That awful fake smile....

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Red26

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Over the past few years, I've perfected an awful fake smile. Its one I use when people ask me how I am, or why my eyes are red. "Oh, I watched a weepy movie" I'll say, and then flash that smile. Its so souless yet people dont seem to notice.
When my ex promised me forever and then broke my heart, people asked "How are you coping", and then added "Theres plenty more fish in the sea" without stopping to hear my answer. When my 'friends' dont hear from me for a while, they dont call me to ask how I am, they wait until I call them and say "I'm still alive". I used to talk about my pain, or my sadness, or my happiness even, and now I cant talk about any of it to the people in my life as they just dont care. I feel so distant from everyone, and its just getting worse. I go out to pubs or clubs and find that I cant talk to people, or let them get close to me even though I long for just a little affection, a little human kindness.

I swallow all my loneliness, and anger, and bitterness, and frustration at things I cant change and use that smile to make people think I'm fine.
Does anyone else do this? Am I just being a drama queen?

Red26
 
Hello Red.

I've perfected a fake smile, too! Except I've been doing it for so long that it comes naturally now. Sometimes I combine it with the spontaneous giggle (I laugh when I'm nervous).

I've never been very good at opening up to people and talking about my problems, so I find it easier to pretend that I'm fine even when I'm not. I've tried opening up, but I find that people can only deal with so much emotion being let out.

I hate going to pubs...I always feel intensely out of place there.

Recently I watched something which taught you how to pick out a fake smile from the real thing. A real smile causes small creases to form around your eyes.

Red26 said:
Over the past few years, I've perfected an awful fake smile. Its one I use when people ask me how I am, or why my eyes are red. "Oh, I watched a weepy movie" I'll say, and then flash that smile. Its so souless yet people dont seem to notice.
When my ex promised me forever and then broke my heart, people asked "How are you coping", and then added "Theres plenty more fish in the sea" without stopping to hear my answer. When my 'friends' dont hear from me for a while, they dont call me to ask how I am, they wait until I call them and say "I'm still alive". I used to talk about my pain, or my sadness, or my happiness even, and now I cant talk about any of it to the people in my life as they just dont care. I feel so distant from everyone, and its just getting worse. I go out to pubs or clubs and find that I cant talk to people, or let them get close to me even though I long for just a little affection, a little human kindness.

I swallow all my loneliness, and anger, and bitterness, and frustration at things I cant change and use that smile to make people think I'm fine.
Does anyone else do this? Am I just being a drama queen?

Red26
Click to expand...
 
Thanks Diamond Dancer :)

I know for a fact that my eyes dont crease when I smile. I feel the bottom half of my face lift at the required time, but my eyes stay the same. As for my fake laugh, it often comes out too loud as its just so un-natural.
I can handle pubs, as long as I'm with friends so I can blend in to the background. I've actually given up with clubs. I hate them. I'm not sure what its like where you are, but the clubs here are like meat markets. You certainly couldnt meet or talk to anyone there. I dont even go to my local library anymore as they've disposed of most of the books and made it more 'trendy' and more 'kid friendly'.

I dont want to fake being happy anymore. I want to say loudly "I'm unhappy, I'm lonely, I'm angry" etc.
 
I've stood in front of the mirror practicing the fake smile to make it more authentic looking. Haha. Since seeing that program I keep my eye out for other people's fake smiles too.

Most clubs are the same here (Australia)... people go to get smashed and pick up. I enjoy retro clubs where I can dance like an idiot to old school music so I put up with it every now and then. The music is always so loud most places that it's not worth even trying to meet anyone new because you can't hear them.

I don't like the sound of a "kid friendly" library. I like my libraries dusty and mysterious (think Ghostbusters).

You don't have to fake being happy here at least.

= ) <--- That one was real

Red26 said:
Thanks Diamond Dancer :)

I know for a fact that my eyes dont crease when I smile. I feel the bottom half of my face lift at the required time, but my eyes stay the same. As for my fake laugh, it often comes out too loud as its just so un-natural.
I can handle pubs, as long as I'm with friends so I can blend in to the background. I've actually given up with clubs. I hate them. I'm not sure what its like where you are, but the clubs here are like meat markets. You certainly couldnt meet or talk to anyone there. I dont even go to my local library anymore as they've disposed of most of the books and made it more 'trendy' and more 'kid friendly'.

I dont want to fake being happy anymore. I want to say loudly "I'm unhappy, I'm lonely, I'm angry" etc.
Click to expand...
 
I do fake smiles too. But some of my close friends can tell. They say it creeps them out, the few of them that figured it out. I can't hide anything from them... if they want to know. Sometimes we just come to unspoken agreements on things like, don't ask don't tell. But that's fine. I love my friends... I would die without them. seriously.
 
I think a sad smile is best when interacting with people. Hopefully it would show you have something on your mind but you're trying. I'm not that good at it though, I can't pretend to show interest or any other emotion unless its genuine. Sometimes if I really need to pretend to smile...i get this melancholic grin...which pretty much sends the message across to most, though I don't want to. In daily interaction with strangers though, I don't pretend to be in a good mood, would say "eh" with a half-hearted laugh.
 
My sad smile is more with my eyes than my mouth... But a fake smile is just with your mouth and your eyes don't move at all. I do both of those and I feel crappy whenever I use a fake smile, but only use a sad smile when I feel crappy. But I think that's pretty much what those are for.
 
RogueTomato said:
diamond-dancer said:
Recently I watched something which taught you how to pick out a fake smile from the real thing. A real smile causes small creases to form around your eyes.
Click to expand...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/index.shtml

You can take a test online and see if you have the ability to detect a fake smile. It turns out I am only 80% successful at distinguishing between real and fake.
Click to expand...

I got 95%. But usually I automatically assume most people's smiles are fake. So that works out then... And I am one hell of a fake when it comes to letting people on to what I feel. Hmm... I suppose I could use some laughs. Someone post on the funny pics thread!
 
I got 16 out of 20, but does it say anything about my state of mind that I actually thought ALL of them were faking it? I just clicked a few as 'genuine' as I didnt think they'd have everyone faking it. Oh dear, I'm not in a good mood today!! :-$
 
Got 16 out of 20. That's not cool! I don't want it to be so easy to spot a fake smile. It puts me in danger! ><
 

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