Have any of you gotten counesling? Has it helped you?

I havent been on this forum in awhile, but it has been helpful to me in the past and I read some insightful things on here sometimes. I've recently been feeling down a lot. I'm 22 almost done with college and feel like lost with my life. I have zero friends for many reasons. I've always been socially awkward and I am an introvert so while I crave some social interaction too much of it is too much for me to handle. On top of this Ive been dealing with acne since I was like 12, so I have like even less self-esteem. I sort of just don't like myself much at all. Feel like it's impossible to make friends or get a girlfriend when I don't have any confidence in myself. For a few years I was relatively happy being alone. I sort of tried to convince myself I was fine with being so isolated. I think that I cannot handle that so good anymore and have been feeling like honeysuckle a lot more often.

I've started thinking maybe I need some help to deal with my issues and hope getting counseling could help. I am a bit terrified of doing this though. I've been looking at the website for my school's counseling department for about 2 weeks now and finally worked up the courage to call and make an appointment today. Have it on mon oct 10.

So, I was wondering if any of you here have had similar problems to me, or have gotten counseling before. I've never seen a counselor before. Has counseling helped any of you guys?

I really feel for you and your situation. Im 33 but can remember when i was 22 and feeling a little the same as you although i did have some friends i was truly unhappy with my life no money, no education no job, i actually thought about suicide at one point. I also had bad acne to no confidence hated how i looked.. I wish i knew about counselling when i was that age cus i had no one to talk to about my problems and never herd of a counsellor before.

I did have counselling when i was 30 for somethink completly different and it helped so please book an appointment straight away. Basically counselling will allow you to explore your feelings and enpower you to make posative choses in your life. If you wana ask any more questions to me your more than welcome

nathan

Err...I saw a theropist. All he did was listen to me and take notes...which
is kind of retadred cuz I didnt say much.lmao

I do attend support groups. I ll meet different peopLe. Its kindda theraputic in a way becuase they understand me becuase they actaully lived it and experinced first hand. Plus sometimes we can laugh and joke about ourselve for all the crazy honeysuckle we done and lived through. Its a healing and connection process.

as far as conselor or sponsors gose...
I dont fucken follow instructions
too will.....but my sponsor is very understanding of me...kind da like a free conselor that Ill drive fucken nots.

A lot of it is becuase when I get into self destructive mode...I just dont really give a fresia...Its kind da reverse for me...
Becuase Ill party my ass off and do lots of women ..liing in sin on overdrive kindda thing. Social skill? Im too messed up to worry about social skills. I ll just do whatever is clever....

I'm having counselling now and am finding it a lifeline. My present situation is really difficult and I don't have anyone else to turn to for support or who will listen to me, so knowing that for 50 minutes a week there is someone who will concentrate on me is keeping me going. I hope that your counsellor, when you see him or her, is really helpful and that you get sorted out.

I have, some good some bad, have been given meds that had sucidal side effects, when the doc knew I was already half way there put me on the drug guess what happened, when I lost my job. There are some good things online like self help ideas like the post about vibrating on here strange term but some of the ideas sound simillar to what I have been told. It takes time to turn things round if you in a real bad place just try take it day by day until strong enough to push further. Google books have some top books you can read on depression help you figure out how your head is ticking and beat it at its own game at beating you up.

Counseling helped me understand the concept of empathy, so, yes.

Good for you, for looking into something that will help you. If I'd have had the balls to do that on my own earlier, without getting into crisis mode, my life might be a lot different right now.

You'll get out of counselling what you put into it. I had some when I went through a very rough time a little over a year ago, and it helped a lot - both in dealing with the immediate issue and in figuring out what got me to that point. That said, it helped because I was really dedicated to making it help.

As long as you don't expect superhuman counselors to fix all of your problems for you, but are instead willing to work along with them, it could be a very good thing for you. Good luck.

I saw a therapist for years, but several times they were changed on me and frankly I just got sick of getting used to someone and then having to start the process over again. So I quit.

dresta2000 said:

Basically counselling will allow you to explore your feelings and enpower you to make posative choses in your life.

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I'm going to +1 dresta here.

Often times a therapist can hold your hand as you are taken through your thoughts and emotions. They will help you understand something you may be struggling with.


It's not always for everyone. Support groups (there are some for everything) may be of more use. A psychologist can not prescribe medication so don't be afraid they'll start shoving pills down your throat.

Also research therapists. There are a ton of sites related to reviewing businesses and even mental health professionals. Do everything in your power to make your first visit an effective and meaningful one.


Best of luck.

I've been through therapy over a few seperate occasions.

Obviously it'll depend on the quality and style of your therapy, but I got a lot out of it.
What I went through was what's called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - basically discussing my frame of mind and interpretation of events, and discussing the meaning I gave to those events, and changing that so I could interpret these in a more healthy manner.

Obviously I can't gurantee that any therapy you have will be helpful - but in terms of reframing my interpretation of events in my life, I found it very helpful.

The only form of counseling I've so far experienced was in high school, tenth grade. My English teacher was outraged by an analysis I wrote on To Kill a Mockingbird that made the rabid dog look like a martyr. She thought I was seriously mental, and that paper was the final straw for her- in reality I was only trying to write something different from everyone else, it was all tongue in cheek really. So she arranged for me to meet regularly with the school's counselor. After a few weeks of meeting with the counselor I noticed a significant improvement in my ability to talk with someone comfortably and look at them in the eyes. Unfortunately this improvement was only temporary, but it was a nice learning experience in which I realised my capability to better myself and increase my self-esteem.

So yes, I would say it helped me to an extent. And if I wasn't ashamed to get help, I would still be meeting with a counselor.

I agree that counseling is not for everyone, though it's worth a try if you're hitting rock bottom.

I've counseled myself.

It worked for me!

Hey,

It's now the 19th Oct... how did your appointment go ?

I really relate to a lot of the things you said in the opening post to this thread. I really feel for you =x

I've never considered counselling myself. But quite honestly, I don't think I believe in it.

I believe that -you- are your best counsellor, and no-one else. I know it sounds really easy to say, but it actually isn't. I've always asked myself what things I'm doing wrong, why I end up getting treated like I do etc. But I think I know those answers the best, and some of them I can change by trying to rectify mistakes I've made... the others I have to live with because I am who I am.

Firstly, I would suggest that you don't be afraid of who you are; you say you have zero friends for many reasons... Don't blame yourself for those reasons. Believe in yourself Not in counsellors! Again I know it's easy to say... I lack the self confidence to believe in myself pretty much... But sometimes, to an extent, I think you need to try and put that lack of self confidence to one side, and approach those people you want to know... Not so far that you stop being yourself, but enough to open yourself up to let those people get to know your real self

I hope this doesn't sound too philosophical or ambiguous =x. Let us know how your appointment went

Ak5 said:

I've counseled myself.

It worked for me!

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Hahah, nice!

DreamerDeceiver said:

Ak5 said:

I've counseled myself.

It worked for me!

Click to expand...

Hahah, nice!

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Thanks.

Sort of forgot about this thread haha. My second appointment is today. The first meeting with the counselor went well I guess. I was really nervous as I'd never done counseling before but the guy was pretty cool and understanding. It was a tough hour, but I felt a little better afterwards for being able to vent a little. I normally don't discuss my problems with anyone and hadn't admitted most of my issues to anyone before. I don't expect therapy to be some magic instant cure, but hope maybe it can help me look at my issues in a different way. I know that a main problem of mine is that I lack confidence and self esteem. Hoping maybe therapy can help me fix that somehow. I've tried on my own to singlehandedly use my power of will to make myself get over my issues, but that hasn't worked too well so far haha. I know that ultimatley my problems are my own and that I will have to work on them myself, but hoping that therapy can help guide me and give me more perspective on what I am doing.

21acceptedbeingalone said:

Sort of forgot about this thread haha. My second appointment is today. The first meeting with the counselor went well I guess. I was really nervous as I'd never done counseling before but the guy was pretty cool and understanding. It was a tough hour, but I felt a little better afterwards for being able to vent a little. I normally don't discuss my problems with anyone and hadn't admitted most of my issues to anyone before. I don't expect therapy to be some magic instant cure, but hope maybe it can help me look at my issues in a different way. I know that a main problem of mine is that I lack confidence and self esteem. Hoping maybe therapy can help me fix that somehow. I've tried on my own to singlehandedly use my power of will to make myself get over my issues, but that hasn't worked too well so far haha. I know that ultimatley my problems are my own and that I will have to work on them myself, but hoping that therapy can help guide me and give me more perspective on what I am doing.

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This is exactly the perspective to take - good for you. I'm glad to hear that the first session went well - it's a very good sign that you were able to vent to your counselor already. Keep up the work and the outlook - who knows where it will take you soon?

21acceptedbeingalone said:

Sort of forgot about this thread haha. My second appointment is today. The first meeting with the counselor went well I guess. I was really nervous as I'd never done counseling before but the guy was pretty cool and understanding. It was a tough hour, but I felt a little better afterwards for being able to vent a little. I normally don't discuss my problems with anyone and hadn't admitted most of my issues to anyone before. I don't expect therapy to be some magic instant cure, but hope maybe it can help me look at my issues in a different way. I know that a main problem of mine is that I lack confidence and self esteem. Hoping maybe therapy can help me fix that somehow. I've tried on my own to singlehandedly use my power of will to make myself get over my issues, but that hasn't worked too well so far haha. I know that ultimatley my problems are my own and that I will have to work on them myself, but hoping that therapy can help guide me and give me more perspective on what I am doing.

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That's the right attitude. I imagine that you'll do great - keep it up.

*edit* Had no idea when starting this that I would write a giant ass blob of text, but have been feeling really bad lately so needed to vent I guess.

Thought I'd update this thread for anyone that cared. I went to that therapist about 3 times total, but stopped because he was so busy that I could see him like only once a month or longer. Plus he was a counselor at the university, and I ended up failing that semester due to being depressed and honeysuckle. I just sort of stopped caring/couldn't deal with school and stopped going to class. As a result, I now have to wait until the fall to finish up my degree. In a way me failing that semester might have been a good thing. It forced me to tell my family that Ive been depressed and isoloated for a long time. Was a difficult Christmas when I was back there heh. My family at least know of my problems now and I dont have to hide it from them anymore.

Ive started seeing a therapist on my health insurance now, so I should be able to see him more regularly than the last one. I'm also going to be starting up a social anxiety therapy group at the start of March. I am hoping that this will be something of great use to me. Because my social anxiety is something I know I really need to deal with. I have a hope, maybe a stupid one, that I might be able to make some friends with people in that group. I usually feel extremely awkward around people and like disconnected from them. Especially super happy people since I dont share much in common with them heh. Am thinking at least the people at this group and I would have some common ground as we have similar issues. I sort of dont want super happy/ perfect friends heh. I feel too different from people like that.

Ugh though. Therapy seems to make me feel like extremely shitty sometimes. The session I had last night made me just feel so bad after I got out of it. Just admitting all my problems out loud was tough, especially since Id been ignoring them for so long. I finally admitted something to the therapist that I havent told anyone ever besides my doctor too. It's embarassing as fresia, but its a big part of why I feel depressed and sort of think I might not have any choice but to be alone for the rest of my life. My penis is messed up basically. It has curved to the left for as long as I remember and its always been a bit painful sometimes just when I have an erection. I saw a doctor a few years ago and he thought it was nothing serious, but he didnt really pay too close attention to it, sort of just dismissed it. When I tried to have sex it hurt so much I had to stop and it was humiliating as hell. After that I havent even really put much effort into getting a girlfriend because I am terrified as hell of another girl seeing my problem. 2 weeks ago it seemed to get worse and now I cannot get an erection at all basically. It starts to hurt really bad when I start to get one, so I have to stop it. The curve seems like it got worse too. I am going to see a urologist about it, but Ive done a lot of research about this and im pretty certain im messed for life. Basically my only option will be a surgery, which has very low chances of fixing the problem. So I cannot help but think about how I have like no chance of maintaining a relationship if I cannot have intercourse at all. And it just pissed me off and makes me feel like I got dealt such a shitty hand in life. I mean dammit our biological goal in life is to have sex to reproduce. That is why sex feels so pleasurable and people strive for it so much. I cannot even ******* enjoy that, sex causes me ******* pain. Its just sick twisted irony to me. So yea Even when I can see myself getting over my social anxiety, acne, and other problems I just cannot imagine a very happy future for myself because of my penis problem. Some people might say to this that "sex isnt that important" or whatever but god dammit I am 23 and I dont ever get to enjoy it. Instead Im probably going to always feel like honeysuckle about this and realistically what girl would want to be with a guy long term that cannot have sex when she could get a guy that can?

So yea, on my walk out/ bus ride home I just felt like such honeysuckle, almost started like crying on the bus I felt so bad. Like I was surrounded by people, but just felt so alone type of thing. How I feel most days, see the other people my age all happy, chatting with their friends or significant others and it just seems like a type of life I can never attain. I just feel like hopeless for my life. I dont know if I am going to be able to handle this forever and cannot see myself being all that happy if I am alone forever too. Admitting this problem to my therapist made me feel sort of better at the time since I finally told someone about that issue. Felt like I was lying to him if I didnt tell him since its a big cause of my depression. He understandably couldn't say much to make me feel better about this issue heh, although he tried. Like I was feeling so bad I just wanted anything to take my mind off the pain I was feeling. Wanted to just drink or take something to alter my state of mind it was so bad. I can see how people use drugs and honeysuckle. I had such a urge to forget my pain and honeysuckle that I almost craved to take a drug even though I never have done anything more than smoking pot years back. I didnt do any drugs or drink, but resorted to my normal means of escaping reality. I played some video games and watched some tv. Thats the only thing that makes me somewhat happy it seems, is when I distract myself from reality.

Sorry for the novel. I'd be surprised really if people read through it all. I guess I am just venting and trying to be honest with myself about what I feel and honeysuckle. Dont do that much heh. I'll shut the hell up now.

TLDR edition:

starting therapy more consistently this time
starting social anxiety group
feel hopeless as fresia about the future, on top of my other issues I have a broken cock basically. Cannot see a future without me being alone and miserable and dont know how long I can cope with that.