My daily reminder to never get married

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A Desolate Soul

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Yes. This is one reason I doubt I would ever get married to a man with children, unless he had full custody. I see no reason for my hard-earned income to go to his ex.
 
Every time I think about how nice it would be to be married again, I watch an episode of "Dr. Phil". That always cures me. :)

Teresa
 
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

EDIT: Both the ex and current wife suck...I hope they get what's coming to them.
 
Luna said:
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

****, sucks being a single father...

i can't imagine the backlash if males started dogging out single mothers on this board.

love is supposed to be about a person and is supposed to operate at a higher level above finances.

and, oh yeah, the woman in the conversation must not have heard the "for richer or for poorer" portion of the vows. :rolleyes:
 
blackhole said:
Luna said:
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

****, sucks being a single father...

i can't imagine the backlash if males started dogging out single mothers on this board.

love is supposed to be about a person and is supposed to operate at a higher level above finances.

and, oh yeah, the woman in the conversation must not have heard the "for richer or for poorer" portion of the vows. :rolleyes:

maybe those single fathers/mothers should have thought of that before having a kid? It just shows that they never did much thinking - ignorance.


 
beans said:
blackhole said:
Luna said:
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

****, sucks being a single father...

i can't imagine the backlash if males started dogging out single mothers on this board.

love is supposed to be about a person and is supposed to operate at a higher level above finances.

and, oh yeah, the woman in the conversation must not have heard the "for richer or for poorer" portion of the vows. :rolleyes:

maybe those single fathers/mothers should have thought of that before having a kid? It just shows that they never did much thinking - ignorance.

some of us weren't single when our children were born.

do you honestly think that single mothers and fathers are ignorant people?
 
blackhole said:
beans said:
blackhole said:
Luna said:
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

****, sucks being a single father...

i can't imagine the backlash if males started dogging out single mothers on this board.

love is supposed to be about a person and is supposed to operate at a higher level above finances.

and, oh yeah, the woman in the conversation must not have heard the "for richer or for poorer" portion of the vows. :rolleyes:

maybe those single fathers/mothers should have thought of that before having a kid? It just shows that they never did much thinking - ignorance.

some of us weren't single when our children were born.

sorry, I was talking about people who were single. But yeah...

I dunno, since we're on that topic, what is unnerving are men who are divorced with kid(s) and then write in their dating profile --> am not looking to have kids anymore.

Like whoa..you got your deal and now you expect the woman not to have kids just cause YOU've had them and had enough?


And I really really awe at parents who'd treat their spouses like crap but totally worship the child because hey its a biological thing and kids are innocent, aren't they? Not until they grow up to be adults and turn out exactly like them.



 
i am a single father AND i love kids.

i presently date a lovely lady with children.

if anything, i appreciate her more for being a mother.

mothers have true character.

and i agree with you, i've never understood the guys who write off women with children, especially if that guy (himself) has kids. that's very hypocritical.

i also agree with your statement about chicks just getting knocked up for the hell of it, that IS ignorance.

"my baby don't need no daddy".

ok, sure thing, see you on maury in about ten years.
 
blackhole said:
i am a single father AND i love kids.

i presently date a lovely lady with children.

if anything, i appreciate her more for being a mother.

mothers have true character.

and i agree with you, i've never understood the guys who write off women with children, especially if that guy (himself) has kids. that's very hypocritical.

i also agree with your statement about chicks just getting knocked up for the hell of it, that IS ignorance.

"my baby don't need no daddy".

ok, sure thing, see you on maury in about ten years.


Hmmm why do people who are married and are dating on this forum? They can't be lonely can they? If they are, then us singles are doomed. Coz lo and behold, we don't even have anyone to text and say 'hey baby'.


And about guys who have children from previous relationships, they usually say that to women who are single and have no children: "Look, I don't wanna have kids anymore." I just don't think its fair to the lady who has never had the chance to have kids.



 
It's actually just as fair as someone being uninterested in someone for whatever reason(s). To state in a dating profile "don't waste your time with me if you're open to the possibility of us creating children" is fair and honest. It will limit his options, and he no doubt knows this. But this is so much better than not telling her up front and then having to disappoint her later on down the road after she's grown emotionally attached.

Some men think some women aren't really all that interested in a relationship with the man. They just want to have their baby(ies) and jump into single motherhood. I wouldn't dare generalize women with this idea because that would be ridiculous. However, I **** sure wouldn't be surprised to find some, if not many, women who go into it with such an agenda. I love kids and I would LOVE to have a child or children to raise along side a love. But more important to me than simply having a child is being a FAMILY man in the traditional sense. Heck, if all I wanted was a child, there are plenty in need of adoption. To be a great father AND a great husband, all together in a happy home. I HOPE that I don't stumble across someone who can make me think that she's interested in US when all we'd really be headed for is her splitting and forcing me to be the guy that sees the child(ren) on the weekends. I don't do online dating, but if I did, I'd certainly prefer to know that I'd be dealing with someone who has this kind of an agenda. Somehow I think that would be seen as a ridiculous thing to hope for out of a profile...
 
jjam said:
It's actually just as fair as someone being uninterested in someone for whatever reason(s). To state that in a dating profile is to say "don't waste your time with me if you want children". I think it's fair and honest as opposed to not telling them up front and then having to disappoint her after she's grown emotionally attached.

It's not about telling people upfront or disappointing them later.

If I was looking for true love, I would not write in my dating profile that I don't want a relationship with a:

1) divorcee
2) divorcee with kids
3) divorcee with crazy exes

But if I was looking for convenience and to fulfill my own self interests via a relationship then I'd have a long list.
 
beans said:
Hmmm why do people who are married and are dating on this forum? They can't be lonely can they? If they are, then us singles are doomed. Coz lo and behold, we don't even have anyone to text and say 'hey baby'.


And about guys who have children from previous relationships, they usually say that to women who are single and have no children: "Look, I don't wanna have kids anymore." I just don't think its fair to the lady who has never had the chance to have kids.

i don't even know what to say to any of this.

so, i'll just say:

zippity-doo-dah! :D



beans said:
If I was looking for true love, I would not write in my dating profile that I don't want a relationship with a:

1) divorcee
2) divorcee with kids
3) divorcee with crazy exes

But if I was looking for convenience and to fulfill my own self interests via a relationship then I'd have a long list.

what?

it is hard enough to find love in life, you really shouldn't be making any exclusionary lists at all, lol. the chances of finding it are hard enough without adding self-imposed guidelines. love is love. i would date a divorcee, a single mother, a combination of both, or a one-legged hobbit if we had a spiritual connection.
 
But surely there are things you DON'T want from a guy. Let's pretend you don't want a guy who drinks to get drunk. Would you not list this, or would it be okay for you to hook up with a guy who drinks but doesn't make you aware of it until one night he's drunk enough to **** you up? It's good for both sides. Straight up honesty. Call it brutal, but it's really not brutal at all. I'm not sure how online dating scene goes, but I just imagined that's part of what the profiles are for. If it's not about finding your match, then what is it about?

You may not want to state this in your profile, but if you thought that by doing so you could reduce the potential drinkers you'd chance dating, wouldn't it be a good idea?
 
blackhole said:
Luna said:
That is why I won't date single fathers especially if the ex is still alive.

****, sucks being a single father...

i can't imagine the backlash if males started dogging out single mothers on this board.

love is supposed to be about a person and is supposed to operate at a higher level above finances.

and, oh yeah, the woman in the conversation must not have heard the "for richer or for poorer" portion of the vows. :rolleyes:

No it doesn't suck being a single father and there's no need to bash single mothers either.
There are plenty of women that would date you; plenty of men that would date single mothers - however, I am talking about *my* own preferences.
I am not dating you or interested in dating you - I am certain you feel likewise; so why take offense?
I never said "single fathers and single mothers are horrible".
I have plenty of my own reasons - and as unreasonable as they may be to another person - it's my dating life and no one elses.
I did start typing them out but then I thought...what's the point?

Just as well, I am not interested in dating smokers etc whereas others would be ok.
We are not obligated to date everyone that is available.
Of course it sucks to be excluded out as dating potential for reasons you can't control...I've been excluded for various reasons: race, appearance, body size, faith etc.
There are so many people in the world - if you're not included in one person's interest - who cares.
There's many other people that could match you.

As for love - yes. It is important to love a person. However, difficulties with finances often cause problems which changes how a person can feel towards another. I certainly would not date a person who continuously racked up debt; gambled; went on shopping sprees etc and didn't know how to keep a job.

However, if your comment was directed at those bloody-thirsty women in that post; then that is what I am not talking about in my above paragraph.

EDIT: Don't take offense or hold grudges okay...I didn't join ALL to argue with people. I never meant to hurt anyone with my comments - I just simply stated *my* own preferences. Best of luck to everyone. :)
 
Exactly, your reasons for not wanting to date various types of people for whatever reason aren't wrong or unfair. Same with the single fathers out there who aren't interested in having more kids. There are women out there who do not want to have their own children who would be perfect for said single dad, while the others can go for the men who do want more kids or haven't had any yet and want some.

I have no kids nor do I ever want any. The very thought of reproducing and raising someone gives me chills. :s Not to mention I am nearing 30 and in some respects am still waiting for my own life to start. :)
 
beans said:
Hmmm why do people who are married and are dating on this forum? They can't be lonely can they? If they are, then us singles are doomed. Coz lo and behold, we don't even have anyone to text and say 'hey baby'.

You can be incredibly lonesome while you have a significant other. I was infinitely more alone when I was with X than I am now. Do you really think texting somebody to say, "Hey baby" is enough to end loneliness? Just like a one night stand, conversation can be empty and cold, and leave you feeling even worse than you would have felt if you hadn't done it in the first place.
~~

Also. I don't think that to say I don't want to marry a man with children is the same as bashing on single fathers. I could be in a relationship with such a man. I just wouldn't get married until he was all done paying child support because the courts would add my income to the guy's and make me pay for his children. I have my own kid to take care of, my own life to pay for.
 

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