NightHawkJohn
Well-known member
Its my birthday today i am 28 and it just feels terrible, all i see is how much i have not done how far behind i am.
Most of my birthdays a crappy, i tend to just want to the day to pass quickly as its only a reminder of how much my life has not turned out the way i wanted.
Still have have no one to talk to most of the time and no one in person just internet, my depression is making it so hard for me to move forward sometimes i cannot see the point.
About the only thing i have managed to do this year is get stronger with my weight lifting in the last 4 months i have gained strength, but my diet is terrible and being depressed most of the time means i feel tired most days which limits how much i can do.
I always had these hopes in life when i was younger that i would be able to succeed at the things i wanted to do but now with my mind broken, memory mostly shot, cant read anything, can hardly think straight most of the time, i really cannot see how i will do anything with my life.
I have this hope that one day i will be a strongman or something like that maybe even though my brain is screwed i can still make my body strong.
I do not know if that's just a dream never to be realized, if i have it in me or not but i have to dream of something better.
Maybe next year will be better i hope so. i will keep trying, what else am i going to do.
Most of my birthdays a crappy, i tend to just want to the day to pass quickly as its only a reminder of how much my life has not turned out the way i wanted.
Still have have no one to talk to most of the time and no one in person just internet, my depression is making it so hard for me to move forward sometimes i cannot see the point.
About the only thing i have managed to do this year is get stronger with my weight lifting in the last 4 months i have gained strength, but my diet is terrible and being depressed most of the time means i feel tired most days which limits how much i can do.
I always had these hopes in life when i was younger that i would be able to succeed at the things i wanted to do but now with my mind broken, memory mostly shot, cant read anything, can hardly think straight most of the time, i really cannot see how i will do anything with my life.
I have this hope that one day i will be a strongman or something like that maybe even though my brain is screwed i can still make my body strong.
I do not know if that's just a dream never to be realized, if i have it in me or not but i have to dream of something better.
Maybe next year will be better i hope so. i will keep trying, what else am i going to do.
