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annik

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Yesterday I emailed my ex (but 1 technically...) telling him I missed him. It wasn't really out of the blue as we talk on and off. It was probably a stupid thing to do. We ended up having a bit of a chat just about what we want for Christmas and how I get freaked out by stuffed animals. At no point did he say he missed me which didn't really upset me too much.

I'm not really sure why I suddenly just told him, a moment of ill advised candor maybe? I know its true though I do miss him. I felt comfortable around him and I miss wandering about taking photos and having a chat. Do I miss anything else? I really don't know.

I knew nothing was gonna come of it, not even an afternoon out. Which on some level might actually be really nice.

Of course I heard nothing back today, I just feel like a bit of a tit. :rolleyes:
 
He must've been happy to hear he was missed. I've never had a boyfriend so I can't really relate, but don't feel bad. If he's an ex then it's natural that you would miss the closeness to another being that you felt a strong connection with. I hope you find someone to fill the void you feel, permanently. :)
 
meekthoughts said:
He must've been happy to hear he was missed. I've never had a boyfriend so I can't really relate, but don't feel bad. If he's an ex then it's natural that you would miss the closeness to another being that you felt a strong connection with. I hope you find someone to fill the void you feel, permanently. :)

Aww thanks :)

I think he might have been slightly scared by it. His answer was kind of "whats up"?! I mean hes made it clear it's so over but I was honestly meaning his company more than anything. Its such a shame we can't be real friends.

I've had one guy since him but it didn't last. We were an item for 3 years so yeah there's a lot of history and feeling there. I just don't tend to say stuff like that to him we normally just small talk. I don't know, just feel silly. :shy:

 
Abiding noon to dusk, their glass eyes watch; awaiting in the light, their burning hunger grows; alive soon in the dark, their fangs shall show gleaming from the stuffing to sate itself to bloody surfeit. But the day endures, and He must wait, so hungry, so yearning, so close to the beating heart that must be stilled.

Teddy loves it when you hold him close to your chest.

<3
 
annik said:
Yesterday I emailed my ex (but 1 technically...) telling him I missed him. It wasn't really out of the blue as we talk on and off. It was probably a stupid thing to do. We ended up having a bit of a chat just about what we want for Christmas and how I get freaked out by stuffed animals. At no point did he say he missed me which didn't really upset me too much.

I'm not really sure why I suddenly just told him, a moment of ill advised candor maybe? I know its true though I do miss him. I felt comfortable around him and I miss wandering about taking photos and having a chat. Do I miss anything else? I really don't know.

I knew nothing was gonna come of it, not even an afternoon out. Which on some level might actually be really nice.

Of course I heard nothing back today, I just feel like a bit of a tit. :rolleyes:

I really wouldn't worry about it. Unless I seperated from someone in really volatile circumstances, I would only really consider it flattering if an ex of mine said she missed me!

I think many people try to hide it or bury it, but really everyone kind of misses their exes from what I can tell. It often surfaces in just an offhand comment when I've been talking to girls, but when you look in their eyes you can see that they're thinking about it quite deeply.

Guys are the same really. Some people sort of convert it into feelings of jealousy and bitterness, but most of the time I think it's just a natural response to getting that close to someone.

Your posts always come across really nicely, so I'm sure there will be someone out there that appreciates that and I wouldn't be surprised if that ex of yours misses you quite a lot :)
 
annik said:
Yesterday I emailed my ex (but 1 technically...) telling him I missed him. It wasn't really out of the blue as we talk on and off. It was probably a stupid thing to do. We ended up having a bit of a chat just about what we want for Christmas and how I get freaked out by stuffed animals. At no point did he say he missed me which didn't really upset me too much.

I'm not really sure why I suddenly just told him, a moment of ill advised candor maybe? I know its true though I do miss him. I felt comfortable around him and I miss wandering about taking photos and having a chat. Do I miss anything else? I really don't know.

I knew nothing was gonna come of it, not even an afternoon out. Which on some level might actually be really nice.

Of course I heard nothing back today, I just feel like a bit of a tit. :rolleyes:
its ok this happens all the time its good that he wasnt mean to you some of them are :D just try to stay away as much as u can cuase this might cause future hurt,, am glad you enjoyed ur chat thu ;)
 
Yeah, it is really hard to interpret the phrase, "I miss you", from an ex. He's probably not interested in getting back together, and you probably aren't either. So he most likely he just didn't want to bring it up to avoid any possible misunderstandings.

I think that makes him a good dood. To some guys that's would just be a green light that you are vulnerable, and they would try ways to manipulate their way back into your pants.

That said it is natural to miss an ex, and its an ego thing to tell them you miss them. If they miss you too then its a good boost, if they don't then it can be damaging.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
I really wouldn't worry about it. Unless I seperated from someone in really volatile circumstances, I would only really consider it flattering if an ex of mine said she missed me!

I think many people try to hide it or bury it, but really everyone kind of misses their exes from what I can tell. It often surfaces in just an offhand comment when I've been talking to girls, but when you look in their eyes you can see that they're thinking about it quite deeply.

Guys are the same really. Some people sort of convert it into feelings of jealousy and bitterness, but most of the time I think it's just a natural response to getting that close to someone.

Your posts always come across really nicely, so I'm sure there will be someone out there that appreciates that and I wouldn't be surprised if that ex of yours misses you quite a lot :)

Its funny you should say that actually because our breakup was quite volatile. It was horrible for a long time but finally calm broke out and now we pretty much treat each other well. It's been some time since we broke up. Most of the pain has dulled and the feelings seem in limbo. Its easy to keep a distance because we don't physically see each other. I'm not sure what would happen, how I'd feel if we did.

I'm not really sure how he feels deep down, we are into "blood out of stone" territory there. He only ever seems jealous, like of the one guy I was with rather than showing he misses my company. Or at least my none sexual company.

Thanks. I do hope thats true but like I said I'm not sure.


lola bunny said:
its ok this happens all the time its good that he wasnt mean to you some of them are :D just try to stay away as much as u can cuase this might cause future hurt,, am glad you enjoyed ur chat thu ;)

Thanks. Yes I did worry after I sent it how he would react. I think he was bemused maybe but not annoyed. It could have gone a lot worse lets say.

kamya said:
Yeah, it is really hard to interpret the phrase, "I miss you", from an ex. He's probably not interested in getting back together, and you probably aren't either. So he most likely he just didn't want to bring it up to avoid any possible misunderstandings.

I think that makes him a good dood. To some guys that's would just be a green light that you are vulnerable, and they would try ways to manipulate their way back into your pants.

That said it is natural to miss an ex, and its an ego thing to tell them you miss them. If they miss you too then its a good boost, if they don't then it can be damaging.

Exactly. I followed it up when he replied by saying sorry and that I was just down but that I did miss his company and having a chat. Hopefully that made it clear what I was meaning.

Hmm well I have had to fend off the odd volley of filthy emails so I wouldn't be putting him in the "good dood" camp just yet. Plus the whole sex side of us is complicated so its not like I fear we'll end up being friends who sleep together or anything.

That kind of annoyed me a bit, that I was telling him I missed him and thats a boost in some way. I wasn't upset he didn't say it back because in all fairness I was totally expecting him not too. Though I think I'd have been happy if he had said it.

It's such a fine line with us really.
 
annik said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
I really wouldn't worry about it. Unless I seperated from someone in really volatile circumstances, I would only really consider it flattering if an ex of mine said she missed me!

I think many people try to hide it or bury it, but really everyone kind of misses their exes from what I can tell. It often surfaces in just an offhand comment when I've been talking to girls, but when you look in their eyes you can see that they're thinking about it quite deeply.

Guys are the same really. Some people sort of convert it into feelings of jealousy and bitterness, but most of the time I think it's just a natural response to getting that close to someone.

Your posts always come across really nicely, so I'm sure there will be someone out there that appreciates that and I wouldn't be surprised if that ex of yours misses you quite a lot :)

Its funny you should say that actually because our breakup was quite volatile. It was horrible for a long time but finally calm broke out and now we pretty much treat each other well. It's been some time since we broke up. Most of the pain has dulled and the feelings seem in limbo. Its easy to keep a distance because we don't physically see each other. I'm not sure what would happen, how I'd feel if we did.

I'm not really sure how he feels deep down, we are into "blood out of stone" territory there. He only ever seems jealous, like of the one guy I was with rather than showing he misses my company. Or at least my none sexual company.

Thanks. I do hope thats true but like I said I'm not sure.

I'm sorry to hear that it was tough in the past :(

With guys, at least with me anyway, jealousy ties very closely into missing someone or regretting something. We tend to feel quite competitive with other males, perhaps more than girls usually feel with each other even.

Often we're already sort of hurting from something (in my experience this has simply not been asking a girl out and regretting it, for example), then we'll sort of suppress it in that raw form. Then it suddenly comes back manifesting as jealousy when we see that same girl with someone else.

It's not just conventional jealousy/envy though, it's more like a sort of miffed, sad feeling of "Why couldn't I make that work?" mixed in. Girls probably feel similar, but I'm not sure if they feel the same need to bury emotions like that always. That's a peculiarly male thing.

Long story short, if your ex seems jealous, he most probably had deeper feelings in the background motivating that jealousy in the first place.

I don't think people should ever be afraid to show their human side, so even if you feel that what you said wasn't mutual, there's no reason to beat yourself up. You were honest, you were true to your feelings, you had a rational reason to think what you thought and that's enough.

Anyway, sorry for the rather long response, I'm not sure I'm being of any use here :s
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
I'm sorry to hear that it was tough in the past :(

With guys, at least with me anyway, jealousy ties very closely into missing someone or regretting something. We tend to feel quite competitive with other males, perhaps more than girls usually feel with each other even.

Often we're already sort of hurting from something (in my experience this has simply not been asking a girl out and regretting it, for example), then we'll sort of suppress it in that raw form. Then it suddenly comes back manifesting as jealousy when we see that same girl with someone else.

It's not just conventional jealousy/envy though, it's more like a sort of miffed, sad feeling of "Why couldn't I make that work?" mixed in. Girls probably feel similar, but I'm not sure if they feel the same need to bury emotions like that always. That's a peculiarly male thing.

Long story short, if your ex seems jealous, he most probably had deeper feelings in the background motivating that jealousy in the first place.

I don't think people should ever be afraid to show their human side, so even if you feel that what you said wasn't mutual, there's no reason to beat yourself up. You were honest, you were true to your feelings, you had a rational reason to think what you thought and that's enough.

Anyway, sorry for the rather long response, I'm not sure I'm being of any use here :s

Don't worry about the long response, thanks for bothering :)

It's quite good to hear a males side to it. I tend to dismiss his jealously as simply an "I don't want her but that doesn't mean you can have her" feeling but what you're saying is slightly different. I guess I resent the jealously a little too after all he dumped me and I feel he's jealous because he missed out on things others got. The fact is though I'd have given it all to him if he'd had wanted it.

I certainly know there are regrets on his side as on mine too.

It all seems on one level with him though. I'd just love to feel sometime like he wanted to talk to me. Though this is the same thing I used to think when I was with him. :rolleyes:

I often wonder if I'm too honest with him. I tell him a lot and am always open and I know I don't get that level of openness back. It does get to me at times, though now I manage to keep it to myself rather than nagging him. That might not be healthy though. I might be festering for a massive blow up.

I do kind of swing from thinking he's a waste of space I shouldn't talk to to what if I messed up the love of my life? Its a pretty scary feeling.
 

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