wtf is wrong with me?

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StonedHitman

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Jul 21, 2010
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For about 2 years I've been seriously depressed. I turned 19yo not too long ago, living with my dad and grandma going to a trade school 3 hours a day learning computer repair, but I hate it and want to drop out but i cant because my auntie payed $700 for me to go there and i dont have a job so I cant pay her back. For months I have been looking for a job and I get nothing. But i dont blame them, i have no skills or abilities people are looking for, i cant even work at mcdonalds they just dont bother to call me. It just makes me feel more and more useless. I gave up on job searching. Now i just sit at home playing games and going to that **** school. Everyday is worse than the last. I have suicidal thoughts everyday now. Having no friends doesn't help much but i wouldn't wanna burden others having me as a friend anyways. I think i might just go back to the mental hospital i been going to. Idk what it is about that place that makes me wanna go back. It's like I feel i belong there. Feels nice being around people like me. If only i had the balls to just end it all now. Also, Im sorry for the depressing post, i just had to get that off my chest.
 
Don't be so hard on yourself. With respect to killing yourself, you should think it over really hard. It's not what you think it's going to be like. I know. If you talk more with the other members you will see that you aren't worthless.

I know that this is the internet and not real life face to face, but it's the next best thing. If you are looking for a friend, I will be more than happy to be your friend and talk with you at anytime. I guarantee you strict confidentiality. I don't pass judgement on any one who is in pain.

You should be very proud of yourself for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of guts and strength to seek help, even if it's by way of a computer. I'm LoneKiller, nice to meet you StonedHitman.:)
 

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