can the internet satisfy your social needs?

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jales

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i know that i can spend a lot of time chatting online... if i had the net at home..i'd spend too much time on here (once i can find people to talk to me)..

so question about social loneliness .. can internet people be your friends.. and satisfy your social needs.. or do you need more? Do you absolutely need close friends to go out with and to call you and all that to be happy?

is it unhealthy in your opinion if all your close friends are people who you have never met?
can you consider internet people as real friends at all?
 
You're lucky you don't have internet at home - I do and I spend about 25 hours a day on it. ><

Anyways, you do actually need to socialize "in real life". When you interact with people face-to-face, both you and the other individual constantly express non-verbal forms of communication, such as body language and subtle facial expressions. It's the cumulative of all these subtle degrees of communication that really makes you feel attached to the person (in a biochemical sort of way, not necessarily in an affectionate way) that satisfies your body's need for socialization.

It also greatly helps to put a visual "label" on the person - if you don't know what the "online" person you're talking to looks like, your brain has the conflict of realizing it's communicating with another human being, and yet it also subconsciously can't get past the fact that the other person is really just an output of text.

Still, having friends online does help to ease the immediacy of loneliness. And it's great if you're like me, and you're always awake when everyone else in your area of the country is sleeping, but there are people on the other side of the world who are awake to keep you company. :D
 
Nope. See my post in the "Depression" thread. The Internet makes you MORE lonely. If we didn't have the internet, we'd be forced to go out and make new friends. But instead, we're creeped up in the house typing and thinking that we're getting social satisfaction. I learned that I succumbed to the internet because I'm basically too lazy to go out there and meet real people. Now days, where do you go to meet new people? No one seems to have a clue.

The online thing does help you in the immediate sense. It makes you preoccupied with something. But long-term I think it is bad because you become addicted and lose the ability, not to mention the desire, to talk to REAL people. I used to consider people I met online my friends, but I realized how young and naive I was.
 
lonelyloser said:
If we didn't have the internet, we'd be forced to go out and make new friends.
Not necessarily. ><

For me, the internet actually has a dichotomy of effects in regards to loneliness. One one hand, it can help distract one from the realization that they're lonely (and thus, they're not lonely so long as they're fully distracted). However, for me personally, whenever I go on Facebook (or even Myspace), I see all the abundance of social networking and feel fairly excluded and isolated. Though, of course, a good portion of this social networking is just through the internet and not in real life, so it kind of sends mixed signals. ><
 
Going on facebook and myspace is truly depressing. Seeing people writing on walls and posting pictures of each other at parties just makes me feel so low so I don't even look anymore. I'd rather just imagine that they didn't exist. I just think it's stupid when people add people to their friends list even though they only know them through the internet, making it look like they have tons of friends when they really don't. It's just so superficial to me. If someone who I don't know tries to add me I either ignore it or decline.

Going back to your labels argument, I can be a totally different person online than I am in real life. Online, I have no inhibitions and I can make a girl like me really easily. That's why more of my dates were with people I met online. But in reality, I get so shy because of my looks that I never end up approaching the girls I want to talk to.
 
Matt said:
Anyways, you do actually need to socialize "in real life". When you interact with people face-to-face, both you and the other individual constantly express non-verbal forms of communication, such as body language and subtle facial expressions. It's the cumulative of all these subtle degrees of communication that really makes you feel attached to the person (in a biochemical sort of way, not necessarily in an affectionate way) that satisfies your body's need for socialization.

I totally agree with this. I think the internet can be a great facilitator to find people, but ideally the internet friendship should be transferred to real life. I've read this somewhere, but it's also been my personal experience.
And, somehow, I don't think it's possible to make real (REAL, GOOD) friends just through typing. If a face-to-face is not an option, I would at least try VoIP...
 
after reading all of these other posts i have 2 say that it really depends on the person
4 some it might not b. & 4 others it is
i believe its definitely possible 2 make real good friends online
y do i believe that?... bcuz i have. i have friends that ive known 4 yrs. who have done things 4 me that no "real life" friend ever has. & theyre not going anywhere either. were there 4 each other
i dont need biochemical reactions LoL 2 know theres a human being on the other side of the screen typing :rolleyes:
lets not even mention how many cpls i know who met online. in fact 2 of my "online" friends just got married a couple of weeks ago


onlines what we make it
if we want 2 make it a fantasy world... its a fantasy world
if we want it 2 b part of our real lives... its part of our real lives
 
No it can't, but it's helped alot, it was something I turned to when I moved around alot,(7 times LOL) but I've found all the answers I need from the Internet, now it's time to put it all into action and build up my life style, which I'm doing DAILY.
 
I have some friends in my everyday life, but they're not the kind of people that I can talk to at 3am when I'm feeling a little blue or lonely. None of them have ever suffered from depression or loneliness in the way I do, and I'm very glad to have found a bunch of people that not only know what I'm going through but will talk honestly and freely. I think the people you meet online can help you build that confidence, can give you advice and support etc.
 
ThatOneGuy said:
If this was asked about 5-6 months ago, i would have said yes, you can make great friends online and use it to somewhat satify your social needs. Now, i don't think so.

I use to be heavy into Myspace back then. I had tons of friends who i actually talked regularly to. There were several people who i would have considered "friends" back then. Now, not so much. I lost contact with 90% of them and the other 10% i have to initiate the contact or I would never hear from them.

Facebook i have a bunch of people that i never talked to in high school and continue the tradition on Facebook. It does kinda hurt to see pictures of parties and social events. Its pretty much high school all over again.

So my answer would be no. It will work temporarily but in the long run, you probably made and lost more friends that way.


Agreed. Facebook is GREAT if you're very popular because it makes you feel even better about yourself - look, I have tons of friends and I'm doing so well in my school/career, I'm so special! But if you don't have a lotta friends it makes you feel shitty.
 
lonelyloser said:
ThatOneGuy said:
If this was asked about 5-6 months ago, i would have said yes, you can make great friends online and use it to somewhat satify your social needs. Now, i don't think so.

I use to be heavy into Myspace back then. I had tons of friends who i actually talked regularly to. There were several people who i would have considered "friends" back then. Now, not so much. I lost contact with 90% of them and the other 10% i have to initiate the contact or I would never hear from them.

Facebook i have a bunch of people that i never talked to in high school and continue the tradition on Facebook. It does kinda hurt to see pictures of parties and social events. Its pretty much high school all over again.

So my answer would be no. It will work temporarily but in the long run, you probably made and lost more friends that way.


Agreed. Facebook is GREAT if you're very popular because it makes you feel even better about yourself - look, I have tons of friends and I'm doing so well in my school/career, I'm so special! But if you don't have a lotta friends it makes you feel shitty.

Yeah I agree with all this pretty much... though the only people I really want to have stuff on Facebook for are my family members that I don't often see... I can put pictures up so they see that I'm alive and well. As far as social life... perhaps to make friends, but in the long run I don't think the relationships can last unless they move to offline... even then some of those relationships don't last either unless nurtured... such is life :(
 
Lost in the Oilfield said:
some of those relationships don't last either unless nurtured, such is life :(


agree =X
and online or real life friends, well maybe it's like whether you are a vegetarian or not, it's just a preference.

i used the excuse that i have to be online often to show my parents i m still alive, but yea i admit i am kind of addicted to msn coz -_- well you see those people online talking or not talking, you are not so 'alone'. the moment i off the compy i d be scared. =/
it's possible to make good friends online, but other than that like, meet your soulmate online, is well... *recall my past o_O *
anyway that's why i want to travel around and keep myself busy. xD
meet new people and give myself more confidence, see the world more thoroughly before coming to a conclusion. after all who knows what will happen next, the old woman you d help might be your future wife/hubby's mom o.o *dreams* it's all better than sitting at home waiting for another 'reply' that will take ages or forever to appear.
 
I'm not sure why I was satisfied with the Internet for my social needs, but I became more dependent on it than my real life...and now I'm entirely dependent on it. I can blame the internet for my social problems....while the other kids were playing outside, I would be inside playing multiplayer games with all kinds of people far away, but I was less concerned about the social aspect of it, I would be more concerned about fun. Now though the internet can't satisfy my needs now and the more I think about it, I really do regret becoming attached to it.

I might be overly bitter, but I don't think any social relationship online is worth getting too attached to because it is intangible, there are no physical strings that bind you, anything can disappear abrubtly. I've spent a large part of my life online, thousands of hours without a doubt, and many of them interacting with others online and the memories of them are just as fait as childhood memories. We aren't real people talking to each other, just shadows of real people.
 
Its not a good idea to rely on the internet as your social substitute because it can replace the need to actualy go outside and make friends. Its important to go out and atempt to meet people and interact face to face in order to make real relationships because once you get dependant on the internet it can be really dificult to make real friends and will make things harder in life. Unless you are actualy planning to meet and attempt to form a real relationship you shoul not get atached to someone online
 
ekstra said:
We aren't real people talking to each other, just shadows of real people.
no shadow here. & i know alot of ppl who r even farther away from being a shadow than i m
guess...
it all depends on how honest we choose 2b
 
NewBirth said:
ekstra said:
We aren't real people talking to each other, just shadows of real people.
no shadow here. & i know alot of ppl who r even farther away from being a shadow than i m
guess...
it all depends on how honest we choose 2b

If you're too honest for your own good you'll hurt yourself. I've seen it happen and it has happened to me. My point is don't think about the person behind the monitor because to them, you might just be a screen name when anything goes wrong. Don't get too emotionally attached and don't try to enter/interfere with their real life.
 
owww boy sorry but i have another opinion on that,,,,yes i did get attached to some people through the Internet and those people mean everything to me,,,,never did i find a truer friendship then on the Internet we exchange and we communicate and help each other alote,,,,yes i have chosen to be myself and it did pay off,,,here in person i have 1 friend that really took the time to want to know the real me,,and i will be 40 in January,,,yes it is true that i am very shy and have a hard time communicating sometimes but it don't mean,,that i don't feel just like everyone else

one of those close friends is your very own bluey,,,so yes we can find true friendship though Internet
 
Gotta agree with mimi38 here.
Well actually, I think it really depends on who you're talking to online. Some people are honest, some aren't..it's really up to you to decide how much you want to or can believe them. Sometimes you can tell they're honest..sometimes their honesty may be vague but you can always keep talking to that person to find out..somehow.

Besides that, I feel that interacting with another person through the internet is so much easier than even interacting to your friends. Of course that also depends on what kind of person you're talking to..not everyone can tolerate just anyone.
So..I think it is possible for the internet to satisfy my social needs. Especially if I can't get much social satisfaction in real life.
 
I think it's possible to have real friends on the internet, especially when those friends help you to get socialized again in "real life", which is happening to me right now.
 
DutchGirl said:
I think it's possible to have real friends on the internet, especially when those friends help you to get socialized again in "real life", which is happening to me right now.

Glad to hear that Dutch :)
 

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