Funniest Yet Most Idiotic Thing You've Ever Done

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Angelight

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It's times like this that I could indeed use a good laugh. I'm willing to share my stories of utter stupidity for other's to laugh at if someone else here would be willing to share theirs. I will share my story here, and I hope to maybe hear a story that's better than this one. Here goes...

Okay, so one of my favorite hobbies is to collect blades. I love collecting them, steel, wood, anything. As long as they look cool, I get it. So recently one of my good friends, Cody who is also a blade collector, got a pair of stainless steel longswords. He also noted that he had a small garden of gourds in his backyard. Now as for me, I'm not much of a sword person, which is why I was very glad that not long ago I got a very nice carbon steel battleaxe. Now what we realize, but really don't care about, is that these things are for show and not for use. We could care less. We got the gourds lined up in a nice row and began our massacre. It was fun, so much fun, till I had an accident. I thought it'd be cool to toss a gourd up in the air and try to cleave it in half with my axe in midair. I regretted that, because as soon as I began my thrust and the moment I hit maximum speed, the blade flew off of the handle and turned into a razor sharp boomerang. It zoomed into a post on my porch and embedded itself into it and the first thing that entered my mind was: "Oh hell...this ain't good..." and Cody looked like he needed a change of pants. It took both of us to pull the blade out of the pole but afterwards, we glued the blade back on and called it a day. I can clearly see now why these are meant for show and not use because all it takes is a moron with a battleaxe to cleave someone's head off by accident.

Well, that's my story of utter idiocy. I hope at least someone got a laugh out of this rather interesting story. Hope to see some other good stories on here as well. Till next time!

*Note:No blade-wielding retards were harmed during this story. Cody DID however need a change of pants.*
 
The funniest thing I did was probably when I took a leack from a balcony to the garden. I was slightly drunk... the urine fell 6 floors to the ground producing a yelow waterfall that I was able to mantain for a little while. It was beautiful.
 
Felix said:
The funniest thing I did was probably when I took a leack from a balcony to the garden. I was slightly drunk... the urine fell 6 floors to the ground producing a yelow waterfall that I was able to mantain for a little while. It was beautiful.

Nice dude! Lol, was this at someone's house or like a hotel? And an even better question: Did anyone see you?
 
Angelight said:
Felix said:
The funniest thing I did was probably when I took a leack from a balcony to the garden. I was slightly drunk... the urine fell 6 floors to the ground producing a yelow waterfall that I was able to mantain for a little while. It was beautiful.

Nice dude! Lol, was this at someone's house or like a hotel? And an even better question: Did anyone see you?

Actually it was my OWN balcony... never again I had the guts to try that stunt again lol. Honestly I don't remember if anyone saw me, there were probably 2 or 3 friends with me that night. The thing is it was like an spiritual experience, watching the flow of the pee come out of me to the ground at that height... I could even hear the sound of it splashing into the ground, it was like being one with the universe... or something like that :p
 
A friend of mine and I went to the mall later on in the evening, and then decided to walk up to the nearby book store as we usually would. Unfortunately, there was some construction going on at the Mall, so most of the sidewalks around the mall were blocked off, so we had to take a really long route to get to the bookstore. On our way there, it started to rain, and shortly after we got inside, it started to pour. We decided to try to wait it out a bit before we walked back, but it did not let up. The mall closed, and my friend was going to have to get home soon, so we decided to suck it up, and walk ALLLL the way back through the pouring rain. Of course, it didn't take very long for us to be completely soaked, and we still had to keep walking. Finally, we got to the car, and I didn't want the seats to get all wet so we decided to drive home without pants. XD She tried to encourage me to go further, but that was as far as I was willing to go with it. I believe I had some hangers in the car too, cause I'm cool like that, so we were at least able to hang them on the way home. XD
She also tried to convince me to go through a drive though, but I was not willing to make anyone's night with my inconvenient situation. (hehe)

And that's just one of our interesting adventures, without pants! :D
 
Felix said:
Angelight said:
Felix said:
The funniest thing I did was probably when I took a leack from a balcony to the garden. I was slightly drunk... the urine fell 6 floors to the ground producing a yelow waterfall that I was able to mantain for a little while. It was beautiful.

Nice dude! Lol, was this at someone's house or like a hotel? And an even better question: Did anyone see you?

Actually it was my OWN balcony... never again I had the guts to try that stunt again lol. Honestly I don't remember if anyone saw me, there were probably 2 or 3 friends with me that night. The thing is it was like an spiritual experience, watching the flow of the pee come out of me to the ground at that height... I could even hear the sound of it splashing into the ground, it was like being one with the universe... or something like that :p

That's probably the most epic form of going to the bathroom ever lol. Now you got me wanting to try it.....lol

LoneKiller said:
In junior high I came to class with my shirt on inside out.

Nice lol. Should've come to class with your pants inside out the next day!

SkuzzieMuff said:
A friend of mine and I went to the mall later on in the evening, and then decided to walk up to the nearby book store as we usually would. Unfortunately, there was some construction going on at the Mall, so most of the sidewalks around the mall were blocked off, so we had to take a really long route to get to the bookstore. On our way there, it started to rain, and shortly after we got inside, it started to pour. We decided to try to wait it out a bit before we walked back, but it did not let up. The mall closed, and my friend was going to have to get home soon, so we decided to suck it up, and walk ALLLL the way back through the pouring rain. Of course, it didn't take very long for us to be completely soaked, and we still had to keep walking. Finally, we got to the car, and I didn't want the seats to get all wet so we decided to drive home without pants. XD She tried to encourage me to go further, but that was as far as I was willing to go with it. I believe I had some hangers in the car too, cause I'm cool like that, so we were at least able to hang them on the way home. XD
She also tried to convince me to go through a drive though, but I was not willing to make anyone's night with my inconvenient situation. (hehe)

And that's just one of our interesting adventures, without pants! :D

Lol, if you went to the drive thru, you could've told them you just had a bad experience with strip poker! lol! Good times WITH friends and WITHOUT pants!
 
Hmm there has been so many it's hard to think of one right now...

I've had several conversations where instead of talking about the proper subject my mind goes off on something else. Then I get weird looks until I realize I'm talking about the wrong thing. This usually happens with customers and I want to smack my head against the counter cause I look like such and idiot. They usually get a good laugh out of it.
 
When I was little I found out how fun and interesting suction can be. I took a Tupperware cup and placed it over my mouth and chin and began sucking the air out of it. As expected, it got stuck to my face, which amused my immature 10-year-old self, until I pulled the cup off; I had this terrible skin discoloration all around my mouth and shin that lasted for like a week.

I DID IT FOR SCIENCE! NO REGRETS!
 
Last summer-

Off having a run through the forest on a game trail, came around a blind corner and smoked my face off a huge tree limb. In a moment of rage I took a swing at the tree.

Had a black eye and a sore right hand for awhile.

So much for being "grown up".
 
My episodes of most stupidity normally happen on holiday… I am a moth to the flame of drunken idiocy.

I remember nearly drowning pratting about drunk by the sea in Biarritz with friends on holiday. I fell into the sea on a ramp/jetty and nearly got dragged fully in, the sea was very choppy lashing against some very sharp looking rocks. Anyway I just managed to get my balance before falling off the end, I can’t swim and didn’t fancy my chances against the massive waves if I’d have gone all the way in. Getting back to the hotel room I then stripped off stark naked and sent a primeval roar from the balcony of my room at the North Atlantic for failing to claim me. Well it was pretty funny at the time I’m sure… :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Another time a couple of friends in Budapest wanted to go to a lap dancing club, not really being into that I went along to keep an eye and while they had their dance chatted to a lovely young lady about what she planned to do after finishing uni, she looked a little puzzled in a “why aren’t you just staring at my breasts sort of way” anyway as I’d bought her a drink as encouraged by the doorman upon entering I sat there for a while then decided to go back up to the street for a cigarette as they were being pushy and I wasn’t interested. I said I’d settle the tab as it costs 80p a pint in most bars that weekend, only to be told the 3 drinks we bought plus the 3 for the girls came to £1500. Whoops.

Anyway my friend came out looking pleased with himself and I had to tell him we’d walked into the classic tourist trap, there was no one there apart from us three, 8 topless girls and about 6 huge shaven headed grinning East European bouncers.

So anyway the short of it was I said we can’t pay, and they’d have to call the police. None of us had that cash and after being frisked by them and them finding my credit cards they said they could drive us to western union cash desk to withdraw the cash if I had my passport which I said was back at the hotel. So we waited for the police and the rather flash looking owner offered his sincerest apologies and asked if we would like a drink out of goodwill. I remember my friend saying “yeah I’ll have a double jack and coke” and me saying “”You’ll have nothing you idiot!” and he just went “oh yeah probably a bad idea” “Oh really, do you think?” :)

The police turned up, couldn’t speak a word of English (well they pretended to although everyone else in Budapest could!) and they just took us back to the hotel room and left. About 15 minutes later we got a call from the foyer saying the bouncers were down stairs and wanted the money after a brief weighing up of our options decided we didn’t fancy being hauled up in a hotel room in Budapest with an organized crime ring after us so I said I’d pay and split it 3 ways after. To their credit my two mates wouldn’t let me go on my own and came with me. So got driven through Buda in a little fiat Punto and marched to a desk where I managed after 20 minutes to get all but £20 of the cash while the woman on the desk got slipped a cigarette pack under the counter (probably with some cash) and the bouncer who just looked bored the whole way through said “sorry for the misunderstanding” and offered us a lift back (I declined!).

Pretty scary to be honest and the first and last time I have set foot in a strip joint in my life. I got my money back off the other two so ended up £500 out of pocket and a lesson learned! I was pretty miserable the rest of the weekend, it really shook me up as I sort of did all the talking while the other two just sat there and I was completely skint. They were apologetic and grateful but I figured it was as much my own fault for going along with them, I didn’t have to at the end of the day and I was pleased how we all kept pretty calm about it even when wondering what happens when you can't pay... I did have visions of broken kneecaps! I read about it online when I got back, apparently they make a fortune out of idiots like us wandering in and not asking how much the drinks are and getting bullied into paying!

I’ve also come close to being pick pocketed in Barcelona, hit by a tram in Amsterdam and falling off a cliff on the west coast of Ireland but I’ll probably stop there :D
 

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