Is porn an art? If it is, why has it destroyed some marriages?

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beans

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I had a friend, a lady, who told me that her husband wanted her to commit some acts that he has watched on porn which she felt was too extreme for her. Anyways, she agreed to do one of it (anal sex) and it left her with physical pain and she is thinking of leaving her husband because it has gotten THAT bad. She says she no longer know him anymore.


Another friend of mine also tells me that her husband is addicted to porn. She told me this in her own words "My husband is addicted to porn. He is living in his own fantasy world. He doesn't know how to associate with a real person because of what he sees in porn. He thinks that I should comply with the things people do in porn. He thinks I should behave like the women in porn where they are gang banged, gagged, shoved with objects, threesomes, submission, etc etc."


 
when your goal for being in a relationship ceases to be loving and caring for that individual and instead becomes about using that person as a means to fulfill some specific fetish, yes, you've got a problem.
 
blackhole said:
when your goal for being in a relationship ceases to be loving and caring for that individual and instead becomes about using that person as a means to fulfill some specific fetish, yes, you've got a problem.

You are god. *me worships you*
 
blackhole said:
when your goal for being in a relationship ceases to be loving and caring for that individual and instead becomes about using that person as a means to fulfill some specific fetish, yes, you've got a problem.

Good answer.
 
First of all, art is a neutral word. Something being art doesn't mean that it can't have negative or positive influences.

To the anal sex case, if she agreed to it, it's her loss.
As for the other guy, the description is too vague. But yeah, people can misuse porn as they can everything else.
 
Ive never had anal sex. Not into porn when I can get the real deal.
Some women Ive been with wants me to do more than the missionary position with them.
For me....at least. The women Ive been with wants me to get nuaghty with them.
Different stroke for different folks.....

Geeezzz Beans....
Thats like me saying Budwiser is fucken evil and all the god **** breweries should be nuked.
Somewhere alone the line in this free society theres a thing call..stop blaming others and be responsible for your own life.
While Im at it....all the god **** kiddies with xbox or vedio gaming should be shot in the fucken head too...
Whats the fucken difference???....being addicted to whatever the fresia fantacy on a vedio screen wasting thier lives getting thier rocks off.
As alway,,when your addicted...your ganna justify the honeysuckle.

Addictions manifest itself in many forms. Kind da like 1000 forms of fear....
Lets blow up fucken Mckie D too...so the fucken fat people wont be fat no more.
 
Pheenix said:
To the anal sex case, if she agreed to it, it's her loss.

Um, what? If it hurts her even once and she decides that she can't bear it anymore, her husband ought to have the decency to understand. It is not a case of, well she agreed to it once, too bad, she has to take it whenever.

fresia THAT.

 
Is porn art? Well, that depends on which definition of art you prefer, doesn't it? Definitions of terms such as 'art' or 'culture' are never neutral but normative by definition, thus in certain views porn can be considered as art. I think however that the current general consensus on porn states that porn once had a chance of aiming at something more than flat commercialism, but that the boat has sailed on that (for now or forever?).

Why do marriages break up (over porn)? People change, just like their sexual preferences can change. The problem with porn is that it's supposed to be a manifestation of men's (it's mostly aimed at men, but there is some female friendly porn aswell) inner sexual desires, but at the same time it actually forms these desires.

Look at it this way: porn claims to be a representation of all sexual desires that are now supposedly common to our society. In reality however, porn doesn't only deliver what people want, it creates demand. Combine this with a male oriented viewpoint and you get a problem: sexual acts, aimed at men's pleasure, that objectify women.

In a way, it's only normal that this happens. Because, what is porn? Isn't it a manifestation of the rationalisation and mechanisation of love; of the separation between love and sex? Commercially speaking they have no choice but to objectify, as they appeal to a certain group of people and their imagination.
 
tangerinedream said:
Pheenix said:
To the anal sex case, if she agreed to it, it's her loss.

Um, what? If it hurts her even once and she decides that she can't bear it anymore, her husband ought to have the decency to understand. It is not a case of, well she agreed to it once, too bad, she has to take it whenever.

fresia THAT.

And from where do you get this statement? I didn't say she should take it whenever. Beans didn't say she should take it whenever. But she can't leave her husband for it ending up hurting. It's not like he knew that. When something hurts, you go "okay, it hurt" and stop. I don't see what the big deal is.



 
this all could have been prevented with a little thoughtful foreplay and a lot of lube!

jus sayn
 
I don't think its about whether porn is art, I don't even think its really an issue of porn in general, it's just more of a compatibility issue. If I like porn and want to reenact some of those things and you don't, that's just a level of incompatibility that both people have to determine if they're willing to tolerate. The same way if my wife wanted to follow her favorite rock band around the country and go to all her concerts but i don't even like rock at all. Should that be a knock against her preference in music? No, that's just one area where our viewpoints differ.

I think a lot of couples/spouses have a problem with porn viewing because it creates insecurities where they might feel that they're partner is no longer or as attracted to them and looks for more fulfilling pleasure in porn and that they can't measure up. It also adds to the fact that a lot of them might look at it as a slippery slope where they feel if they're spouse is so addicted to porn and just sex in general, and he doesn't express that with me or i can't comply with his request, then maybe he'll look for someone who can

Again, i think compatibility is the bigger overall issue

 
This is art to me....just sayin. :p
It dosnt show anything. We're ganna hang it up in our living room.
IMG000027a.jpg


Love her or hATE HER...sHE'S dE BOmb.
I ma MAKE a speacail room for her and hang all of her pics in there for her.
kimmi20111.png

kimmie5.jpg

206333_204388902926528_100000662593648_618553_5229773_n.jpg
 
Porn is not an art form in my book, but I have a very skewed point of view. If I am involved with someone, she is the only person I would ever want to look at. If something is on prime time tv - which means for the most part no nudity - I turn my head so I cant look. Some women liked the idea and others thought it was nuts because it was tv or not looking at other bodies as an art form. If I am involved with someone, I only have eyes for her no matter what - I am the guy version of a hopeless romantic.
 
I always just saw it as an entertainment medium. Never really thought about whether it would be considered "art" or not.
 
There should be a distinction made between porn, and the otherwise artsy world of erotica where lines between what has cultural value and what doesn't become blurred.

Nowadays, pornography is pure exploitation. These are films made purely for the purpose of stimulating the viewer, through acts of fantasy. In the 70's and 80's porn was more story driven, to the point it had many qualities which you could find in traditional filmmaking and for the most part, it was about the fun that comes with sexual freedom even bordering on romantic drama at times. There were nasties featuring BDSM, rape fantasies and incestual themes as those produced by Phil Prince of Avon Studios, but these were by and large not well known. You couldn't watch porn in the comfort at your own home in the days before VHS, you had to go to scuzzy theaters and jerk off in public such as in the infamous 42nd street district of New York.

Over time it came to increasingly focus on the act, rather than the context around it. Audiences started to seek extremes more regularly, and by the time the internet came around there was a distribution method which could not be beat. Anybody can explore themselves sexually online through pornographic means and be exposed to unique perversions, and nowadays it is just mainstream and expected of people to have a fetish of some kind. Not only men, but women too. I could not count the amount of girls I have talked to who have a rape fantasy. But, i'm getting off track. There is a distinction between pornography, and stuff like artistic nudes, erotica films, paintings of naked ladies etc. I pity anyone who can't look at the human body without thinking of jiggling flesh and inserting phalluses into holes, there is a beauty in both the female and male forms in its many variants. I do think porn has played a large role in shaping how we see the opposite sex, but it goes both ways for either genders when such niche interests as femdom and cuckolding husbands exist.

To me it just boggles the mind that a woman nowadays would consider a blowjob or anal too extreme to a point it will destroy relationships, when alt sex communities like Fetlife have become mainstream and display the social life of everyone on it and their deepest, darkest fantasies for all the world to see, which if you have not been exposed to is eye opening to the extreme. An understanding refusal is fine, but an immediate condemnation of their partner isn't just unless there is a significant amount of pressure on them to do it. Whilst love is deeply important part of a relationship being able to satisfy your partner sexually is undervalued sometimes, I think it becomes more of a question of looking at the institution of marriage and suitability of partners for one another rather than immediately blaming pornography for all of these social ills, to me it is a knee jerk reaction that downplays the complexity of the issue.
 
blackhole said:
this all could have been prevented with a little thoughtful foreplay and a lot of lube!

jus sayn

Even if my husband was the Sultan of Brunei or whoever that was very important, I ain't letting no d*ck near my assh*le. Nuh uh...no way hozey. I don't care how much foreplay and lube is involved, NO FREAKING WAY.

Lonesome Crow said:
This is art to me....just sayin. :p
It dosnt show anything. We're ganna hang it up in our living room.
IMG000027a.jpg


Love her or hATE HER...sHE'S dE BOmb.
I ma MAKE a speacail room for her and hang all of her pics in there for her.
kimmi20111.png

kimmie5.jpg

206333_204388902926528_100000662593648_618553_5229773_n.jpg

omg the last one looks like a tranny.
 
Lmao....

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder....
Sometimes she looks like me...sometimes she looks like her mom.

kimi22.jpg


Shes a chip off the old block :p
37FE.jpg
 
blackhole said:
this all could have been prevented with a little thoughtful foreplay and a lot of lube!

jus sayn

Ay. You sure about that? I don't think so and that's what I keep telling Mr. Midtown. But anyway...
To paraphrase a Supreme Court justice, I can't define porn but I know it when I see it. I've never seen any porn that I would call art. Most of us have seen fine art that features the naked human form but not in an exploitative way.
Whenever I see pornography (which usually features young women), I always think of a statistic I once heard that many of the women in porn are molest or rape victims. Far as I'm concerned they're just being victimized again. It's another form of sex trafficking.
For the OP, if a husband is addicted to porn and repeatedly asks his spouse to engage in acts that are demeaning and painful, there's a problem.

Teresa
 
Umm, they're both MARRIED. The husband shouldn't need to look at porn to feel good sexually, the husband need to look at his WIFE. Either they has a lack of communication between their husband or their husband just "wants someone better in bed".

Cause if I was married I wouldn't even need to look at porn for ideas, I have my own wife to experiment with every single day of my life.

But anyway, don't accept marriage advice from a teenager.
 

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