Emotional Pain in Youth vs. in Adulthood

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SophiaGrace

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is it true that emotional pain doesn't hurt as bad when you're older? Or is it just that some of us have been through so much of it in our youth that our emotions have withered away to the point where we just become numb to it all?
 
Emotional pains hurts just the same to me no matter what age...( at least thats how it is for me)


I've been shown this type of annalogy to help me with my emotional pains.

I'm not my pains. I'm bigger than my pains.
Or I'm not my pains, I have pains.

A slight shift of wordings also helped shift my persceptive.

example...
I'm angery to I FEEL angery.
It helped me to seperate myself/who I am as a person from my pains.
Once i can saperate myself from my pains....I then can let go of them.

The same principle can also be apply to other aspects.
example..

From I'm lazy to I procastinate.
It helped me to saperate myself from my actions or behaviors.
I have behaviors or triats. My behaviors can be ulter.
Saperating the performer from the perfermance.

In other words I have the power to change my thoughts, feels and behaviors.

The same with having positive thoughts.

I simply chose to create positive thoughts and feelings in my life today.
Cast away negative thoughts and emotions as they arrise. In the other words dont dwell on it or figure it out ( LET GO).
Kind of like being transparent and letting it flow through me.
Then focuse my (life) time and energy in creative positive things in my life.

I'm not denying my feelings of pains or negative emotions. Logic say I'm better off running on postive (fuel) thoughts
and emotions. I make better desicions. I get more active. My attitude or perception of life is more peaceful and joyful.
Life becomes more than surviing or coping with pains. I've been abused as a child and many other things.
None of my childhood pains went away by themselves. I have to work on it. Give better living tool....such as this
simply diagram.
 
Well, I am in my early 30's and it is not true that I feel less pain in relationships and emotionally in life compared to childhood. In fact, I think that a greater ability to process feelings and events emotionally and psychologically will actually cause me to feel more pain when I am by myself.
 
Is it true that if something bad happened to you in your youth, the pain of it will go away as you get older? I mean something really bad that makes you not want to live anymore?
 
Well yeah but as you get older you will have many negative events that the younger you didn't experience. So, each negative experience won't be as bad as you get older, but you will have a lot more of them built up.

So, don't worry! Soon you will have some other negative event to focus on. o.-
 
It is an interesting view, but I am not sure age is the best way to decide how much life experience some one has...
 
It depends on the person. Theres so many ways.

The actual event of actaul point of pain ( original source)
May occure in sec to minutes. But sometimes we replay
Those images in our mind in cutrent moment. Therefore
Expanding the pain. SUFFERING is reliving the pain over
And over again.
At the sametime our perception are colour by the pains
So our experience of the bigger circle are tinted with
Pains sort of speak.

Also..we become desentisized to pains.
Example....such as calusses on my finger tips
From playing my guitar....
Some poeple might term this as emotional maturity.
Growing thick skin.

While others may view people with thick skin as insensitive or calus.
The people with thick skin view a younger person or people that
Lives sheltered lives ( still jn the smaller circle) no matter the age.
Hence the term " burst your fucken bubble whinny little bitches.
You dont know honeysuckle"lol

At the sanetime Tunnel vision.....no matter how small our
Pains may be. If we focus in on it. It'll fill our entire. Vision.
Making a mountain out of a .mole hill sort of speak.

The example SG gave is good for...
LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE.
IT TEACHES TO GET OUT OF TUNNEL VISION.
EXPANDING OUR HORIZON OR RESHIFTING
OUR FOCUS.

If you combine it with taming tbe middle path, balance or
Moderators....it might make sense to you....

If you feel good good good all the time, you'll
Give a knee jerk reaction over split milk because
You havnt experince pains in a long time.
The feeling of slight pain will still feel great to you.
 
My step daughter lives in Chicago.
She's surrounded violence.
Even though shes way younger than me
And still speaks to me as my child....

At some level shes more emotionally
Mature than me because of the rough
Conditions she lived through and experience.
I would be like a little baby to live in Chicago.
SHE'S TOUGH AND WILL KNOCK HEADS.

WHike my family and friends in CA
Findd her rather insensitive because
We live in a calmer environment.

Yet i know Kelsie cries het heart out
Bevuasr of the psins dhe had to live
thtough. She calls me to cry do that
She may process her pains.
 
From my point of view its hard to say as time heals so you can dismiss how you felt 10 years ago as trivial compared to how you feel now. I understand the world more now than I did 10-15 years ago so I try to rationalise it more, back then it was more action/reaction but I could bounce back a lot quicker. Now I had the added feeling of being back to square one and wondering how many more times I can pick myself back up off the canvas.

I'd say when I was younger it was more of a quick sharp pain that after a few days of feeling like the world ended went away and life went on, now its a more a constant dull ache that I'm better able to cope with but not able to shift as this feeling of hopelessness at constantly being back to square one.
 
I think that when we are younger, we don't have the tools (maybe some) to deal with it. I also think that if you have someone that you can talk to who can guide you, and give you the tools to deal and cope, that also helps down the road.

I was bullied as a child and even as an adult. The difference now is, I have more tools to use to deal with this. I can identify the "type" of bully in terms of similar ones in the past and try different ways of defusing the situation. Sometimes if you win the fight you lose the war. Then again, if you lose the fight, sometimes you win the war.
 
Childhood experiences are much stronger and can affect your personality/life much more than experiences incurred in adulthood....for the simply reason that as you grow older your self image develops, you get a firmer understanding of who you are and thus it takes more to hurt you or affect you...your understanding also grows...you can maybe understand why somebody did something, even though it hurt you.....you could have been through such things......a whole ton of reasons really......of course I'm just talking about the average person though.

 

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