Re: THE ONLY CLOSEST PERSON LEFT TO ME IS VERY ILL, SUGGESTIONS ON ISSUES?

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WishingWell

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Hi!

I know a lot of you know my living and family situation. The only person I really have left in this world that is close to me and can deal with my "mental challenges" is my Mother. I live with her in a basement apartment in my Sister's home.

I found out a few days ago that she is in Renal Failure (Kidney), and to compliate that she is diabetic. She will be 82 years old soon, but you'd never know she was sick, and is going to meet with a Nutritionist for a diet on August 24. She will end up on dialysis and then the inevitable will happen if she doesn't follow the diet.

As much as I try, she really fights me about eliminating sugar and bad foods for her, and I can't force her to do or not do anything.

I am terrified of losing her, because of the strain with the rest of my family, she is all I have left in this world. I have no friends and don't drive, as most of you know. I will be all alone stuck in this basement to rot.

I wanted to know if anyone has any input as to how I can help make her days brighter, and how I can concentrate on how fortunate I am to have her instead of being so afraid of losing her.

Thanks for anything anyone can say.
 
Hey, the best thing I can say from experience with numerous members of my family is to allow her to live how she wants, which already seems to be her intention.
My uncle, who passed away early Weds morning, was warned two years ago that if he did not improve his diet and completely cut the drink he would not last very long. Did he listen - No, but in those two years he was living the life he wanted, eating and drinking what he liked, and more importantly what he enjoyed. This attitude could be viewed as selfish as he has left a daughter (mid 20's) and a one year old grandchild, but choices were made and the results were innevitable.
As a side point, it has been proven that the things we ingest affect our moods, sugars creating happier moods and giving a buzz effect, and without the intake of these things a person can become very depressed.
To conclude my opinion would be to try and negotiate with her to reduce the sugar intake and cut the bad foods from a daily basis, and instead see if she would be willing to set certain points in the week where she can contravene the medical advice and choose to have the things she likes most.
The most important thing I have learned with older family members is to always bear in mind that they have lived the way they like for a "lifetime", and now someone a third/ quarter of their age is trying to tell them that they can no longer do that - if the situation was reversed, how would you take it???

Hope this small essay (lol) helps in some way and all the best to yourself and your mother! :)
 
Disgusting, spammers have no shame.

WishingWell, you have lots of friends, we might be on the internet but you still have them and are here for you. :D

I don't have much experience with this subject so I'll just keep sending lots of hugs your way. :)
 
I wont pretend to know what your mental issues are, but are you really unable to do things on your own? Can you use public transportation or anything? Are there any occupational therapists that you can go to, to help learn some survival skills?
 
I am so sorry to hear that your beloved mother is so unwell :( Unfortunately, there is nothing people can do to help if a dialysis patient becomes non-compliant..... it is already a miracle that the health system in your country is willing to start longterm dialysis on an 82yr old person..... doesn't happen at where I live.

What you can do is keep trying to convince your mother to follow the advice of the health professionals
 
To all of you that responded to my Post,

I was, but I guess shouldn't be, surprised to see all of the posts in answer to my Thread. You made me feel warm inside.

Sci-Fi this proves to me I do have a lot of friends--and on here is just as good as friends in person or maybe even better, because you all are compassionate and can be reached by just writing. Oh, and thanks for the hugs! Software Freak I am sorry for the loss of your Uncle, and you are right, I never listened or do now to what people tell me to do with my life. It is important that my Mom enjoys her time left. LonelyFairy, I am sorry you are going through almost the same situation, and we should keep in touch. Condemnedsoul666 thank you for being there for me...it's good to know I can count on you. Septicemia, I am pretty functional, I don't depend on anyone to pay my bills, etc. I would have to check to see if there is a service to take Seniors and Disabled people places--good idea. Thank you. And, Allanh, my Mom is not bad enough for dialysis yet, if she sticks to the diet, that can be put off--yes they do it on people my Mom's age, but I hope she doesn't have to go through that.

All in all, thinking about it, as my Dad suffered only (well that seemed like years) 3 weeks before he passed, I remember feeling glad he was at peace. So I guess I am being selfish trying to hold on to my Mom even if she is suffering, which right now she is not doing that bad.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH--IF I MISSED ANY OF YOU, I DIDN'T MEAN TO--AND A Lonely Life HAS BEEN GREAT TO ME, BUT TODAY HAS TAUGHT ME IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!!!
 
Anytime:)


On another note did you get my birthday message the other day?
If not Happy Belated Birthday! :)
 
No, Condemnedsoul666, I didn't...can I still find it? Where was it? Thanks very much! I had a nice quiet one. My Sister made me a pot of chili to freeze in portions and my newphew made me a pumpkin cheese cake! MMMMMMMM! I sliced and froze that for when I cheat on my diet! :D
 
I was tired so it was just in the shout box, probably several pages back lol

I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday
 

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