Been on this planet for more than a few sunrises. Considering my childhood, I have accomplished a great deal. Been a school dropout and at 40 years old earned a AA degree in paralegal studies. Have been involved in political(I.e. Amesty International), religious, spiritual, womens and mixed groups, individual and group therapy, studied with a woman shaman and created 5 very beautiful children. Been married twice with significant issues. Currently, my marriage of 27 years ended. I forgot what it felt like to be fully awake in the present. A new relationship has developed and its important to me that it doesn't get poisoned with my past nor his. I am French Canadian from Prince Edward Island and came to the U.S. when I was nine years old, having been adopted by a New York, Italian family. I currently live in Nevada with my partner, lover and friend. I was born to a violent Alcoholic father and passive mother. I was born at home (i.e. too poor to afford hospital) in June of 1956 along with a younger brother that was about 1 year younger. Records are limited. My brother died when he was six months old. My cousin related to me that my father was violent with the baby and there is a possibility he may have caused it. In my late thirities, after remembering some things, I went back to the Island and was able to access records. What I found out was when I was three I was removed from my home. They found me to be severely malnourished (distended stomach, shiny knees etc.,), cigarette burns on my back and a rope burn around my leg and a large mark on my right hand that left permanent scars. As you can gather, there are mental, spiritual and emotional scars.
Looking for real and truth-seeking friends. Stone Mountain Woman
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Jilted John
Well-known member
Wow! A tale and a half Anne,Things can only get better for you,and I hope they do.
Have you posted in the new members forum yet?That's probably the best place to get started on this site,I just happened to be flipping through the pages,and saw your post with no replies,which is probably why.If you post there you'll be surprised at the response!
Regards.
John.
Have you posted in the new members forum yet?That's probably the best place to get started on this site,I just happened to be flipping through the pages,and saw your post with no replies,which is probably why.If you post there you'll be surprised at the response!
Regards.
John.
R
rivermaze
Guest
Hi Anne,
In your second post you mentioned that your were looking for women friends, but I hope that you don't mind that I join you this time, at least for a moment.
I don't think that I can imagine any harder life, but it seems that you've achieved a great deal to overcome your past, and it's beautiful and I feel great respect for you.
If I could pick, I would like to listen with pleasure about your engagement with Amnesty and studying with a woman shaman. I'm not spiritual or religious person, but as I used to study anthropology of religions, I find interesting to learn on some subjects; in this case on your work for human rights organisation and the first hand experience of shamanism.
I like this three nouns together. I feel the same about my wife.
Yes, do you think they are healing?
Thanks for this post. I bet it's not easy to talk about such experiences and I'm glad you did.
Take care!
In your second post you mentioned that your were looking for women friends, but I hope that you don't mind that I join you this time, at least for a moment.
I don't think that I can imagine any harder life, but it seems that you've achieved a great deal to overcome your past, and it's beautiful and I feel great respect for you.
anne said:
If I could pick, I would like to listen with pleasure about your engagement with Amnesty and studying with a woman shaman. I'm not spiritual or religious person, but as I used to study anthropology of religions, I find interesting to learn on some subjects; in this case on your work for human rights organisation and the first hand experience of shamanism.
anne said:
I like this three nouns together. I feel the same about my wife.
anne said:
Yes, do you think they are healing?
Thanks for this post. I bet it's not easy to talk about such experiences and I'm glad you did.
Take care!
B
blackhole
Guest
being violently abused as a child has a way of changing you.
usually for the better.
but not always.
it certainly does change your priorities in relationships, doesn't it anne?
while most are looking for fun, and excitement, and romance...
we find ourselves looking for honesty, and decency, and compassion.
abuse taught me to see first and value second the things in people, that most others take for granted or never notice for being there or for not being there. either way.
it causes me to judge people on their core decency. (that's what i meant with that last paragraph), it has also given me an uncanny ability to judge people's intentions and motivations insofar as core goodness or badness is concerned.
i'm guilty from time to time of seeing only black and white, where there are certainly shades of grey. i think others are just as guilty of seeing nothing BUT shades of grey. when those things are black to me as plain as day.
usually for the better.
but not always.
it certainly does change your priorities in relationships, doesn't it anne?
while most are looking for fun, and excitement, and romance...
we find ourselves looking for honesty, and decency, and compassion.
abuse taught me to see first and value second the things in people, that most others take for granted or never notice for being there or for not being there. either way.
it causes me to judge people on their core decency. (that's what i meant with that last paragraph), it has also given me an uncanny ability to judge people's intentions and motivations insofar as core goodness or badness is concerned.
i'm guilty from time to time of seeing only black and white, where there are certainly shades of grey. i think others are just as guilty of seeing nothing BUT shades of grey. when those things are black to me as plain as day.
Yeah, me too.anne said:
Cool. I only finished three semesters of college. Full time work and full time school was exhausting.
Best of luck to you. Welcome.
Truer words have not been spoken. I have two siblings who did not suffer the extent of abuse I did. They were spoiled, compared to me. They both are comfortable with the games people play : lying, backstabbing, selfishness, etc. Myself, I cannot deal with any games. I've tried. I just can't do it. I do look for fun, excitement and romance, but regardless of how great those experiences may be, one little lie may be enough to ruin the relationship for me. To me, dishonesty makes all the good times phony.blackhole said:
B
blackhole
Guest
yep
blackhole said:
Whats up? Thanks for replying. Its refreshing. I am new at this, I even have trouble texting but I do have to admit I am better at writing sometimes than verbalizing. You know it feels like I need to climb that mountain again that I managed to do in my thirties. This is vunerable and attract new friendships. I had moved since than to a gambling town in Nevada, went thru mulpible surgeries because of Chrohns Disease, lost my power and just ended a 27 year marriage. The second one to be exact. First marriage tore me in two, my husband turned out to be gay(being gay is fine) and I ran hard. I gave up on men for awhile and thought I was okay. Met second one and he turned out to be a cross-dresser. I did have children with him which Is my heart. But as you well know it takes too tango. Isn't it amazing how intellient we are but yet in the affairs of the heart we can be absolutly blind. Of course I could probably get a P.H.D. in discounting red flags. Is this making sense?
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