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unlucky in life

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sorry i have yet another problems that worries me
i am scared of intimacy from males i run away i get scared nervous
when i get close to guy i like i go weak at the knees and neck gets all hot
i move away from guy if he has arm around me all i do is feel like running away male physical contact.i am scared if guy got close i act all weird and strange and other side i am afraid not to get kissed i never have done i never have been kissed that scares of that too.

when i move away i think not sure guys think i am rejection them they take offence to me and make them kind of angry they not so nice to me any more due my action moving away but i can not help this fear and act of running i do. i am not rejection them at all its me who has the problem they pick up on this they get very mad and move on to next girl who is comftable in her skin and happy in her body as i am not happy in mine and hate the mirror. i am afraid i will never feel affection from guy i might like which i have none .i am shy and quiet and very reserved .i never had boyfriend when a guy close i say no run away in fear he might like i run in fear he might not like me i am so lost and confused .

other women don't have this problem i feel so weird i am scared of not getting affection i am of getting affection i am so lost i have no solution to my problem

PLEASE NO MORE REMARKS AND MAKING FUN OF ME .MAKING JOKE OF ME .i have this to be serious problem which make me feel ailen and weird and stupid. guys hate me on top it,
 
unlucky in life said:
i move away from guy if he has arm around me all i do is feel like running away male physical contact.i am scared if guy got close i act all weird and strange and other side i am afraid not to get kissed i never have done i never have been kissed that scares of that too.

With UIL's previous posts in mind, is this some kind of huge freaking breakthrough to everyone else here or is it just me?
 
^ yes jjam a breakthough. Applause!

Anyway, OP, you're probably just a little bit anxious, nothing wrong is going to happen if you really like the guy and if he really likes you.
 
IF a guy i like or liked me i get scared of physcial contact or any type of closeness i move away do some guys take as a harsh rejection against them when its me who has the problem and NOT HIM
 
unlucky in life said:
IF a guy i like or liked me i get scared of physcial contact or any type of closeness i move away do some guys take as a harsh rejection against them when its me who has the problem and NOT HIM

Look, would you like to be kissed? What are you afraid of?

I can kind of get the whole intimacy issues thing (I think I may have it to some degree in that I don't let people get close to me much), but you're going to have to learn to just relax if you want to have a guy interested in you.

If you're responding to the right (e.g. a nice) guy, all he's going to want to do is put his lips on your face in a warm, deliciously soft and probably spine-tinglingly awesome manner. If he's putting his arm around you, that's because he feels protective of you, not because he wants to break your spine and devour your innards.

Why do you want to run? What scares you? You're quite capable of controlling how far a guy goes with you (and the same of him with you), so quit worrying and enjoy yourself! Most of us here want arms round us or kisses on our faces :p

It takes a lot of guts to put your arm around a girl, we risk embarrassment or rejection by doing that. So if a guy is doing that and you like him, for goodness sake make it obvious!

Yes, we do feel shitty if a girl brushes us off like that. If you don't like the guy, just move away gently and be nice to him. If you do like him, freaking snuggle up a bit and show it.

And jjam, indeed. Completely different tone from that "real women" one in particular.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
IF a guy i like or liked me i get scared of physcial contact or any type of closeness i move away do some guys take as a harsh rejection against them when its me who has the problem and NOT HIM

Look, would you like to be kissed? What are you afraid of?

I can kind of get the whole intimacy issues thing (I think I may have it to some degree in that I don't let people get close to me much), but you're going to have to learn to just relax if you want to have a guy interested in you.

If you're responding to the right (e.g. a nice) guy, all he's going to want to do is put his lips on your face in a warm, deliciously soft and probably spine-tinglingly awesome manner. If he's putting his arm around you, that's because he feels protective of you, not because he wants to break your spine and devour your innards.

Why do you want to run? What scares you? You're quite capable of controlling how far a guy goes with you (and the same of him with you), so quit worrying and enjoy yourself! Most of us here want arms round us or kisses on our faces :p

It takes a lot of guts to put your arm around a girl, we risk embarrassment or rejection by doing that. So if a guy is doing that and you like him, for goodness sake make it obvious!

Yes, we do feel shitty if a girl brushes us off like that. If you don't like the guy, just move away gently and be nice to him. If you do like him, freaking snuggle up a bit and show it.

And jjam, indeed. Completely different tone from that "real women" one in particular.
but i got rejected all my life by guys i wondering is that partly why i get rejected because the ones who get close are the ones i run away from
guys have badly treated me.it could few factors how i look and i don't feel right in my skin. and feel unattractive about how i look and the got bad treatment i have gotten the name calling verbal abuse i have gotten from men the its other thing being shy and very inexperience with men in that manner may be has made bit cold towards them they pick it and react to in bad way .i know men like beautiful fit women who feel comfotbale in there skin don't mind shown alot skin where i cover up like nun due to my lack confidence and my appearance. i am afraid some one might like me then i run again fear kick once again i disappear hey pick on this
that if they get close they i run i suppose that why they don't bother
so they brand waste as too much trouble


am i right in nay of that about guys sencing i run away from they effort
how i look and my weight might as some thing to with it too .
since science say men are visual creature they can not help this

i am just wondering do they pick up this i do have genuine fear of intimacy and guys might secne this and not bother i am very shy and reserved unlike other women who have confidence and comfortable in there skin less of nightmare then me

would yee gentlemen think so
 
unlucky in life said:
i find it hard to make improved how i look because i feel i never be up to Hollywood stadrad i am only normal female not LA MODEL!

There it is.
THAT is getting seriously old. You just don't listen do you?
Not EVERY ******* PERSON wants a ******* model, get the fresia over it.
 
Callie said:
unlucky in life said:
i find it hard to make improved how i look because i feel i never be up to Hollywood stadrad i am only normal female not LA MODEL!

There it is.
THAT is getting seriously old. You just don't listen do you?
Not EVERY ******* PERSON wants a ******* model, get the fresia over it.

Hey Callie, I can understand your irritation here, but isn't that a little bit harsh?

UIL has been a bit frustrating to discuss these things with in the past, but it looks like she's really trying to take some of this stuff on board at least. The feeling I get from her posts in this thread seems a lot more realistic, more like a classic case of low self-esteem.

We're all cool folks, no need for arguing. I have hugs and cake for all!

Okay, I admit it, I'm outta cake...hugs and kisses then? No tongues...unless I say so ;)

unlucky in life said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
IF a guy i like or liked me i get scared of physcial contact or any type of closeness i move away do some guys take as a harsh rejection against them when its me who has the problem and NOT HIM

Look, would you like to be kissed? What are you afraid of?

I can kind of get the whole intimacy issues thing (I think I may have it to some degree in that I don't let people get close to me much), but you're going to have to learn to just relax if you want to have a guy interested in you.

If you're responding to the right (e.g. a nice) guy, all he's going to want to do is put his lips on your face in a warm, deliciously soft and probably spine-tinglingly awesome manner. If he's putting his arm around you, that's because he feels protective of you, not because he wants to break your spine and devour your innards.

Why do you want to run? What scares you? You're quite capable of controlling how far a guy goes with you (and the same of him with you), so quit worrying and enjoy yourself! Most of us here want arms round us or kisses on our faces :p

It takes a lot of guts to put your arm around a girl, we risk embarrassment or rejection by doing that. So if a guy is doing that and you like him, for goodness sake make it obvious!

Yes, we do feel shitty if a girl brushes us off like that. If you don't like the guy, just move away gently and be nice to him. If you do like him, freaking snuggle up a bit and show it.

And jjam, indeed. Completely different tone from that "real women" one in particular.
but i got rejected all my life by guys i wondering is that partly why i get rejected because the ones who get close are the ones i run away from
guys have badly treated me.it could few factors how i look and i don't feel right in my skin. and feel unattractive about how i look and the got bad treatment i have gotten the name calling verbal abuse i have gotten from men the its other thing being shy and very inexperience with men in that manner may be has made bit cold towards them they pick it and react to in bad way .i know men like beautiful fit women who feel comfotbale in there skin don't mind shown alot skin where i cover up like nun due to my lack confidence and my appearance. i am afraid some one might like me then i run again fear kick once again i disappear hey pick on this
that if they get close they i run i suppose that why they don't bother
so they brand waste as too much trouble


am i right in nay of that about guys sencing i run away from they effort
how i look and my weight might as some thing to with it too .
since science say men are visual creature they can not help this

i am just wondering do they pick up this i do have genuine fear of intimacy and guys might secne this and not bother i am very shy and reserved unlike other women who have confidence and comfortable in there skin less of nightmare then me

would yee gentlemen think so

UIL, you really need to forget this whole "men as visual creatures", "men wanting models" thing. Men are not some sort of lesser species, they can control how they act and what they do.

Shock/horror, some of us have brains and care more about what our partner is like as a person than the size of her bra :)

If some guy has treated you poorly in the past, he is a fool and did not deserve your attention.

What you need to do (and this goes for all girls) is start sending clear, concise signals to guys you are interested in. And when I say "interested in", I mean a guy who you find attractive and, crucially, think will treat you well.

I, and I'm sure most other guys, don't like being messed around. It hurts our feelings, it messes up our attempts to get to know a girl better, bruises our self-esteem and may even put us off her completely.

If you like someone, you need to respond positively to any sort of interest they show in you, especially if it's physical. If you don't like them, you need to gently make it clear as well. Everyone hurts less that way and there is far less confusion.

It's not anything to do with "intimacy issues" that turns guys off (unless they are dickheads anyway). Most decent guys can wait for any sort of real intimacy for a while and will understand any discomfort you may have.

The thing that DOES turn guys off is when they put their confidence on the line to approach a girl they like (and think likes them) and then she backs off with no explanation. That comes across totally differently and they start feeling they've really screwed up with their judgement.

Do you see what I mean? :)
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
Callie said:
unlucky in life said:
i find it hard to make improved how i look because i feel i never be up to Hollywood stadrad i am only normal female not LA MODEL!

There it is.
THAT is getting seriously old. You just don't listen do you?
Not EVERY ******* PERSON wants a ******* model, get the fresia over it.

Hey Callie, I can understand your irritation here, but isn't that a little bit harsh?

UIL has been a bit frustrating to discuss these things with in the past, but it looks like she's really trying to take some of this stuff on board at least. The feeling I get from her posts in this thread seems a lot more realistic, more like a classic case of low self-esteem.

We're all cool folks, no need for arguing. I have hugs and cake for all!

Okay, I admit it, I'm outta cake...hugs and kisses then? No tongues...unless I say so ;)

No, I don't think it's too harsh, because she can't seem to stop going back to it. She seems to actually BELIEVE that to be true even though numerous members have told her it is NOT true. She wants an excuse as to why guys "don't like her" so she goes after people who actually WORK to look the way they want to look. I find it offensive.
As for the low self-esteem, yes, she does have that, but until she stops making excuses and blaming other people for her own life and starts ACTIVELY doing something to change it, no one can help her. The fact that she added that statement (doesn't matter that she's edited it) just proves my point.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
Callie said:
unlucky in life said:
i find it hard to make improved how i look because i feel i never be up to Hollywood stadrad i am only normal female not LA MODEL!

There it is.
THAT is getting seriously old. You just don't listen do you?
Not EVERY ******* PERSON wants a ******* model, get the fresia over it.

Hey Callie, I can understand your irritation here, but isn't that a little bit harsh?

UIL has been a bit frustrating to discuss these things with in the past, but it looks like she's really trying to take some of this stuff on board at least. The feeling I get from her posts in this thread seems a lot more realistic, more like a classic case of low self-esteem.

We're all cool folks, no need for arguing. I have hugs and cake for all!

Okay, I admit it, I'm outta cake...hugs and kisses then? No tongues...unless I say so ;)

unlucky in life said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
IF a guy i like or liked me i get scared of physcial contact or any type of closeness i move away do some guys take as a harsh rejection against them when its me who has the problem and NOT HIM

Look, would you like to be kissed? What are you afraid of?

I can kind of get the whole intimacy issues thing (I think I may have it to some degree in that I don't let people get close to me much), but you're going to have to learn to just relax if you want to have a guy interested in you.

If you're responding to the right (e.g. a nice) guy, all he's going to want to do is put his lips on your face in a warm, deliciously soft and probably spine-tinglingly awesome manner. If he's putting his arm around you, that's because he feels protective of you, not because he wants to break your spine and devour your innards.

Why do you want to run? What scares you? You're quite capable of controlling how far a guy goes with you (and the same of him with you), so quit worrying and enjoy yourself! Most of us here want arms round us or kisses on our faces :p

It takes a lot of guts to put your arm around a girl, we risk embarrassment or rejection by doing that. So if a guy is doing that and you like him, for goodness sake make it obvious!

Yes, we do feel shitty if a girl brushes us off like that. If you don't like the guy, just move away gently and be nice to him. If you do like him, freaking snuggle up a bit and show it.

And jjam, indeed. Completely different tone from that "real women" one in particular.
but i got rejected all my life by guys i wondering is that partly why i get rejected because the ones who get close are the ones i run away from
guys have badly treated me.it could few factors how i look and i don't feel right in my skin. and feel unattractive about how i look and the got bad treatment i have gotten the name calling verbal abuse i have gotten from men the its other thing being shy and very inexperience with men in that manner may be has made bit cold towards them they pick it and react to in bad way .i know men like beautiful fit women who feel comfotbale in there skin don't mind shown alot skin where i cover up like nun due to my lack confidence and my appearance. i am afraid some one might like me then i run again fear kick once again i disappear hey pick on this
that if they get close they i run i suppose that why they don't bother
so they brand waste as too much trouble


am i right in nay of that about guys sencing i run away from they effort
how i look and my weight might as some thing to with it too .
since science say men are visual creature they can not help this

i am just wondering do they pick up this i do have genuine fear of intimacy and guys might secne this and not bother i am very shy and reserved unlike other women who have confidence and comfortable in there skin less of nightmare then me

would yee gentlemen think so

UIL, you really need to forget this whole "men as visual creatures", "men wanting models" thing. Men are not some sort of lesser species, they can control how they act and what they do.

Shock/horror, some of us have brains and care more about what our partner is like as a person than the size of her bra :)

If some guy has treated you poorly in the past, he is a fool and did not deserve your attention.

What you need to do (and this goes for all girls) is start sending clear, concise signals to guys you are interested in. And when I say "interested in", I mean a guy who you find attractive and, crucially, think will treat you well.

I, and I'm sure most other guys, don't like being messed around. It hurts our feelings, it messes up our attempts to get to know a girl better, bruises our self-esteem and may even put us off her completely.

If you like someone, you need to respond positively to any sort of interest they show in you, especially if it's physical. If you don't like them, you need to gently make it clear as well. Everyone hurts less that way and there is far less confusion.

It's not anything to do with "intimacy issues" that turns guys off (unless they are dickheads anyway). Most decent guys can wait for any sort of real intimacy for a while and will understand any discomfort you may have.

The thing that DOES turn guys off is when they put their confidence on the line to approach a girl they like (and think likes them) and then she backs off with no explanation. That comes across totally differently and they start feeling they've really screwed up with their judgement.

Do you see what I mean? :)

oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,
 
unlucky in life said:
oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,

What do you specifically feel weird about when thinking of it? Just someone being close to you?

It's a natural desire to be close to a human being of the opposite gender. Just think of it like that, relax into it, feel safe with someone around if you like them. That's all you have to do.

May I suggest that if a guy is giving you these kind of signals and you like him, that you go up and touch his arm first or something? If you start doing that (but in a subtle way), you should slowly start getting over your whole aversion to being touched or intimate with people.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,

What do you specifically feel weird about when thinking of it? Just someone being close to you?

It's a natural desire to be close to a human being of the opposite gender. Just think of it like that, relax into it, feel safe with someone around if you like them. That's all you have to do.

May I suggest that if a guy is giving you these kind of signals and you like him, that you go up and touch his arm first or something? If you start doing that (but in a subtle way), you should slowly start getting over your whole aversion to being touched or intimate with people.

yeah i know other things like being rejected in the harsh way made awful shy and very fearful scared so i stop trying getting know guys because i can already tell what they do to me.i don't like any guy at the moment is part because i am scared to get close i have be awful treated for many reason some times unknown to why i get this treatment.may be i am doing some thing subconsciousnessly and not know it .

some times i choose very badly out of lack knowledge of dealing with men
some time very macho guys choose the most stunning women they have no intertsed in me .after all hurtful rejection i have gotten i am very very scared to even try or even of getting close to guy . because the very scour outcome
 
unlucky in life said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,

What do you specifically feel weird about when thinking of it? Just someone being close to you?

It's a natural desire to be close to a human being of the opposite gender. Just think of it like that, relax into it, feel safe with someone around if you like them. That's all you have to do.

May I suggest that if a guy is giving you these kind of signals and you like him, that you go up and touch his arm first or something? If you start doing that (but in a subtle way), you should slowly start getting over your whole aversion to being touched or intimate with people.

yeah i know other things like being rejected in the harsh way made awful shy and very fearful scared so i stop trying getting know guys because i can already tell what they do to me.i don't like any guy at the moment is part because i am scared to get close i have be awful treated for many reason some times unknown to why i get this treatment.may be i am doing some thing subconsciousnessly and not know it .

some times i choose very badly out of lack knowledge of dealing with men
some time very macho guys choose the most stunning women they have no intertsed in me .after all hurtful rejection i have gotten i am very very scared to even try or even of getting close to guy . because the very scour outcome

What kind of man do you want? Simple question, not so easy to answer perhaps.

I'll tell you now, those "very macho" guys tend to be exactly the sort you don't want to get mixed up with if you care about your feelings. If a guy goes round displaying his masculinity on a badge, it's often because he's looking for someone to bed and not much else.

When you say you can already tell what they will do...that's the hang-up you have to get over. You cannot ever tell with 100% certainty what someone will be like. What you need to do is gather enough information to make a reasonable assessment of how someone treats people.

It sounds to me like perhaps you don't know how to recognise a nice guy, am I right in saying that?

Forget "macho"-ness or any of that stuff, both nice and horrible guys can be macho when they want to be. Instead, listen to what a guy has to say when he talks to people.

Is he respectful to those he talks to? Friendly? Does he seem genuine? If a guy is genuinely nice, he will be good to everyone, regardless of romantic interest in them.

It's guys like that who you want to get close to if you want a boyfriend. They will not treat you poorly, unless you give them a reason to by acting in an unfriendly manner yourself first.

Of course it might not still work out and feelings might still get hurt, but if you want to feel valued you have to look in the right places. If you're into nasty guys, they're not going to treat you as you want them to.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,

What do you specifically feel weird about when thinking of it? Just someone being close to you?

It's a natural desire to be close to a human being of the opposite gender. Just think of it like that, relax into it, feel safe with someone around if you like them. That's all you have to do.

May I suggest that if a guy is giving you these kind of signals and you like him, that you go up and touch his arm first or something? If you start doing that (but in a subtle way), you should slowly start getting over your whole aversion to being touched or intimate with people.

yeah i know other things like being rejected in the harsh way made awful shy and very fearful scared so i stop trying getting know guys because i can already tell what they do to me.i don't like any guy at the moment is part because i am scared to get close i have be awful treated for many reason some times unknown to why i get this treatment.may be i am doing some thing subconsciousnessly and not know it .

some times i choose very badly out of lack knowledge of dealing with men
some time very macho guys choose the most stunning women they have no intertsed in me .after all hurtful rejection i have gotten i am very very scared to even try or even of getting close to guy . because the very scour outcome

What kind of man do you want? Simple question, not so easy to answer perhaps.

I'll tell you now, those "very macho" guys tend to be exactly the sort you don't want to get mixed up with if you care about your feelings. If a guy goes round displaying his masculinity on a badge, it's often because he's looking for someone to bed and not much else.

When you say you can already tell what they will do...that's the hang-up you have to get over. You cannot ever tell with 100% certainty what someone will be like. What you need to do is gather enough information to make a reasonable assessment of how someone treats people.

It sounds to me like perhaps you don't know how to recognise a nice guy, am I right in saying that?

Forget "macho"-ness or any of that stuff, both nice and horrible guys can be macho when they want to be. Instead, listen to what a guy has to say when he talks to people.

Is he respectful to those he talks to? Friendly? Does he seem genuine? If a guy is genuinely nice, he will be good to everyone, regardless of romantic interest in them.

It's guys like that who you want to get close to if you want a boyfriend. They will not treat you poorly, unless you give them a reason to by acting in an unfriendly manner yourself first.

Of course it might not still work out and feelings might still get hurt, but if you want to feel valued you have to look in the right places. If you're into nasty guys, they're not going to treat you as you want them to.

what type do i want well a guy i have stuff in common with has same interested as me who i like and have chemistry with .nice looking some one i can chill out with no pressure
 
You must be very young, unlucky in life. Until the age of 23, I was almost the exact way. But later, as I craved for intimacy, these things began to change. This will happen to you too, I believe. Lose a little weight, if that's what makes you uncomfortable around guys. There's always a reason why we act the way we act and a way we can get rid of the problem.
 
iris said:
You must be very young, unlucky in life. Until the age of 23, I was almost the exact way. But later, as I craved for intimacy, these things began to change. This will happen to you too, I believe. Lose a little weight, if that's what makes you uncomfortable around guys. There's always a reason why we act the way we act and a way we can get rid of the problem.

but i also got badly treated by guys.is another reason why i am afraid too.
yes it my appearance but also my mental fear by how they reacted in the passed has made me fearful too.
 
This is a new time, this isn't the past unlucky. You've gotta give it a shot if you really want to know how it works out.

Let go. :)
 
seem how i don't have to worry no guy will ever kiss me any way .i get rejected to often i don't know what kiss feel like i feel missed out
on my 1st kiss where as others know how and getting it when they very young but me never even if guy did like
i probably run away in fear then i missed i don't want to because of my problem i run .
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
unlucky in life said:
oh i see ,but i still feel a bit weird about guy getting close i back away
so its a bit of both ,so how do i find solution to it ,

What do you specifically feel weird about when thinking of it? Just someone being close to you?

It's a natural desire to be close to a human being of the opposite gender. Just think of it like that, relax into it, feel safe with someone around if you like them. That's all you have to do.

May I suggest that if a guy is giving you these kind of signals and you like him, that you go up and touch his arm first or something? If you start doing that (but in a subtle way), you should slowly start getting over your whole aversion to being touched or intimate with people.

yeah i know other things like being rejected in the harsh way made awful shy and very fearful scared so i stop trying getting know guys because i can already tell what they do to me.i don't like any guy at the moment is part because i am scared to get close i have be awful treated for many reason some times unknown to why i get this treatment.may be i am doing some thing subconsciousnessly and not know it .

some times i choose very badly out of lack knowledge of dealing with men
some time very macho guys choose the most stunning women they have no intertsed in me .after all hurtful rejection i have gotten i am very very scared to even try or even of getting close to guy . because the very scour outcome

What kind of man do you want? Simple question, not so easy to answer perhaps.

I'll tell you now, those "very macho" guys tend to be exactly the sort you don't want to get mixed up with if you care about your feelings. If a guy goes round displaying his masculinity on a badge, it's often because he's looking for someone to bed and not much else.

When you say you can already tell what they will do...that's the hang-up you have to get over. You cannot ever tell with 100% certainty what someone will be like. What you need to do is gather enough information to make a reasonable assessment of how someone treats people.

It sounds to me like perhaps you don't know how to recognise a nice guy, am I right in saying that?

Forget "macho"-ness or any of that stuff, both nice and horrible guys can be macho when they want to be. Instead, listen to what a guy has to say when he talks to people.

Is he respectful to those he talks to? Friendly? Does he seem genuine? If a guy is genuinely nice, he will be good to everyone, regardless of romantic interest in them.

It's guys like that who you want to get close to if you want a boyfriend. They will not treat you poorly, unless you give them a reason to by acting in an unfriendly manner yourself first.

Of course it might not still work out and feelings might still get hurt, but if you want to feel valued you have to look in the right places. If you're into nasty guys, they're not going to treat you as you want them to.

that's good advise but my other problem i can't tell the difference from nasty and nice guy i always end up like the guys who don't like me or nasty guys 99.9% are not interested in romantic way they make it quiet clear they have no interested in me that way
 

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