struggling to connect/ feelings of failure

Hi, I'm Stephen.

I've signed up here because I'm struggling with feeling alone, and I could do with some advice. And I just want to express somehow the way I feel at the moment.

Over the past few years, my friends have settled into long-term relationships and I've been left out in the cold.

I decided to take a leap of faith, and joined a drama group to break out of my comfort zone and make some friends.And it was working for a while, but the problem is that I'm shy, and acting is really hard for me.

I was enjoying it, but I'd auditioned for 3 plays within the group and never made the cut. The latest was the most painful. An improv performance was scheduled (effectively a drama without a script). And I got cut from the team the day before the performance.

So now I'm feeling very down. My new friends don't rate me and I feel like a failure. My old friends haven't been any help, in my darkest times I sometimes feel like they like to see me struggle, just so they can look better in comparison.

So that's my story. I'm glad I got it out there in some way, because not being able to tell anyone just made me feel worse. And I'm glad a place like this exists, where people can get away from their problems, even just for a small time

Hey Stephen, welcome to the forums. On the subject of dramatics it can be difficult, especially if you do not make the cut, but you should not see three rejections as a bad thing. Your skills will be developing all of the time, and with this will develop a greater level of confidence, just keep running with it and I'm sure you will get a part. Even if you only have two lines and one minute of stage time, everyone has to start somewhere!!!

softwarefreak said:

Hey Stephen, welcome to the forums. On the subject of dramatics it can be difficult, especially if you do not make the cut, but you should not see three rejections as a bad thing. Your skills will be developing all of the time, and with this will develop a greater level of confidence, just keep running with it and I'm sure you will get a part. Even if you only have two lines and one minute of stage time, everyone has to start somewhere!!!

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Thanks for your kind words

Hi Stephen, the fact that you signed up for drama to try and break out of your comfort zone is a feat in itself, so good for you. I could never do that, even if I wanted to. So what if things didn't go so well, so you had some bad auditions, got cut, so what. You still did something to try and change yourself and meet new people. Keep at it.

You shouldn't think that your old friends like to see you struggle to look better in comparison, how do you even know that is true. You just feel that way, don't let your feelings do that to you. Their lives are different, if anything some are probably envious of you.

This seems stupid, but have you tried a dating website?

Sci-Fi said:

Hi Stephen, the fact that you signed up for drama to try and break out of your comfort zone is a feat in itself, so good for you. I could never do that, even if I wanted to. So what if things didn't go so well, so you had some bad auditions, got cut, so what. You still did something to try and change yourself and meet new people. Keep at it.

You shouldn't think that your old friends like to see you struggle to look better in comparison, how do you even know that is true. You just feel that way, don't let your feelings do that to you. Their lives are different, if anything some are probably envious of you.

Click to expand...

you are right, i guess its just hard to keep focus after a setback. i would recommend joining clubs or sports groups with people of a similar interest. you will find that most people are in the same boat and want to make new friends. i also joined a reading club which is great but i wish it met more often.

on online dating, i was in a relationship for a while but i decided to end it as i wasn't being fair on the other person, i was just staying with them to avoid being alone.

this weekend any friends i do have are busy with their girlfriends. even for something simple like going to the cinema, i will be going alone. its getting to the stage where i.don't like asking people because they keep saying no.

Sci-Fi said:

Hi Stephen, the fact that you signed up for drama to try and break out of your comfort zone is a feat in itself, so good for you. I could never do that, even if I wanted to. So what if things didn't go so well, so you had some bad auditions, got cut, so what. You still did something to try and change yourself and meet new people. Keep at it.

You shouldn't think that your old friends like to see you struggle to look better in comparison, how do you even know that is true. You just feel that way, don't let your feelings do that to you. Their lives are different, if anything some are probably envious of you.

Click to expand...

you are right, i guess its just hard to keep focus after a setback. i would recommend joining clubs or sports groups with people of a similar interest. you will find that most people are in the same boat and want to make new friends. i also joined a reading club which is great but i wish it met more often.

on online dating, i was in a relationship for a while but i decided to end it as i wasn't being fair on the other person, i was just staying with them to avoid being alone.

this weekend any friends i do have are busy with their girlfriends. even for something simple like going to the cinema, i will be going alone. its getting to the stage where i.don't like asking people because they keep saying no.