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penguin

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im a loser. and im coming to the realization that i just have to quit trying to fight it and that i need to accept it.

ive never been able to hold down a job. ive never been able to follow though with anything. i barely graduated highschool, and who even cares about that, i mean everybody (most normal people) graduate HS, its nothing to be that excited about. im in my late 20's and im just now starting college. but its community college. nothing to be all that proud of.

"wow you are almost 30 and just STARTING college"........

ive never had much luck with women. ive had several relationships but none ever pan out. no kids, never married. im in a relationship now but its winding down. were sick of each other but its complicated since we have little money and live together. we rarely have sex.

i feel stupid everyday. i struggle in all my classes. im in "introductory algebra", meaning lower math. im terrible at it. i have to stay late everyday with the teacher so she can try to get it to make sense to me. i goto tutoring. yeah, tutoring. i dont see everybody else having to goto tutoring. this reinforces that yes, im stupid.

im uncomfortable in all my classes. i dont talk to anybody or have much at all of a social life. i drink beer and watch tv. and even that is getting old. i like football, but no matter what team i root for, they lose. i dont even know why i bother cause it just upsets me.

i feel like im here to validate everybody elses happiness and success in life. to have winners, we must have losers. well, im the loser. im so sick of being "happy" for everybody else and their victories.

"we got married. we are having a baby. i met a new girlfriend. i graduated college. i got promoted at my job. im making more money. i bought something nice."..............yeah well F you. F you. i dont care. those are all things im never going to get to do so F you. why should i be happy for you? why?

im stuck sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everybody else get to have all the fun.
 
And if you stopped drinking and focused more on learning, possibly checking what conceptual difficulties that you might have, don't you think that you could do better?
 
Look. I don't care if you are 30 and starting college. The point is you are getting an education. There are people right now older than you who never gone to college and that does not make them losers. You are blessed to be able to go.
So your in introductory algebra. Get through that and you will be in Algebra 1. We all have to start from the bottom. No one has gotten to algebra 1 or 2 without going through introductory. It's callled paying the piper. Your doing what everyone else that is in a higher class has had to do. Your not a loser! You struggle with the math and that's ok because eventually YOU WILL GET IT and then you can be proud of your accomplishment.
You said to have winners, we must have losers? Life isn't a competition. Don't measure yourself by other people. This is your life to be lived in accordance to how you see fit. You can have what you see other people have, but you have to pay the price for it and right now that price is getting through math and going to college and being broke. This is your life right now but it's not going to be your life forever. The only way you will ever be a loser is if you quit. You are capable and as worthy and as important as anyone walking on this earth. You just need to see that and you need support. I'm glad your here.
 
I think you are doing really well, and that you are in no way a loser. You have gone back to college, and even though you are finding it difficult there, you haven't left. Going to extra tutoring does not mean you are stupid. It means that you have the courage and the intelligence to acknowledge that you are struggling with the work and are doing what you can to put this right. When it comes to relationships, I am a lot older than you and am still really hopeless at them, so at least you have an advantage over me in that you have many more years to get sorted out relationshipwise.
 
penguin said:
im a loser. and im coming to the realization that i just have to quit trying to fight it and that i need to accept it.

ive never been able to hold down a job. ive never been able to follow though with anything. i barely graduated highschool, and who even cares about that, i mean everybody (most normal people) graduate HS, its nothing to be that excited about. im in my late 20's and im just now starting college. but its community college. nothing to be all that proud of.

"wow you are almost 30 and just STARTING college"........

ive never had much luck with women. ive had several relationships but none ever pan out. no kids, never married. im in a relationship now but its winding down. were sick of each other but its complicated since we have little money and live together. we rarely have sex.

i feel stupid everyday. i struggle in all my classes. im in "introductory algebra", meaning lower math. im terrible at it. i have to stay late everyday with the teacher so she can try to get it to make sense to me. i goto tutoring. yeah, tutoring. i dont see everybody else having to goto tutoring. this reinforces that yes, im stupid.

im uncomfortable in all my classes. i dont talk to anybody or have much at all of a social life. i drink beer and watch tv. and even that is getting old. i like football, but no matter what team i root for, they lose. i dont even know why i bother cause it just upsets me.

i feel like im here to validate everybody elses happiness and success in life. to have winners, we must have losers. well, im the loser. im so sick of being "happy" for everybody else and their victories.

"we got married. we are having a baby. i met a new girlfriend. i graduated college. i got promoted at my job. im making more money. i bought something nice."..............yeah well F you. F you. i dont care. those are all things im never going to get to do so F you. why should i be happy for you? why?

im stuck sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everybody else get to have all the fun.

The first thing you have to stop doing is calling yourself a looser. We are what we make ourselves. There's no way anyone will have any respect for you if you don't have respect for yourself. So...

I quit high school. When I quit my grade was 30 because life sucked and I was not trying. I joined the Air Force and was out in one year. I got a GED in the Air Force. I started a religious coffee house and was fired by my own board for not locking a door. I started college but didn't go through with it. In '82 I started back to college. I was 24. I didn't graduate until 1989. I was 32. I dropped algebra 3 times. I lucked into getting my math credit by taking an education course on elementary level math. (My boy's 6th grade math is over my head! Advanced math is not my thang.) Who gives a honeysuckle about math, just get through it. Unless you want to be a nuclear scientist of something algebra will be left behind.

I didn't get kids until I was 45 or so, and those were adopted.

I've worked at two or three dozen jobs, everything from cooking and truck driving to welfare casework. The longest job I've had was 3 1/2 years. I've started businesses and religious organizations plenty that went nowhere. And I've managed to have only a hand full of friends through the years. I have been fortunate to have found a woman who has stuck with all my crazy life but otherwise, you're not so different from me.

In the eyes of the "world" I might be an exceptional looser. But the world is full of honeysuckle. Whatever people might think I know who I am and what I am and I am **** sure not a looser. Everything I've done, all my experiences, total up to something very valuable. And I am a good person, whatever schmucks might think.

Winning and loosing has nothing to do with the bull honeysuckle many people say it does. I consider twenty five years at the same job equivalent to death. Stuck in a rut is death. And those who are conformists, who do the college/marriage/two kids thing, are no better off than I am. If someone has never failed then they've never really stuck their neck out and tried. I've had the guts to try. And I've had the guts to get up and try again.

Judge yourself by who you are, not what you've accomplished.

As far as relationships, non are perfect. For one to work in the long run it takes a truck load of patience, a train load of respect, and a belief that the relationship is worth making it work. Sex is not the end-all. It's a lie of our modern world that if we don't romp in the hay every five minutes we're loosing out. That's such a total crock. Sex is nice, when it's nice, and it sucks when it isn't. But a relationship that requires constant sex isn't much of a relationship. A lasting relationship is based upon something far deeper than the physical.

Figure out what you want to do. Talk it over with your significant other. Find the middle ground for the both of you. And then get busy. Sure, you'll get pissed, depressed, sometimes all messed up, so what? Just be sure you don't do something so stupid when you're in a funk that you can't get out of it the next day. There WILL be a next day. The sun comes up. People go about their lives.

Oh, btw, my team was always the Houston Oilers and is now the Texans.

Being "normal" is totally overrated and extremely boring. Giddup off your ass and get busy, dude, life ain't nowhere near over for you.
 
Welcome to the forums.

I agree with the others, stop calling yourself a loser and maybe cut out the drinking.

So you struggle in math, heck I do too, I'm terrible at math. My teachers answer to that problem was to hand you a calculator, which was great except for when they wouldn't allow you to use one for tests. Then they had to start letting those of us that needed to, which was really embarrassing. So I know how you feel. Just this morning I was loading up scaffold for a customer, and it was all on a moments notice, I had no time to figure out what he all needed. I was trying to do it in my head. I felt so stupid, I was taking my glove and marking lines on the wall to figure out how many planks we needed. The other guy figured it out in his head. I counted them as we loaded them and I got it wrong! We had one extra in his trailer. You know what I did? I told the customer I should have told him earlier I suck at math. He laughed, I made a joke about it and didn't feel so stupid after. I do that all the time, I will be the first to admit I suck at math, and I just joke around about it. Nothing I can do now. You should try that.

Those who can't make fun of themselves. :D

You know what's not right in your life, that is a huge starting point. Seems like you need to figure you out and focus on that for awhile. I commend you for going back to school, and A LOT of people are doing that at all kinds of different ages. I have a cousin your age that is going back to college. When I was in college there were guys in their 50's who were upgrading their skills.

Like Ted said, being normal is overrated. Way overrated, and no fun.

Btw I like your username.
 
i hear what everybody is saying here but still, i cant lie to myself anymore. this isnt a new problem, ive felt like this for years and years now. always holding on to hope that things will get better, that things will turn around, that my day will come. i cant lie to myself anymore. i have to face the FACTS............

im never going to amount to anything. im never going to be successful in anything i try to do. happiness is for everybody else and not meant for me. these things are just the facts and the plain truths. i cant turn a blind eye to it anymore.

i dont see how people can say things like "you are doing really well" and "you are so smart". if i was doing well, i woulndt be here. if i was so smart, i woundnt be struggling in a lower level math class and other classes. i wouldnt be in community college in the first place, not to mention in my late 20's. i wouldnt be here on this website either. so how am i doing so well in life? i say quit the BS and tell it like it is.

one of you said that i will only be a loser if i quit. really? so sitting though a class the entire semester, being miserable, and ending up with a D or F grade is success? really? come on.

i hate myself and i hate "learning". this all seems like so much frustration and work for such a little pay off. oh wow, an Associates degree. big deal. an Associates degree doesnt mean much of anything. its practically worthless.

i wish i could just get it over with and make everybody happy and end my life. that way everybody can say "oh we are right, he is worthless/stupid/whatever", our lives are so great!". F off.
 
Remember, no matter who you are, you can always change.

All it takes is... a lot of effort! But don't think you are a loser, LEARN TO THINK POSSITIVE! That's fundamental.

Take care.
 
At least you have the opportunity to go to a community college and have an associates degree.
You're not the only one who feels that way. If you keep convincing yourself your a loser and no one cares about ur unhappiness and being negative about everything in your life. You're life with continue being that way.
Be positive n tell yourself you can do amazing things to. You can have an awesome job. Marry someone incredible. And have beautiful children.
Tutoring is nothing bad! Your not perfect. And everyone is different when it comes to education.

Go out! Be active. Explore. Exercise. eat right. Dress up and go out. Shave and feel handsome. Be yourself. Do new things in ur community. You'll meet new people, have a better social life, and even find someone that's worth being in a relationship with!

You are not a loser. You are a amazing guy who just needs to Stop complaining about how horrible you life is and do something about it!

Be happy.
 
penguin said:
i hear what everybody is saying here but still, i cant lie to myself anymore. this isnt a new problem, ive felt like this for years and years now. always holding on to hope that things will get better, that things will turn around, that my day will come. i cant lie to myself anymore. i have to face the FACTS............

im never going to amount to anything. im never going to be successful in anything i try to do. happiness is for everybody else and not meant for me. these things are just the facts and the plain truths. i cant turn a blind eye to it anymore.

i dont see how people can say things like "you are doing really well" and "you are so smart". if i was doing well, i woulndt be here. if i was so smart, i woundnt be struggling in a lower level math class and other classes. i wouldnt be in community college in the first place, not to mention in my late 20's. i wouldnt be here on this website either. so how am i doing so well in life? i say quit the BS and tell it like it is.

one of you said that i will only be a loser if i quit. really? so sitting though a class the entire semester, being miserable, and ending up with a D or F grade is success? really? come on.

i hate myself and i hate "learning". this all seems like so much frustration and work for such a little pay off. oh wow, an Associates degree. big deal. an Associates degree doesnt mean much of anything. its practically worthless.

i wish i could just get it over with and make everybody happy and end my life. that way everybody can say "oh we are right, he is worthless/stupid/whatever", our lives are so great!". F off.

OK, fine. Forget everything I wrote. You are what you say you are. It's what you're choosing to be. If you want to wallow in bullshit, go right ahead. Or cut the crap and move on. You don't seem to want advice or help, you want someone to wallow in your pity party with you. You want to validate your messed up views by having someone else throw honeysuckle at you. We won't do it. I won't do it. Life sucks for a lot of people sometimes. It sucks for a lot of the people on this forum a lot of times. We move on. Whether you do or not is up to you but nobody is going to reach down and pull you out, especially if you bat their hand away. So, yeah, whatever, you go, dude...
 
I say this with all the love in the world, because I feel for you. But the get the hell out of this funk and make it happen for yourself. You are taking classes. You are in a relationship. You have a home, a computer and the internet. Stop defining your life by what others are doing, and stop thinking that Happy is a destination. Enjoy the small smiles you can get and stop taking for granted what you have. Make something, do something, get off your ass and out of depression by making small accomplishments everyday. And you are already on your way so just keep it up and ignore the rest of the bullshit.
 
These are two books I've read that's helping me.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF by Shade Helmsletter

POSITIVE THINKING by Susan Qilliam

It's really simple. It had helped me a lot.


I know pople say to stay positve be happy and all that good stuff.
These books give you INSTRUCTIONS and HOW TO. The bolts and nuts.

Things has to be simple and easy..So that I can easily apply them to my life.
And most important...is that they work or I see results.

Things being hard and complicate is fucken retard...that's why most poeple
dont apply all those **** self help suggestions from the many self help books.


I mean...Like no honeysuckle sherlock holmes...Be positive, live and enjoy our life.
Evenbody already knows this...

It's how in the fresia do actaully go about being positive so that I may make postive changes
in my life...
 
LoneHistoric said:
I say this with all the love in the world, because I feel for you. But the get the hell out of this funk and make it happen for yourself. You are taking classes. You are in a relationship. You have a home, a computer and the internet. Stop defining your life by what others are doing, and stop thinking that Happy is a destination. Enjoy the small smiles you can get and stop taking for granted what you have. Make something, do something, get off your ass and out of depression by making small accomplishments everyday. And you are already on your way so just keep it up and ignore the rest of the bullshit.

I felt the love. *sarcasm*
 
SophiaGrace said:
LoneHistoric said:
I say this with all the love in the world, because I feel for you. But the get the hell out of this funk and make it happen for yourself. You are taking classes. You are in a relationship. You have a home, a computer and the internet. Stop defining your life by what others are doing, and stop thinking that Happy is a destination. Enjoy the small smiles you can get and stop taking for granted what you have. Make something, do something, get off your ass and out of depression by making small accomplishments everyday. And you are already on your way so just keep it up and ignore the rest of the bullshit.

I felt the love. *sarcasm*

I don't know. I just have to say I thought this was really good advice. Especially the "Stop defining your life by what others are doing" part.

Also, the "already on your way" is true OP. You are in college... & that's a lot farther than a lot of people get! (since you want to compare yourself to others so much)
 
i really dont want to do this. but someone close to me read this and said that i should retype something along the lines of my original post, but to be in the positive sense about my life, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or how silly it seems. so here goes........

im 28. i never did well in grade school, but i still managed to graduate high school. i have worked some really good jobs for some great companies, and even though none of them so far have panned out, im still fortunate to have had several great opportunities. i have traveled a little bit across the united states, ive seen all 3 coasts. i have good parents, even though im not close with the rest of my family. i had a good childhood. i served in the military, and even though that did not pan out either, i still served and did my job to help contribute something good to this nation. ive tried college before, and im giving it another try now. i might not be good at my current classes, and i might be struggling more that most, but i still go each and everyday, i havent quit for good yet. i might get down and depressed about my life, but im still trying to hold it all together and make progress and get better. i havent given up on my dreams, no matter how far off they seem or how unlikely they seem to ever happen. i havent had the best luck with women, but im thankful for the relationships that i have had so far. even though i havent done everything i want to do with my life so far, i have possibilities. i have made many mistakes, but i still try to move forward in life and not let them get me down. im not in the best shape physically, but im trying to change for the better. im not the smartest person, but i am good at somethings. i might not be all i want to be in life, but im still trying to get there.

thats it. like i said i really did not want to type this. it seems silly to me. whatever.
 
penguin said:
i really dont want to do this. but someone close to me read this and said that i should retype something along the lines of my original post, but to be in the positive sense about my life, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or how silly it seems. so here goes........

im 28. i never did well in grade school, but i still managed to graduate high school. i have worked some really good jobs for some great companies, and even though none of them so far have panned out, im still fortunate to have had several great opportunities. i have traveled a little bit across the united states, ive seen all 3 coasts. i have good parents, even though im not close with the rest of my family. i had a good childhood. i served in the military, and even though that did not pan out either, i still served and did my job to help contribute something good to this nation. ive tried college before, and im giving it another try now. i might not be good at my current classes, and i might be struggling more that most, but i still go each and everyday, i havent quit for good yet. i might get down and depressed about my life, but im still trying to hold it all together and make progress and get better. i havent given up on my dreams, no matter how far off they seem or how unlikely they seem to ever happen. i havent had the best luck with women, but im thankful for the relationships that i have had so far. even though i havent done everything i want to do with my life so far, i have possibilities. i have made many mistakes, but i still try to move forward in life and not let them get me down. im not in the best shape physically, but im trying to change for the better. im not the smartest person, but i am good at somethings. i might not be all i want to be in life, but im still trying to get there.

thats it. like i said i really did not want to type this. it seems silly to me. whatever.

Yet it's the same life you've had. Now you're just looking at it differently. Amazing isn't it.
 
Sprint said:
penguin said:
i really dont want to do this. but someone close to me read this and said that i should retype something along the lines of my original post, but to be in the positive sense about my life, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or how silly it seems. so here goes........

im 28. i never did well in grade school, but i still managed to graduate high school. i have worked some really good jobs for some great companies, and even though none of them so far have panned out, im still fortunate to have had several great opportunities. i have traveled a little bit across the united states, ive seen all 3 coasts. i have good parents, even though im not close with the rest of my family. i had a good childhood. i served in the military, and even though that did not pan out either, i still served and did my job to help contribute something good to this nation. ive tried college before, and im giving it another try now. i might not be good at my current classes, and i might be struggling more that most, but i still go each and everyday, i havent quit for good yet. i might get down and depressed about my life, but im still trying to hold it all together and make progress and get better. i havent given up on my dreams, no matter how far off they seem or how unlikely they seem to ever happen. i havent had the best luck with women, but im thankful for the relationships that i have had so far. even though i havent done everything i want to do with my life so far, i have possibilities. i have made many mistakes, but i still try to move forward in life and not let them get me down. im not in the best shape physically, but im trying to change for the better. im not the smartest person, but i am good at somethings. i might not be all i want to be in life, but im still trying to get there.

thats it. like i said i really did not want to type this. it seems silly to me. whatever.

Yet it's the same life you've had. Now you're just looking at it differently. Amazing isn't it.

it still seems dumb to me though =/
 
penguin said:
Sprint said:
penguin said:
i really dont want to do this. but someone close to me read this and said that i should retype something along the lines of my original post, but to be in the positive sense about my life, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or how silly it seems. so here goes........

im 28. i never did well in grade school, but i still managed to graduate high school. i have worked some really good jobs for some great companies, and even though none of them so far have panned out, im still fortunate to have had several great opportunities. i have traveled a little bit across the united states, ive seen all 3 coasts. i have good parents, even though im not close with the rest of my family. i had a good childhood. i served in the military, and even though that did not pan out either, i still served and did my job to help contribute something good to this nation. ive tried college before, and im giving it another try now. i might not be good at my current classes, and i might be struggling more that most, but i still go each and everyday, i havent quit for good yet. i might get down and depressed about my life, but im still trying to hold it all together and make progress and get better. i havent given up on my dreams, no matter how far off they seem or how unlikely they seem to ever happen. i havent had the best luck with women, but im thankful for the relationships that i have had so far. even though i havent done everything i want to do with my life so far, i have possibilities. i have made many mistakes, but i still try to move forward in life and not let them get me down. im not in the best shape physically, but im trying to change for the better. im not the smartest person, but i am good at somethings. i might not be all i want to be in life, but im still trying to get there.

thats it. like i said i really did not want to type this. it seems silly to me. whatever.

Yet it's the same life you've had. Now you're just looking at it differently. Amazing isn't it.

it still seems dumb to me though =/

Hey life is all about view.
 
You can listen to all the people in the world for advice of what to or not to do....

The things oif ot is....
We.re creatures of habits
If you have been bahitually thinking youre a loser all your life...
Un less a fairy god mother cast a spell in your sleep....you might get up feeling or think ur not a loser for a while...until the next time something gose wrong...something as minute as getting a paper cut..will set you off in negative thinking again..Then youll simply react to ur negative thoughts again. .

 

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