Do you tend to push people away?

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There’s this guy I’m starting to like, few days ago we were hanging out w/ other friends, he was trying to talk to me, making small conversations, trying to be near me, but I was pushing him away, I go to my other friends and avoid being near him. It’s because I myself is in a misery right now, I’m going thru tough times right now, I can’t seem to find myself, I’m feeling lost. It’s a problem that involves only myself and I’m not ready to open up to people that’s trying to knock on the door so I’m putting up walls. Then he said to me straightforwardly that he noticed I was pushing him away and I had nothing to say at that moment because I was caught off guard, I didn’t answer back. I just turned my face to other direction. But I wish I could say to him I do like him. I wish I told him that I am just in a miserable state right now and I need to fix myself first, I need to be okay and be whole first. I'm broken right now so how can I start something with anyone if I'm like this. But even if I say that to him, I don't know if he'll understand it. Then, since I wasn't talking to him, he went to my other friend and talked/hang out with her, I felt jealous and I worried he might like her rather than me. I feel bad as I know it's my fault, I was pushing him away, of course it's normal he'd just go talk to other people. But I had nothing to do because I'm not in the condition to open up to boys right now, I have a lot to deal with myself first. But I'm just sad that maybe, just maybe, if I was okay, if I'm not in this state right now, things could have been going good for us. I could maybe open up to him and let us get to know each other more. I don't know what he thinks of me too, maybe he was turned off by me because I was acting like that. He's good-looking and usually girls are the ones who go near him, but me, I was trying to be far away from him. He's used to girls surrounding him, but me, I was ignoring him. So yeah maybe he won't care a thing. I don't know. I keep thinking about him. I wanna hear his voice. **** I'm just so. I don't know, I'm sorry this is too long, I just need to let this all out. Thank you for those who'll take time to read.
 
can you use paragraphs and post pictures to illustrate what you're saying? My attention span is shot today.

I do think i push people away myself...
 
I believe in 'some day.' Sometimes it's all there is to keep us going day after day. I would tell him how you feel - if he understands, and I think he will, then maybe 'some day' will come true. If he doesn't understand then that 'some day' was not meant to be... but they'll be another waiting if you hang in there. Believe in fixing yourself, believe in finding your inner peace, believe in finding that special someone when the time is right. It's not easy and it's never a sure thing. Just got to keep working. But to me that is faith. All the best to you.
 
You're right about needing to mend what is broken before starting anything new. If anything happens, it would be better to save it for when you are doing better mentally. I would be honest about your feelings. He may turn out to be a supportive and sympathetic friend which could develop into a boyfriend later on. If not, you still did the right thing.
 
I'm not sure whether we are talking about the same thing, but I assume so. I do something similar. I run or push away, or ignore almost everyone I like and care for. It's not very healthy, I'm afraid.
 
LoneHistoric said:
I believe in 'some day.' Sometimes it's all there is to keep us going day after day. I would tell him how you feel - if he understands, and I think he will, then maybe 'some day' will come true. If he doesn't understand then that 'some day' was not meant to be... but they'll be another waiting if you hang in there. Believe in fixing yourself, believe in finding your inner peace, believe in finding that special someone when the time is right. It's not easy and it's never a sure thing. Just got to keep working. But to me that is faith. All the best to you.


I totally agree with you, sometimes I wanna give up when things are hard but because I believe that 'someday' good things will happen, things will get better, and all this pain and suffering will be worth it, it makes me keep going. I'm struggling to keep my faith everyday. I think it's a lifelong process, being able to hold on to your faith all throughout your life no matter what good or bad things happen. Anyway thank you so much, I understand what you said, I appreciate it. I wish you all the best too. :)


Kat said:
You're right about needing to mend what is broken before starting anything new. If anything happens, it would be better to save it for when you are doing better mentally. I would be honest about your feelings. He may turn out to be a supportive and sympathetic friend which could develop into a boyfriend later on. If not, you still did the right thing.

You know what, most people I have asked said the same thing as you, they said it's right that I need to fix myself first, but I should have also just told him honestly what I'm going through because he just might understand it. Now I realize that's what I should have done. But that's just me I guess. There are times I don't know how to react/behave in a certain situation especially when I'm caught off guard. Then later on I tend to regret things like, "this is what I should have done, this is what I should have said.." I'm just wishing right now I'll still have another chance, that's if it's meant to be. The best thing I could do right now is just learn from this all and avoid making the same mistakes again later on in my life. I'll treat this as a lesson. Anyway thank you so much for taking time to read, and for your reply. thank you. :)

silver birch leaves said:
I'm not sure whether we are talking about the same thing, but I assume so. I do something similar. I run or push away, or ignore almost everyone I like and care for. It's not very healthy, I'm afraid.

Yes you're right it's not healthy. and I'm starting to learn my lessons now. I've talked to my close friends, and also asked advices from different forums here in the social networking world, and almost all of them said the same things like, instead of pushing people away from my life just because I'm going through some things, It would be better if I just talk to them, open up and share what I feel, instead of keeping it all to myself thinking nobody would understand. I know now that I should not assume people wouldn't understand me, I should not assume that it wouldn't be of any help even if I open up to others. I talked to my friends, they listened, they understood me, they gave me advices, and now I know I'm not alone, I have them who supports me, It made me feel better even just a bit, now I'll try to avoid doing those things again like pushin them away, puttin up walls especially around the closest people in me, because they are people God sent me, so I should just trust them. I hope you'll start to open up too, to others instead of pushin them away. It might become a habit - a bad habit that we might bring with us until we grow old. So let's try to change it for the better. Goodluck to us :)
 
I'm not sure. I might be doing this without even knowing it.. at least I feel that way in most scenarios. :(
 

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