right? :eek:
 
You're right, you have to face your fears. Fears can be overcome only by facing them. Always someone can say something mean, but so what? Life is like that, there is always cruel people. But there is good people too, focus on the good side.
 
I do that sometimes after I make a post, I'm afraid to read what someone may have responded. One thing I try to remember is that, it's the internet!! Most of the time, because I like to joke around or be playfully sarcastic, I'll put, jk, lol, /sarcasm along with smilies or something to convey I'm not being serious. Most importantly don't take anything too serious on the net, it's full of trolls and people who just enjoy messing with others.
 
What's kind of weird is that it wasn't always this way. I got lots of crap when I was in elementary/middle school and I was like, "Pff, whatever!", but in high school, it was like I had no skin anymore! I became so phobic of it, you'd think one derogatory statement would make me drop dead :p.
 
Who gives a flying fresia what others think of you.

Do what you wanna do with your life.
 
You are not responsible for the stupidity of others. Take reasonable precautions to avoid getting injured/hurt, of course, but don't let others dictate your life.
 
Lavender said:
Sorry if there is already a thread like this out there, but I wanted to bring something up that I have such difficulty with. Whether it is publicly socializing or typing something into a forum, I am so...what's the word..apprehensive I suppose, about how what I am communicating will be perceived.

I get so afraid that I will be picked on, humiliated or misunderstood, that I observe more than I participate. Of course, I see other people goof up all the time and they brush it off like no big deal and most of the time, no one else makes a big deal out of it, either. I always think, "Darn, I want to be more like that!"

I just made a post on a fansite forum which I'm part of and I'm even scared to go see if there are any replies, lol. Makes me feel so silly, but the best way to get over such a thing would be to continually face it, no matter what happens, right? :eek:

The key is that you took action. Good for you.

Remember, appearances can be deceiving, ESPECIALLY on the net. Just because a person's text (words) construe the image that they're handling things fine, doesn't mean that they are actually okay.

Take me, for instance. Right now I'm extremely tense. Did I give any indication of that in my text? I don't think so.
 
Lavender said:
Sorry if there is already a thread like this out there, but I wanted to bring something up that I have such difficulty with. Whether it is publicly socializing or typing something into a forum, I am so...what's the word..apprehensive I suppose, about how what I am communicating will be perceived.

I get so afraid that I will be picked on, humiliated or misunderstood, that I observe more than I participate. Of course, I see other people goof up all the time and they brush it off like no big deal and most of the time, no one else makes a big deal out of it, either. I always think, "Darn, I want to be more like that!"

I just made a post on a fansite forum which I'm part of and I'm even scared to go see if there are any replies, lol. Makes me feel so silly, but the best way to get over such a thing would be to continually face it, no matter what happens, right? :eek:

I get this until I'm more comfortable with the people I'm talking too. hen can go more normalface.
 
Become indifferent to what they say..
I developed a "blank stare" as to show no emotion..
like this:
chobits6.jpg


But anyways why be so self-conscious...
It's just a human...
And we're all humans..
We're all overpopulated, so get used to it! xD
We'll see each other a lot more..
I'm in High school too.
 
Hi Lavender,

I can really relate to what you wrote and believe me such thoughts has caused me my peace of mind. I've come to a point where I'm so tired of such thoughts that I say to myself, "F it! I'll be damned if I do, damned if I don't."

We can't control what others want to say let alone their thoughts. So if someone gets crossed or annoyed by what you have said, it could be them. They could be having a bad day and decided to take it out on you.
As time goes by you'll realize that some of these people probably aren't worth your time and most of all, your peace of mind.


 
I seem to usually have the same issue myself. But I am sure that you'll surpass that when you start socializing more. With habit, it'll be gone. The first step is to be confident in yourself :D


Good luck.
 
wow, I can so relate to this post ^^

I would worry about something I said or wrote and then would feel silly for worrying. It took me awhile to really be comfortable with posting. I got to know some people a bit first, and started commenting on their posts cos I felt comfy enough they won't ignore or take my posts badly.

I am also working on not letting ill or negative thoughts that make me feel bad get to me. e. g. being paranoid of one might think about me or the stuff I said/did. Of course, it's really a slow process and you just have to incorporate it regularly in your self so you learn to grow a ''thicker'' shell.

I liked what my art professor said years ago, that to defeat shyness, you just have to embarrass yourself over and over again ^^ Though that I find hard to practice. But well, I do embarrass myself often, not purposely but it's a talent >.>

What ever happens, practice sharing your thoughts, ideas, opinion even to one person at first. Later on, you'll get enough courage to tell it to 2 or more people and then to a crowd. And as long as you are willing to accept when you said something bad, then don't be afraid to share.

Instead of thinking how others view you base on your opinions, think of how your opinions shape you as a person. Whether people agree or disagree, you can't change what you think to their liking.

It is hard though, I tend to take step backs but I do try to move forward ^^

Goodluck :)

btw, your post is well written. Would be a pleasure to hear more from you
 
I think you have the spotlight issue. Its all in your head. In reality it wasn't probably that bad. In your head its all blown up. Most people mind their own business. People are very fickle beings. They would forget everything that isn't related to them. So don't beat yourself up.
 
Dumble said:
I think you have the spotlight issue. Its all in your head. In reality it wasn't probably that bad. In your head its all blown up. Most people mind their own business. People are very fickle beings. They would forget everything that isn't related to them. So don't beat yourself up.


This is true. People are most thinking about themselves.
 
People think differently. If you're willing to speak - be ready to defend whatever you bring to the table. You can always dodge conversations and never express yourself but then what's the point? Leave your mark - Say what you want to say and be ready to talk back when needed.

But most importantly, don't be an ******* - People think differently.

If your message doesn't go through the way you wanted it to. Be humble and ready to say "sorry". That's usually all it takes to put out the fire.
 
You can never please anyone else, and you'll find that most of the people who were truly correct had few people who agreed with them. So would you rather be right, or be liked?
 
I'm a lot like you... I'm a member of several message boards and even if I spend a lot of time there I very rarely post.
There are plenty of things I have to say and I'm not really afriad of the attention but I'm a very sensitive person and have seen people literally get attacked for posting something that either gets misunderstood or pisses someone off. I don't know what I'd do if it happened to me...I realize it's "just the internet" but I know I'd take it personally and get my feelings all hurt and bruised up.
I'm also really self-conscious so that doesn't help.
 

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