Why do people leave ALL?

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mmm, I don't participate much in the debate because I feel I don't fit it much with the rest (feeling lonely in a forum about loneliness, ain't that ironic) but there seem to be a bunch of interesting people and views, so I am mostly a leecher, or rather, an observer. Probably when one finds a way out of loneliness, one doesn't come here anymore, unless one has made close friends here. Forums are weird, noncommittal.
 
hello my name is loketron, and i was an active member....i guess.....2008-2010(?)

I guess i stopped posting on all because i got back into a relationship after mending my heart after the big one years ago.
since then ive had a few people come in and out of my life and did some fixing to my messy life and i honestly don't have the time to be a active poster, looking for a career while still working, volunteering my time when needed and going out of town to see my current girlfriend whenever i can
every now and then ill poke my head in and see if there is anyone here i recognize but i don't know if anyone who would recognize me is still here.

i came in today and saw this thread and though i would finally say something........so..........hii!
 
Peaches said:
mmm, I don't participate much in the debate because I feel I don't fit it much with the rest

Maybe you are experiencing the problem which makes you feel lonely in the first place. A feeling of not fitting in anywhere.

In my opinion you must fight against this and resolve it. How? Maybe by trying to find a sense of belonging here.
 
People come and go, from here, from everywhere. You just know when it's time to go...when it's not helping you anymore...when you aren't lonely anymore...etc etc etc. Everyone who leaves has a different reason for leaving.
 
Callie said:
People come and go, from here, from everywhere. You just know when it's time to go...when it's not helping you anymore...when you aren't lonely anymore...etc etc etc. Everyone who leaves has a different reason for leaving.

This.
 
Yup, have to concur. I asked myself the same question more than once.
I personally might be leaving for a certain period of time, but not forever. I like to drop back and visit places in my youth lol.
Sadly, most of the internet has changed and the places I used to frequent are pretty much gone, but I get the feeling here will remain for quite a while. SO I'll be back, be it in a week, a month, a year, because this place has been good for me, in the possible worst moment of my life, completely by happenstance and the people I've met on here I can only be sad for leaving, because they have been an invaluable, irreplaceable source of strenght in the ordeal that tortures me. I'm sad I can't shake their hands or kiss their cheeks and remain hopeful I'll be able to give back someday.

That's my reason for possibly leaving. But like all good things and places, you always end up coming back.
 
I left for a while, but now I'm back. I had a hectic life in between with school and work but things are finally starting to fall into place. I don't really want anyone to know I surf on A Lonely Life, so I only use it when I'm alone which isn't very often these days, but things are different at work now and I will be surfing it at work. So this time my stay will be more long haul. I'm curious if others had the same issue and didn't mention it, not wanting people to know you visit A lonely Life, for some people it's hard to tell others "I'm Lonely" and visiting a site with this name sounds like just that, and there's nothing wrong with that either.
 
For me, it's definitely a feeling like I don't fit in or belong here. I check the forums sometimes but don't feel like I have anything useful to add that hasn't been said already.
 
athelas88 said:
For me, it's definitely a feeling like I don't fit in or belong here. I check the forums sometimes but don't feel like I have anything useful to add that hasn't been said already.

Hi athelas88 I shouldn't worry about fitting in ive given up on that notion and just do my own thing and express myself in my own way- some will like it some wont, cant please everybody. :) I appreciated youre comments on different topics and im sure you have more to say.  How about starting a thread on something youre interested in or enjoy and see what happens :) I think youll be pleasantly surprised by the response- best of luck :D
 
I take long breaks depending on how busy I am focusing on other things. I imagine that for a lot of people, their time on a forum is pretty limited to when they really need it, and have the time/energy to be posting regularly. They're probably okay even after they've left, maybe even are no longer lonely.

I have a new work schedule and a lot going on so I don't post much. Forums aren't enough socializing, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've found advice online that I can actually apply to my problems. Mostly people can just offer sympathy, or it's useless advice like "just get a new job" for work-related concerns, etc. So I try to work through things alone.
 
Tealeaf said:
I take long breaks depending on how busy I am focusing on other things. I imagine that for a lot of people, their time on a forum is pretty limited to when they really need it, and have the time/energy to be posting regularly. They're probably okay even after they've left, maybe even are no longer lonely.

I have a new work schedule and a lot going on so I don't post much. Forums aren't enough socializing, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've found advice online that I can actually apply to my problems. Mostly people can just offer sympathy, or it's useless advice like "just get a new job" for work-related concerns, etc. So I try to work through things alone.

There are some good chatrooms that are related to ALL if you're interested. It's usually much more social PM me if you're interested and I can direct you. :)
 
Badjedidude said:
There are many reasons why people both come and go from this site.

Everyone is free to do what they feel is best for them at any particular time. :)

Correct!.
 
Tealeaf said:
Mostly people can just offer sympathy, or it's useless advice like "just get a new job" for work-related concerns, etc. So I try to work through things alone.

It actually upsets me that 99% of everyone I know, online or off, only does this. I had real problems after a breakup earlier this year and I desperately needed people to talk/vent/help.

All I got from most of them was "Well, I'm sorry that happened to you" and it did not help at all. I wanted so badly for someone to offer me advice or even offer to do something for me, help, etc.
If the situations were reversed, I would do nothing but offer myself, solutions, anything I could.

Only one friend, that I randomly met earlier the same year and is 10+ years younger than me to boot; only he actually offered to help me. He couldn't sit back and see how I was hurting, despite how little we'd actually talked or knew each other, and he partnered with me for a solution to at least try and help.
And it didn't work, but just the fact I got to TRY and had someone assist me I could count on meant so much. Without him, I don't know what would've happened to me, to be honest. The way I was, so frantic, I might've done something really stupid or finally just lost it. He has no idea how much what he did meant to me.
And it's so sad that people think "sympathy" alone is the way to go when people close to them sometimes just need help.

I feel I'm at a level now where I won't ever be at that level state, even if the same kind of trauma happens again, so I guess that's more self-reliant.... but I feel almost everyone wishes for that someone who wants to not only listen, but help at the same time. Pity that's so rare.

It takes a whole lot of inner strength to be able to tackle such things alone, so if you've actually managed, I'm impressed.
 

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