Hope this helps, I'm running out of options

Hello All,

I apologize if my heading sounds somewhat depressing. I just know that something in my day to day life has got to change. In the words of the band Linkin Park, "Cause I'm one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break".
I'm a 40 something yr old female, divorced, but have been living with a guy for over 10 years. We tried being a couple, but all he wants to do is look at porn, yet has no interest in me sexually, that hurts. We used to be best friends, but even that has stopped. I recently lost my job and because of finances, I am stuck with this guy. Even if I wasn't though, I have no friends and I mean NONE and it isn't for lack of trying. It seems people have become shallow and only want "attractive" friends. I never understood how anyone could base someone's worth solely on looks. That if a person isn't height/weight proportionate, that they aren't worth getting to know. Yes, I do have low self esteem, but I have had enough people reject me based on looks or lack thereof and in later years my weight, to know that this is a real problem.
I'm just wanting someone to talk to, email, be able to chat with, listen to and read about others who are feeling left out of life. I don't care how you look, what you weigh, your color, age, etc. I just would like to find some real people that don't judge, and maybe find a honest, trust worthy friend or two. It doesn't seem like much to ask, but the search so far has been a lonely, difficult, experience.

Hi and Welcome Lone!

welcome!

So are like... are the people who are rejecting being your friends outright saying its because of your looks?

welcome to the forums,feel free to send me a pm anytime if you want to talk or something.

G'day

Thank you to the people who have stopped by to read my post and say "Hello".
In answer to your question, I have had a couple of rude, but honest people make derogatory comments about my looks, then I never heard from them again. One guy actually blocked my email address so I couldn't contact him any longer, when I tried to find out what his problem was? Others have been more subtle. Some people I have actually "clicked with" while getting to know one another, have just disappeared after pics were exchanged, never to be heard from again. I don't know how else to interpret that, other than my looks or lack thereof. If anyone is wondering have I tried "enhancing" what I have, the answer is "YES", many times. I have done the new hair style's, dye jobs, classy, or sexy clothing and shoes, the painted nails, etc. One thing I refuse to do is plastic surgery. To each their own, but that's too extreme, just to gain people's approval. I have never done the bar scene and don't want to start, so how does one find real people that want to be actual friends? I could some right now, just to give me an emotional boost while life around me continues to fall apart.
Thanks for your kind replies. Good luck with whatever you seek.

Limlim said:

welcome!

So are like... are the people who are rejecting being your friends outright saying its because of your looks?

Click to expand...

Hi LonelynTx

I'm sorry for your past experiences. I feel that I can relate somewhat to your current predicament. I am also quite overweight and I feel like this is a big barrier between myself and life. Particularly in regards to relationships, but I also believe this is why I can't get a job. Yes it's been my experience that the world only wants "attractive" people around them and we are conditioned from young to believe that thin = attractive, fat = ugly. And there are some people who are shallow enough to only want friendships with "beautiful" people. But when it comes to friendships the only important thing to me is that I like the person, they have a nice personality/ character and we have things to talk about. What they look like is unimportant and I commend you for not resorting to cosmetic surgery. Those people who didn't want to talk after seeing what you looked like, you are better off without. You may PM me anytime. I too would like people to talk to.

Hope to hear from you.

In a world where people aspire to perfection as dictated by the media and entertainment we who are neither successful, talented (by their standards) or attractive don't have a prayers chance in hell. Our society is one where a friend is someone you can get something from, use, or who in some way makes you feel better. It's an upside down and backwards world.

We who suffer the silence of 'alone' are scorned. Compassion does not exist. The only thing the world has to say to us is, "hang in there," or "try harder" or assorted other bullshit and meaningless phrases, and we get those only when the world is feeling generous. Nobody forgives. Nobody forgets. Nobody looks past our appearance or gives us the slightest chance to be the person we are. Only we understand and only we will ever understand. We're such square pegs and spread so thin that we are not only alone but isolated. That makes life a hell of a lot harder.

We don't want to die, we want to live, but living seems like one endless, painful existence. We refuse to hope or trust but there's something in our gut that tells us maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there, somewhere, like we are and maybe the stars will align so that we will find them before our pain becomes too great and we lie down for the last time.

You said, "I'm just wanting someone to talk to, email, be able to chat with, listen to and read about others who are feeling left out of life. I don't care how you look, what you weigh, your color, age, etc. I just would like to find some real people that don't judge, and maybe find a honest, trust worthy friend or two. It doesn't seem like much to ask, but the search so far has been a lonely, difficult, experience."

Indeed. Me too.

Hello