When do people start wanting real relationships?

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xrchz

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Every girl I've met recently seems not to be interested in starting or being in a relationship. But they are all quite young - early twenties or even late teens. Now, it could have nothing to do with age: it could just be that I'm a huge turn off so they just say they're not looking! But I'm curious, if it is to do with maturity or circumstance or something, might there be a time or place where the single people don't want to be single any more? Certainly I don't right now.
 
xrchz said:
Every girl I've met recently seems not to be interested in starting or being in a relationship. But they are all quite young - early twenties or even late teens. Now, it could have nothing to do with age: it could just be that I'm a huge turn off so they just say they're not looking! But I'm curious, if it is to do with maturity or circumstance or something, might there be a time or place where the single people don't want to be single any more? Certainly I don't right now.

I think it depends on the person. Most people I would think in child bearing years are wanting a relationship.
 
It may have to do with the progression of maturity with age in general, and also individual upbringing.

I'm sorry, that didn't answer to your question. It really depends on the individual's definition of a real relationship. I would consider this to be around early adulthood and later.
 
I know I want a relationship, but there is this idea that 20s are supposed to be the party years and then you settle down later, although most people i know right now are settled down in their 20s. I agree some people are commitaphobes and cant stand the idea of settling down. Maybe you need to look in different places? Get of the comfort-zone so to speak.
 
Lovely Smile said:
I know I want a relationship, but there is this idea that 20s are sWhereupposed to be the party years and then you settle down later, although most people i know right now are settled down in their 20s. I agree some people are commitaphobes and cant stand the idea of settling down. Maybe you need to look in different places? Get of the comfort-zone so to speak.

What kinds of places would you want to meet guys at? (As someone who actually wants a relationship)
 
I remember asking a girl when she thought they become first interested in boys. She said 10 >.<

Then again, I believe that I began to get interested in girls when I was six. Not knowing anything about sex, I just decided boobies are awesome. That hasn't changed, btw.
 
My guess would be when that person thinks they found the right person for them, or they are falling in love.
 
I'm 20 and in a 15 month relationship. I have ALWAYS longed for a meaningful connection, at the age of 15, 17, and 19. In high school I was a "freak" and went to a rich preppy suburban school so any chances of boys looking my way were nonexistent. My first year in college I had really high hopes for a relationship, however those hopes turned into bad decisions of drunken sexual escapades and broken hearts. 15 months ago I met my current love, my first and only serious relationship to date. My boyfriend was nothing short of fate helping us, we have talked about how we were meant to be together, in this point in time for however long destiny gives us.

My point is, I always craved a relationship, from as early on as I can remember. Although I'm not a typical 20-year-old-female-college-student, I can't imagine that I'm the only one that felt that way.

I looked for love in many places and got burned, used, manipulated, toyed, exhausted, tossed around, etc. I probably also did the same to several young men. What it took was finding the right guy. And as old and cliche as this is going to sound, it happened right when I stopped looking. Best advice I could give is to live your life and not make finding a relationship a priority, it will happen when its right. :)
 
I think that this mentality is what makes us so miserable. I know that if a girl came up to me and told me she was looking for a serious commitment. That I would be really turned off. Unless I was sure I could manipulate lots of sex out of the situation. I would rather be alone. The main reason being that I don't know what a serious relationship is.

Men and women a like want to have fun and enjoy life. We rarely look at the tone certain words can have. For instance serious rarely implies something that is fun or should be taken lightly. It is a word that triggers us to focus. Then there is relationship. What does that mean to most people? Generally, people associate that word with becoming more legally bound to each other. You know moving in together or sharing a bank account. So looking for a serious relationship. Can be scary to most people.

Why not focus on having a good times with these girls keep things light and fun. If you make your time together enjoyable then she will want you all to herself. Not to mention she will want to spend more time together.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
Why not focus on having a good times with these girls keep things light and fun. If you make your time together enjoyable then she will want you all to herself. Not to mention she will want to spend more time together.

Why do we play complicated games with many variables and saved progress, when we could just play simple and fast games like PacMan? Many people appreciate the complexity, and find it an value which is missing in what is blatantly simple.
 
IgnoredOne said:
Why do we play complicated games with many variables and saved progress, when we could just play simple and fast games like PacMan? Many people appreciate the complexity, and find it an value which is missing in what is blatantly simple.
Problem is that you have clearly never gotten very far in Pac-Man. Once you get past the first 5 or so levels things start to get complex. You should watch the documentary called the King of Kong. Just because something starts simple doesn't mean it stays simple. After a while the star of that movie had to put serious thought into playing the simple game Donkey Kong

We can make relationships magical and mystical all we want. In the end though they are a sale. You have to prove your worth. One fact out there is people like to have fun. Prove you are fun and girls will want to stick around. If they have good memories with you. They will want more so they will keep coming back.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
IgnoredOne said:
Why do we play complicated games with many variables and saved progress, when we could just play simple and fast games like PacMan? Many people appreciate the complexity, and find it an value which is missing in what is blatantly simple.
Problem is that you have clearly never gotten very far in Pac-Man. Once you get past the first 5 or so levels things start to get complex. You should watch the documentary called the King of Kong. Just because something starts simple doesn't mean it stays simple. After a while the star of that movie had to put serious thought into playing the simple game Donkey Kong

But you're contradicting your own point. Why stick with /anything/ that might be difficult or complex? If the point is just to have simple fun, then there's no reason to quit the moment that it gets complicated and find something else that's simple.

At any rate, my experience with girls isn't that they want anything complex as much as they just want something that will last. That's what they generally mean by serious, in my experience - its a lot like knowing that there's a house to come to at the end of the day, a shelter from the chaos of what often seems to be a cold, unfeeling world - someone you can at least expect to care for you and make you feel good when no one else is.

So, in a way, the notion of people seeking people for qualities("a sale") as you call it, isn't that far wrong - indeed, every single thing in life could be argued to be a trade for something for another. Its just you project vastly what you want upon others - a lot like expecting everyone else to be colorblind just because you are, but it really isn't like that. People vary, but in general, women do seem to value knowing what to expect over 'thrill' or even 'fun'.
 

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