even if lonely, are you still choosy?

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J

jamie

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let's say you have no social life (or a poor one) and would really like to have more human interaction. you just don't want to spend so many evenings alone and miss having friends.
and then you meet someone who's quite nice to you and invites you to hang out with them, but... they're not really the kind of person you'd like to spend your time with.
either you find them a bit boring, you have very different interests, you disagree with them in basic values, or for any reason the conversation is strained and non-stimulating.
would you still meet with them?
 
I've tried hanging out with people I'm not into just for the sake of being sociable, and I've regretted it each time. When I'm with them, I just think, "Man, this is so boring; what a waste of time." The key, I suppose, would be to find someone whom you truly do want to be around with.
 
Are you sure nothing more can come from meeting w/ this person?

(either w/ this person?... or.... meeting someone else while with this person?)..
 
Yes I would...
I prefer to give others the benefit of the doubt though, and I will always give someone at least one chance no matter the things you mentioned above.
As Matt says yes it can be disappointing, but would you pass up the possibility of a pleasant surprise? There is always the small chance that something that could spark interesting or stimulating conversation could come up during the course of a dull conversation.

If nothing else it would give a few hours less spent alone. Plus if you are out doing something in public there is always the chance of meeting someone else you could be interested in being around... if sitting alone at home your chances of meeting someone to converse with are pretty slim... well except online on a site like this perhaps LoL :)

Too bad that so much is lost though, not seeing a person face to face.
 
No, it doesn't work. Especially not with a person who just plain annoys you. --_--

I tried being friends with some guy.. all he talked about was prostitutes and boring stuff like studying for exams. He was also much richer than me, and kept inviting me to all kinds of things that I couldn't afford. So I had to say "sorry I have no money for that". All his friends were rich snobs also.
 
Lost in the Oilfield said:
sitting alone at home your chances of meeting someone to converse with are pretty slim...

yes, I definitely agree with this, that's why I usually try and go.
I even sometimes have coffee with my silly neighbour, who only complains about her kids (not having kids myself, and so far lacking the mother-instinct, I never know what to say to that).

and, yes, sometimes I'm positively surprised and have fun, but more often it's disappointing. and not one of those people I've tried hanging out with despite initial reluctance has become a friend.

I was just wondering what other people think and if you have a better experience. thank you for your input so far :)
 
Hmm, well at least you do try.
Ah yes, awkward moments where you're not sure exactly how someone expects you to give input into the conversation are annoying... however, often times people just want a sounding board... they have something rolling around in their head (like complaints about their children) and they desire nothing more than someone to bounce their own thoughts off of... chances are she likely shares the same complaints with others as well. Lots of times if it's a matter of frustrations on your mind, then just venting those frustrations aloud to someone helps get it off your mind somewhat.

Hmm well, I'm glad to hear that you have had some pleasant surprises. I met my first love that way... I was reluctant to go out and meet some friends because there would be some people that annoyed me there that night... but dragged my feet out the door anyway... little did I know that one of those annoying girls (wealthy, and always talked about her money and things her daddy bought her... or she was always gossiping about people and talking behind everyones back) happened to bring along friend I had never met.

I agree that it seems to be a disappointment more often than not though.
 
jamie said:
let's say you have no social life (or a poor one) and would really like to have more human interaction. you just don't want to spend so many evenings alone and miss having friends.
and then you meet someone who's quite nice to you and invites you to hang out with them, but... they're not really the kind of person you'd like to spend your time with.
either you find them a bit boring, you have very different interests, you disagree with them in basic values, or for any reason the conversation is strained and non-stimulating.
would you still meet with them?

I did for a long while thinking hey at least I'm in a group! But truth is I can't stand the things they like, such as wrestling(fake), punk rock bands no one but them have heard, COD 2( can't stand how boring that game is,GRRRR),zombies, ninjas,use of words like ROFLcopter, and LOLer skates,etc. So really it's only a temporary solution until you can't stand them:p
 
jamie said:
let's say you have no social life (or a poor one) and would really like to have more human interaction. you just don't want to spend so many evenings alone and miss having friends.
and then you meet someone who's quite nice to you and invites you to hang out with them, but... they're not really the kind of person you'd like to spend your time with.
either you find them a bit boring, you have very different interests, you disagree with them in basic values, or for any reason the conversation is strained and non-stimulating.
would you still meet with them?


Why not? You could have a great friendship going. And besides that jamie..who knows who there friends are? You could meet the person of your dreams through a good friend. However, if you're talking about getting romantic with such a person..I think it would be a big mistake. It's no good getting involved with someone who doesn't give you 'butterflys' in your tummy. Know what I am saying?
 
Expectation leads to regret. If you're highly anticipating to get along like a house of fire with everybody you meet, then you're bound to wind up disappointed when they don't share most (or all) of the qualities you are looking for in a friend. High hopes really hinder any sort of social progress, judging from my experiences.
 
If you don't like being around someone you are wasting your time trying to be friends with them. However, I am quite a passive person and hate to be rude or offend people by an off-hand comment or whatnot so I tend to put up with people for far longer than is really healthy for my mind... lol. I have spent the last month and a half with "leeches" sucking the fun out of my group of friends but none of us wanted to make any enemies or anything so we let the stupid underclassmen losers stay, and they recently have caused so much drama that the group has imploded. So there is an example of why you may not want to be around someone you don't like.
 
Qui said:
If you don't like being around someone you are wasting your time trying to be friends with them. However, I am quite a passive person and hate to be rude or offend people by an off-hand comment or whatnot so I tend to put up with people for far longer than is really healthy for my mind... lol. I have spent the last month and a half with "leeches" sucking the fun out of my group of friends but none of us wanted to make any enemies or anything so we let the stupid underclassmen losers stay, and they recently have caused so much drama that the group has imploded. So there is an example of why you may not want to be around someone you don't like.

Yeah, I have to agree with you to a degree Qui... while i am of the mind that anyone deserves a chance, there's definitely a point where enough is enough. If someone is such a drag that they are bringing you down, it's time to abandon ship... or toss them out :p

NeverMore said:
use of words like ROFLcopter, and LOLer skates,etc.

hahaha WTHanator LMAOus BRBly tron... I like senseless words used senselessly... or sometimes senseless words used in good form... Jabberwocky!

---

If you haven't read it before than go here... if you don't the Bandersnatch will eat your soul!

http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html
 
diamond-dancer said:
NeverMore said:
use of words like ROFLcopter, and LOLer skates,etc.

What the...

Hehe. That ridiculous lingo of a class of internet dwellers! Your response to nevermore's statement had me laughing up a storm.
 
Today I went out with that guy again. He kept talking about prostitutes the entire time (2+ hours), and he even showed me the place where his favorite prostitute lives. He also said that he feels like a horrible person because he had sex with a prostitute and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Then one minute after he starts talking about her again. #_# He has bipolar disorder I think.

Also we ate some kebab. He shoved the entire thing in his mouth, and all the sauce dripped on his pants and on the table. He ate the whole kebab in like 3 seconds (using his fingers to push it into his mouth deeper), and his part of the table was a mess. It's a good thing I'm not an easily disgusted person, others might have vomitted at the sight. -_- I just ate mine normally, and the table was clean after me. I told him that he eats like a pig, and he told me that I dress like a hobo, and I should wear jeans to be cool. (I decided to pass on pointing out that it's not so cool when your jeans are dripping with mayonnaise.)
 
Well, look on the bright side; at least you have a story to tell now ^_^

You do sound a little prickly though, even if he was a jackass. How on earth do you know him? Oh well, that shouldn't deter you from going out in the future, but you have my sympathies for the clothing remark, at least you had the guts to leave the house in your own clothing, just the thought of someone saying something like that to me in public scares me a little.

It's a shame there isn't a Lonely Life village that we could live in.
 
Let's make one, on one of those tiny islands to the north of Scotland. :p
 

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