Not sure how to take this

Through a bizarre series of interactions, met someone in a city that I may be moving to in the near-ish future (about 7 months). We hit it off really well, and he is pretty flirty and has been very up front about being interested in me, but because I'm not there yet, he's being very guarded about things, which is fine - I understand not wanting to get hung up on someone who lives far away (his words).

He is also, though, pretty up front about being interested in other people that are not close by him - one person in particular, whom he pretty freely describes as a FWB, but with no real long-term/serious potential.

Now I'm a fan of honesty but the more I talk to him the more I feel like I'm waiting in some metaphorical line with a handful of other people and the less special I feel. I'm not sure whether to trust this reaction or not - after all, he's only being honest, and I do think he's genuinely interested in me. Is there such a thing as too much honesty, or should I just be glad he's being up front and see where things go? Or does this sound like he's just messing with me? Anyone else been in a situation like this, and if so how did it work out?

:club:

It's not that there's too much honesty here. It's just that there's too much dysfunctional behavior here.

Consider all he's telling you as more of a warning to leave this all alone .. unless, of course, you are content with never being "special" (your words) in his eyes. It doesn't sound like he deals out those types of cards.

okay, tonight he got drunk and proceeded to outline in detail for me the people he's had sex with this year. that took care of that problem.

Gravity said:

okay, tonight he got drunk and proceeded to outline in detail for me the people he's had sex with this year. that took care of that problem.

Click to expand...

Sorry it turned out like that. At least it happened before you got hurt.

I'd say any guy who mentions "FWB" with you or other people is someone to avoid unless you're not looking for an actual relationship (which doesn't seem to be your goal at all).

The guy you want is honest and yet doesn't treat people like that.

TheSolitaryMan said:

Sorry it turned out like that. At least it happened before you got hurt.

I'd say any guy who mentions "FWB" with you or other people is someone to avoid unless you're not looking for an actual relationship (which doesn't seem to be your goal at all).

The guy you want is honest and yet doesn't treat people like that.

Click to expand...

Indeed - it happened well before I became another item on his list for "this year alone"...ugh. Thanks for the empathy but honestly I don't feel upset about it at all, just really, really turned off in a major way.

So, yes - honesty and not treating people like honeysuckle. I feel like I've re-learned something painfully obvious yet terribly necessary. Maybe whacked-out that I needed to re-learn it at all, but oh well, there it is.