cell phone records:( HELP

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dukey

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I was and still in love with my former housemate. She is 21 and absolutly beautiful, me, I'm a 36 year old blue collar worker.. She teased me and played with my emotions for 4 straight months. It was torture but I always came back for more. She'd always talk about this boy or that boy. It killed me, I lost 50lbs!! Well she got a cell phone and I told her I'd add her to my plan. Big mistake. She has moved away now but we still talk or text daily. I feel awful when she doesn't contact me. Of course I looked at the cell phone records online and see the late night texts back and forth with one of these guys. It is tearing me up!! I want to tell her it was a mistake to put her on my plan and cancel the phone. This will probably end our contact all together. I know this is the right thing to do. I went to far for this girl. What does anyone out there think?? I need a cooler head's opinion. THANKS
 
Why did you put her on your plan in the first place? That just shows her how desperate you are, and gives her even more incentive to treat you like trash. Get rid of her. It's better to be lonely than being with such a person. What about her makes you love her?
 
dukey said:
I was and still in love with my former housemate. She is 21 and absolutly beautiful, me, I'm a 36 year old blue collar worker.. She teased me and played with my emotions for 4 straight months. It was torture but I always came back for more. She'd always talk about this boy or that boy. It killed me, I lost 50lbs!! Well she got a cell phone and I told her I'd add her to my plan. Big mistake. She has moved away now but we still talk or text daily. I feel awful when she doesn't contact me. Of course I looked at the cell phone records online and see the late night texts back and forth with one of these guys. It is tearing me up!! I want to tell her it was a mistake to put her on my plan and cancel the phone. This will probably end our contact all together. I know this is the right thing to do. I went to far for this girl. What does anyone out there think?? I need a cooler head's opinion. THANKS

Dukey, try and not do this to yourself. It aint' worth it. It's hurtin nobody but yourself. cancel it tomorrow if you have to, or throw that darn phone away, either one is better than what you'r doing to yourself right now. Cancel the dang phone service. all it takes is a phone call. (I know it's easier said than done, just know your situation isn't going to improve until you do).

My ex wife came in one afternoon and said, I'm filing for divorce, 2 hrs later she was gone, forever. I knew things had been "strange" for the last 6 mos. of the marriage, but it was a movin' target. I just couldn't figure out how things had gotten so weird. She had her mail forwarded to her new address in CLT. But, one day, her cell phone bill came here by mistake. it sat on the counter for a month. I never even really even thought that much about it, "I'll just mail it to her". But, for some reason, I cannot say why, I decided to open it to see if there was some clue, anything, to help me to understand what was going on w/ her. She had been talking to one of my co-workers, who lives in TX, anywhere from 3-5 hrs a day, everyday, for the last 6 mos. That got me to snoopin' around..., it turns out he'd been coming in to town, from TX, and stayin' at the holiday inn 4 blocks from the house.

I know this guy. I wanted to kill him. absolutely. I know that sounds "macho" or whatever, but the rage I felt is indescrible. (I didn't kill him, btw, lol) I've talked w/ other guys since (Heck I HAD to man!). You ain't crazy for feeling the way you do. But, drawing it out? The results are the same, you're just puttin' it off. lol (I don't mean to laugh, but I'm laughing w/ you because I can see, looking back, how dang HARD it is. It will get better Dukey. It DOES get better. Those feelin's your havin', they won't stay that intense. they'll go away after a length of time. (It's been just over a year since my wife left. Ain't perfect, but oh my god...well, at least I can feel more feelings now).

The sooner you can let it go, and put it behind you, the better off you will be. She's "in control", that is to say, she's doing things how/when/where she wants to. It's tough because she's been "processing" her feelings throughout the time you were together, on her timetable. Now? You think she's suffering? The sooner you put it behind you, the better off you'll be...imo

I still have to rant from time to time lol, but, even that grows old...negative energy, not worth it
 
I agree,get rid of the phone.The sooner the better.

Cosmic,sorry you had to go through that.Sounds like your alot stronger because of it.Good for you.
 
dukey said:
This will probably end our contact all together. I know this is the right thing to do. I went to far for this girl.
You sure know what to do then. ;)

If she's gone, it's best to cut it and let her go. It's not really healthy to keep hanging on to something or someone who isn't there anymore. You gotta move on for your own good. Hope things work out though :)
 
dukey said:
I was and still in love with my former housemate. She is 21 and absolutly beautiful, me, I'm a 36 year old blue collar worker.. She teased me and played with my emotions for 4 straight months. It was torture but I always came back for more. She'd always talk about this boy or that boy. It killed me, I lost 50lbs!! Well she got a cell phone and I told her I'd add her to my plan. Big mistake. She has moved away now but we still talk or text daily.

Weird. We seem to be in a similar situation. I'm 36 and made the mistake of falling for someone 16 years younger than me. See my post "why do I do things like this?" and you can have a good glimpse into my frustration. My point is, I think I understand how you feel.

If she's moved away, your best bet is to try and move on with your life. Maybe breaking off contact with her would be better for you in the long run. But believe me when I say I know how much easier a thing that is to say, than do.
 
dear Dukey,
I also know it's hard, and I know it sometimes seems almost impossible to do the reasonable thing our own brain is telling us to do.
but I have to go with everybody here, including you - the best thing is to cancel the phone, and, if you in any way can, kick her out of your life completely.
I've been in a bad relationship, it sucked the energy out of me, and I probably left it too late, but in the end I managed to cut him out of my life.
We haven't spoken to or seen each other for over two years now. I am weak, too, and I still sometimes google him (I know, I know), but with time it gets easier to resist those urges. With time it gets easier to believe the voice in your head (which is telling the truth) that it's better being alone than in a toxic relationship. Seriously.
And hopefully you will find someone to fill the void sooner than I have. Someone good.
 
jamie said:
and I still sometimes google him (I know, I know), but with time it gets easier to resist those urges.
You mean you google Google him?
If you meant google Google, then I was just having random thoughts that you could probably try googling about yourself to steer away from googling on your ex. :D
You could even do it just for fun lol..
 
Dukey

I don't see anything particularly "wrong" with what you're doing. It's human. But, life's about choices. This may go on for another year. Heck, you might even marry the worman. All I meant to say is, if you're expecting some miraculous turn around in who she is, and what she's about, you might be in for a long wait.
 
mimizu said:
Why did you put her on your plan in the first place? That just shows her how desperate you are, and gives her even more incentive to treat you like trash. Get rid of her. It's better to be lonely than being with such a person. What about her makes you love her?

Well said
 
thanks alot folks, I told her I looked at the records and wanted to cancel the phone. Her reaction was to say that this would be the end of our friendship ( over a phone!!!) and after all i did for her. She said I was obsessed with her and to have a nice life. (probably true) needless to say the phone is cancelled, she has removed me from her facebook and there is no contact. I guess our time together didn't mean a thing.Which really hurts. The pain right now is crippling. sometimes I wish I kept up the facade and we just slowly faded away...The lonliness is horrible, I wake up all night and it fels like someone is squeezing my heart and stepping on my chest. I have started to see a doctor to understand why I get like this everytime a relationship doesn't work out. Is it so wrong for someone to care about ME??
 
mimizu said:
Why did you put her on your plan in the first place? That just shows her how desperate you are, and gives her even more incentive to treat you like trash. Get rid of her. It's better to be lonely than being with such a person. What about her makes you love her?
Her absolute beauty and charisma, her excitement for life, her energy. I never wanted any other girl as much as I wanted her. She gave nothing though!! I was a weak sucker basically
 
dukey said:
mimizu said:
Why did you put her on your plan in the first place? That just shows her how desperate you are, and gives her even more incentive to treat you like trash. Get rid of her. It's better to be lonely than being with such a person. What about her makes you love her?
Her absolute beauty and charisma, her excitement for life, her energy. I never wanted any other girl as much as I wanted her. She gave nothing though!! I was a weak sucker basically

I'm sure she's beautiful and charismatic. Exciting...energetic.

But, what about her definition of what friendship is.... dukey?

edit: I was forced to get help..... to find some perspective...that's really all I should say...

good luck dukey
 
Beauty can be intoxicating- but - very deceiving. Next time don't place it in such high esteem. It's the heart which rests inside the person that counts. And to know the heart of someone else..takes a long time.
 
Cosmic Kid, you're post makes me cringe really ******* badly, I feel that energy vibe from here.

man you must be pissed. and so am I.
 
dukey said:
thanks alot folks, I told her I looked at the records and wanted to cancel the phone. Her reaction was to say that this would be the end of our friendship ( over a phone!!!) and after all i did for her. She said I was obsessed with her and to have a nice life. (probably true) needless to say the phone is cancelled, she has removed me from her facebook and there is no contact. I guess our time together didn't mean a thing.Which really hurts. The pain right now is crippling. sometimes I wish I kept up the facade and we just slowly faded away...The lonliness is horrible, I wake up all night and it fels like someone is squeezing my heart and stepping on my chest. I have started to see a doctor to understand why I get like this everytime a relationship doesn't work out. Is it so wrong for someone to care about ME??
know its hard. but so glad u stood up 4 urself
 

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