Cosmic Kid
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Andrea is my big sister, by 2 years. I have a brother, Bobby, who is 5 years older than me. Then, there's Sophia, 5 years younger than myself. This story is less about myself, and, more about, my sister Andrea. Andrea's story fits the definition of what I believe to be a true success story.
Bobby, Andrea, and myself (all born in the 50's) are all products of the 70's. This is the time we ventured away from the nest, out into the world. The 70's was a time of "transition", if you will, from the "hard-core" hippie/drug culture of the late 60's, to a more mainstreamed, con$picuou$ con$uption craze of the 80's, during which time, the high-end drug, known as cocaine, became synonomous with, as well as a symbol of, success and money. It seemed, to us anyway, that it was "everywhere". And we were too.
As for myself, a vague realization began to dawn on me when I went to college in the mid 70's. If I was ever going to enter "mainstream society", I needed to become more serious about certain aspects of my life. This proved to be a somewhat problematic process, and took approximately 10 years or so for it to really "kick-in". I found myself on academic probation at a small, private college. And, after 3 years, I was still only a sophomore. It was time to re-evaluate. It was then that I decided to transfer to a large University. It was there that I remained bone-dry, and straight, for the next 2 years. I was on a mission. (this was all during the late 70's). I took a many classes every semester for 2 year straight. I found myself on some honor roll or Dean's list every semester. I managed to graduate in '81. But then, like a dam bursting, it was off to the races again. But, then, when I could no longer hold onto to the denial of what it was doing to me, and to my future, I straightened-out, this time, instead of "up". I now went on to become successful in several areas, all having to do with a passion I'd had since I was a kid. Of course, this passion, was a "solo endevour" of mine. It could be, and was pursued vigorously, and successfully, without alot of help (I did have some). But, with this passion and success, also came the freedom of "knowing" that I could "go it alone". Success would be my key to happiness.
Now, for consideration of what true success is, I'd assert that it's actually my big sister, Andrea, that one should look to. Andrea's story runs concurrently along the same time lines as mine did...mid '70's to mid '80's. She was living the same "unstructured" lifestyle, as they say, as myself. She dated many, many men, living w/ some. She married a charismatic and charming guy, who, unfortutely, had a couple of character flaws He was also an alcoholic and very popular with the ladies. (I know, I enjoyed being there myself). They moved to Walla-walla, Washington. They returned home after 2 years, until, a year later, my sister had had enough of her husband's girlfriends calling him at all hours of the day and night. She filed, and got, a divorce (all during the late '70's).
It was around 1980, that she "landed" a job with a major employer in this part of the State. It was there that she met a man who would become her best friend for the next 3 years. They couldn't have been more different. She, coming out of a "sex, drugs, and rock'n-roll" marrage..drinking at will, and, well, doing what we all did at that time. This man she met at work.... his name was Boyd. He was 5 years older than she (which wouldv'e put him in his mid-thirties, I believe). Anyway...Boyd was very much your stereotypical engineer. A bigger "nerd" there never lived He even looked the part w/ his horn-rimmed glasses. His shirt pocket, full of pencils and pens, came complete with that little dual purpose plastic flap/pencil organizer. It not only protected the ever present white shirt from becoming soiled, but also served as an organizational tool for the various rulers, pencils, and pens that were needed to be a proper engineer...and true nerd. He had never taken a drink of alcohol in his life, not on any moral grounds, mind you, there was just no time. He spent all of his time studying!! Of course, he never realized that drugs were a part of American culture. This fact just wasn't a part his world. He wore a slim, black tie, complete w/ black pants and white shirt. He had never dated, and not because of any social hang-ups (quite the contrary, this man knew exactly who, and what, he was, if there ever was such a person!) He just truly enjoyed studying, more than being w/ people. He was very happy.
Andrea saw that in him, that he was happy. She began to respect this man. She began wanting to have the serenity, and comfort in her own skin, that he had in his. She began to talk with him, and he with her. (Talk about opposites!) But, then something unexpected happened. My sister and Boyd were out one evening, and my sister Andrea asked Boyd if he'd like to go to a party. He's always up for anything, and said yes. While at this party, Andrea "excused" herself to go "powder her nose". Tired of waiting, Boyd went looking, and found her...leaning over doing a line of cocaine. When she turned around,...their eyes met. My sister has since told me, "Little brother, that's the last time I ever did drugs. The look of dissappointment in my friends face was more than I could bear. My knees literally gave way. I could not bear seeing myself, as he saw me, at that moment".
Just one more item...which makes my sister Andrea, a winner. When they had been married for some 15 years, Andrea became discontented. She began to blame the man she'd married, saying her unhappiness was his fault, and he would never change, or be able to "meet her needs" She met a man, and had an affair (unbeknownst to her Boyd). She filed for a divorce. He signed. She had him now. Trouble is, he was still the best friend she had ever had. Now what? She had gotten him to sign over everything he owned. She had him by the proverbial "short-hairs". But, try as she may, she realized that he wasn't ever going to change. And, with that realization, she suddenly realized she loved him more than she ever had in her life.
She ended up leaving the papers on the court house steps. And she's never looked back. She changed. She's quit blaming him for her problems. She now accepts him for who he is. She's quit trying to change him. She knows she can't, and loves him ever so much the more in spite of that fact, or more likely, because of it.
Well...that's the end of this long story. She took some of her inheritance, and bought them both a nice home on the lake. They'll live there now. He'll retire soon. He'll live w/ his best friend too. He'll never know what she had to go through to keep him.
Bobby, Andrea, and myself (all born in the 50's) are all products of the 70's. This is the time we ventured away from the nest, out into the world. The 70's was a time of "transition", if you will, from the "hard-core" hippie/drug culture of the late 60's, to a more mainstreamed, con$picuou$ con$uption craze of the 80's, during which time, the high-end drug, known as cocaine, became synonomous with, as well as a symbol of, success and money. It seemed, to us anyway, that it was "everywhere". And we were too.
As for myself, a vague realization began to dawn on me when I went to college in the mid 70's. If I was ever going to enter "mainstream society", I needed to become more serious about certain aspects of my life. This proved to be a somewhat problematic process, and took approximately 10 years or so for it to really "kick-in". I found myself on academic probation at a small, private college. And, after 3 years, I was still only a sophomore. It was time to re-evaluate. It was then that I decided to transfer to a large University. It was there that I remained bone-dry, and straight, for the next 2 years. I was on a mission. (this was all during the late 70's). I took a many classes every semester for 2 year straight. I found myself on some honor roll or Dean's list every semester. I managed to graduate in '81. But then, like a dam bursting, it was off to the races again. But, then, when I could no longer hold onto to the denial of what it was doing to me, and to my future, I straightened-out, this time, instead of "up". I now went on to become successful in several areas, all having to do with a passion I'd had since I was a kid. Of course, this passion, was a "solo endevour" of mine. It could be, and was pursued vigorously, and successfully, without alot of help (I did have some). But, with this passion and success, also came the freedom of "knowing" that I could "go it alone". Success would be my key to happiness.
Now, for consideration of what true success is, I'd assert that it's actually my big sister, Andrea, that one should look to. Andrea's story runs concurrently along the same time lines as mine did...mid '70's to mid '80's. She was living the same "unstructured" lifestyle, as they say, as myself. She dated many, many men, living w/ some. She married a charismatic and charming guy, who, unfortutely, had a couple of character flaws He was also an alcoholic and very popular with the ladies. (I know, I enjoyed being there myself). They moved to Walla-walla, Washington. They returned home after 2 years, until, a year later, my sister had had enough of her husband's girlfriends calling him at all hours of the day and night. She filed, and got, a divorce (all during the late '70's).
It was around 1980, that she "landed" a job with a major employer in this part of the State. It was there that she met a man who would become her best friend for the next 3 years. They couldn't have been more different. She, coming out of a "sex, drugs, and rock'n-roll" marrage..drinking at will, and, well, doing what we all did at that time. This man she met at work.... his name was Boyd. He was 5 years older than she (which wouldv'e put him in his mid-thirties, I believe). Anyway...Boyd was very much your stereotypical engineer. A bigger "nerd" there never lived He even looked the part w/ his horn-rimmed glasses. His shirt pocket, full of pencils and pens, came complete with that little dual purpose plastic flap/pencil organizer. It not only protected the ever present white shirt from becoming soiled, but also served as an organizational tool for the various rulers, pencils, and pens that were needed to be a proper engineer...and true nerd. He had never taken a drink of alcohol in his life, not on any moral grounds, mind you, there was just no time. He spent all of his time studying!! Of course, he never realized that drugs were a part of American culture. This fact just wasn't a part his world. He wore a slim, black tie, complete w/ black pants and white shirt. He had never dated, and not because of any social hang-ups (quite the contrary, this man knew exactly who, and what, he was, if there ever was such a person!) He just truly enjoyed studying, more than being w/ people. He was very happy.
Andrea saw that in him, that he was happy. She began to respect this man. She began wanting to have the serenity, and comfort in her own skin, that he had in his. She began to talk with him, and he with her. (Talk about opposites!) But, then something unexpected happened. My sister and Boyd were out one evening, and my sister Andrea asked Boyd if he'd like to go to a party. He's always up for anything, and said yes. While at this party, Andrea "excused" herself to go "powder her nose". Tired of waiting, Boyd went looking, and found her...leaning over doing a line of cocaine. When she turned around,...their eyes met. My sister has since told me, "Little brother, that's the last time I ever did drugs. The look of dissappointment in my friends face was more than I could bear. My knees literally gave way. I could not bear seeing myself, as he saw me, at that moment".
Just one more item...which makes my sister Andrea, a winner. When they had been married for some 15 years, Andrea became discontented. She began to blame the man she'd married, saying her unhappiness was his fault, and he would never change, or be able to "meet her needs" She met a man, and had an affair (unbeknownst to her Boyd). She filed for a divorce. He signed. She had him now. Trouble is, he was still the best friend she had ever had. Now what? She had gotten him to sign over everything he owned. She had him by the proverbial "short-hairs". But, try as she may, she realized that he wasn't ever going to change. And, with that realization, she suddenly realized she loved him more than she ever had in her life.
She ended up leaving the papers on the court house steps. And she's never looked back. She changed. She's quit blaming him for her problems. She now accepts him for who he is. She's quit trying to change him. She knows she can't, and loves him ever so much the more in spite of that fact, or more likely, because of it.
Well...that's the end of this long story. She took some of her inheritance, and bought them both a nice home on the lake. They'll live there now. He'll retire soon. He'll live w/ his best friend too. He'll never know what she had to go through to keep him.
