jdoe22
Member
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2011
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0
Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm elated that I found this forum and that other people share my burden.
Let me introduce myself; I'm almost 30 years old and am currently going on a 9 year streak of being completely single, not even 1 date. Prior to that, a very short lived relationship (1 month) that I ended after finding out that she was still banging the ex-bf.
A little about myself; I am a very well rounded person, maybe a modern day renaissance man. I have graduate level education but have also framed houses, played blues guitar, worked on trucks, you name it.I am a very confident person--I've been told that I am very "intimidating". I command attention and have VERY many friends, often quite the hit at social outings. I have a very dark sarcastic sense of humor and can surely ALWAYS make everyone laugh with very little effort on my part.
I am relatively fit and well kept. I have manners. OTHER people have told me I am "good looking", I cannot comment on this myself.
I tend to be conservative and frown upon casual sex and promiscuity. I refuse to settle for such nonsense or those who take part of it. I am not religious, I'm a scientist. So with all this said... I have never been able to attract women. Every time in my life I've tried... I've either had phone calls not returned, been left on dance floors, etc.
So, I finally met someone at the university... who is an eerie shadow of myself. Remarkable similarities in personality and thought process... very exciting. She seems like a genuinely nice person. So here's where I get lost... I went out with her a week ago and spent the evening having a few drinks and getting to know each other. I'm not an expert at all with women, but she was not drunk and I picked up on things like dilated pupils, constant eye contact, flushed skin, playing with hair, etc. To me this means that I was attractive to her.
So, I invited her to a social event the following day, and when the time came she told me that she would not be able to make the event because of some other obligations and such... not a big deal and I told her it was OK. She said she would very much like to meet up with me again the following week and I said I would enjoy that as well.
So the following week came and here's where I think I made a horrible mistake. I passed her several times in hallways, where I nodded, said hello but she was occupied with other people so I didn't stop. I then went to a bar with my friends, and she was there , with her friends. She seemed busy and I thought that it might be rude to interrupt her, so I decided that if she wanted to talk to me, she saw me and could come over.
The next day I felt bad about the possible perception of this behavior, so I had found a nice jazz band that was playing and decided to call her and invite her out. She never answered... it's been a day, still no answer. I never left a voice mail, as I thought it would be inappropriate.
So, now how do I salvage this... I'm getting too old and sick of all this cat and mouse crap, but if she truly is not interested I'd hate to make her uncomfortable by badgering her about it. I guess this is really disappointing because these opportunities don't come around for me very often, I'd say well, in this case once in a life time so far... so I've gone from that confident commanding person on date #1 to a balled up nervous mess. What makes me even more uncomfortable is the searing experience that I've already lived, I'd hate to spend my entire 30's alone as I did my 20's.
Let me introduce myself; I'm almost 30 years old and am currently going on a 9 year streak of being completely single, not even 1 date. Prior to that, a very short lived relationship (1 month) that I ended after finding out that she was still banging the ex-bf.
A little about myself; I am a very well rounded person, maybe a modern day renaissance man. I have graduate level education but have also framed houses, played blues guitar, worked on trucks, you name it.I am a very confident person--I've been told that I am very "intimidating". I command attention and have VERY many friends, often quite the hit at social outings. I have a very dark sarcastic sense of humor and can surely ALWAYS make everyone laugh with very little effort on my part.
I am relatively fit and well kept. I have manners. OTHER people have told me I am "good looking", I cannot comment on this myself.
I tend to be conservative and frown upon casual sex and promiscuity. I refuse to settle for such nonsense or those who take part of it. I am not religious, I'm a scientist. So with all this said... I have never been able to attract women. Every time in my life I've tried... I've either had phone calls not returned, been left on dance floors, etc.
So, I finally met someone at the university... who is an eerie shadow of myself. Remarkable similarities in personality and thought process... very exciting. She seems like a genuinely nice person. So here's where I get lost... I went out with her a week ago and spent the evening having a few drinks and getting to know each other. I'm not an expert at all with women, but she was not drunk and I picked up on things like dilated pupils, constant eye contact, flushed skin, playing with hair, etc. To me this means that I was attractive to her.
So, I invited her to a social event the following day, and when the time came she told me that she would not be able to make the event because of some other obligations and such... not a big deal and I told her it was OK. She said she would very much like to meet up with me again the following week and I said I would enjoy that as well.
So the following week came and here's where I think I made a horrible mistake. I passed her several times in hallways, where I nodded, said hello but she was occupied with other people so I didn't stop. I then went to a bar with my friends, and she was there , with her friends. She seemed busy and I thought that it might be rude to interrupt her, so I decided that if she wanted to talk to me, she saw me and could come over.
The next day I felt bad about the possible perception of this behavior, so I had found a nice jazz band that was playing and decided to call her and invite her out. She never answered... it's been a day, still no answer. I never left a voice mail, as I thought it would be inappropriate.
So, now how do I salvage this... I'm getting too old and sick of all this cat and mouse crap, but if she truly is not interested I'd hate to make her uncomfortable by badgering her about it. I guess this is really disappointing because these opportunities don't come around for me very often, I'd say well, in this case once in a life time so far... so I've gone from that confident commanding person on date #1 to a balled up nervous mess. What makes me even more uncomfortable is the searing experience that I've already lived, I'd hate to spend my entire 30's alone as I did my 20's.