should i give up?

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ab89

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So yeah I'm a 20 year old that has never have a gf, I have tried
to meet someone, but I get thoughts that I'm weird. There is this
girl I like at college that I get so shy that my mind goes
completely blank. I decided that if I wanted to know her that I
should go to where she works which is a bookstore. One day I went to
pay at the cashier when she was there and she was very nervous didn't even say Hi or anything not even the price of the things I was buying or goodbye.So after that I didn't saw her for awhile. I started to stay late a week ago and I started to see her again. Each time she knows I'm there she pretends like I'm not even there(sometimes lowers her head. Like the other day I saw her five times in one day,I started to look at her for a bit and she pretended like I was invisible. Without eye contact I really can't do much. I really don't want to go the place she works because I don't want to be looked as a stalker and it's almost the end of the semester. Do you people think I should give up on this?
 
Maybe she's the same way, so shy that her mind goes blank too, and now she might think you think she's a total twit. You either have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, or yeah just give up.
 
just say something to her.its ok to go into the bookstore just to talk to her and if you want her to know you're interested just say you are,like ask if she wants to go see a movie with you sometime,something like that.if you just follow her around without ever saying anything to her and just looking at her,then you'll probably seem like a stalker(not saying you are,but thats what it may seem like).so just talk to her,even if its awkward or she says no its alot better than seeming like a stalker or giving up and never knowing if she'd have said yes right?
 
ab89 said:
So yeah I'm a 20 year old that has never have a gf, I have tried
to meet someone, but I get thoughts that I'm weird. There is this
girl I like at college that I get so shy that my mind goes
completely blank. I decided that if I wanted to know her that I
should go to where she works which is a bookstore. One day I went to
pay at the cashier when she was there and she was very nervous didn't even say Hi or anything not even the price of the things I was buying or goodbye.So after that I didn't saw her for awhile. I started to stay late a week ago and I started to see her again. Each time she knows I'm there she pretends like I'm not even there(sometimes lowers her head. Like the other day I saw her five times in one day,I started to look at her for a bit and she pretended like I was invisible. Without eye contact I really can't do much. I really don't want to go the place she works because I don't want to be looked as a stalker and it's almost the end of the semester. Do you people think I should give up on this?

Dear ab89,

What f**k are you doing? You should be smiling at her and say something that make her notice you more, dun just focus on her... she must see you doing something that will entice her... HAVE COURAGE AND GO FOR IT!

 
I would say give up. You have probably already creeped her out. Unless you crawl out of your shell and say something you are not getting her. Even if you do she might just think you are weird and creepy and you will at best be her friend..

So give up on this one and embark on a quest to get better at being social in general.
 
We're not that scary. I promise. And if she's scary, you can run and find one that's not-so-scary. But really. Just say hi. If you see her on campus, say something like, "Don't you work at the (bookstore name)? I think you were my cashier once!" And watch her reaction. Instead of being so absorbed in your nervousness and what you should say, focus on HER. What will she reply? How? How will her body language be? If she engages in the conversation, there's a green light. Ask why she works there. Does she like reading? Yes? What books does she like? No? Then what does she like? How did she end up working at a bookstore? Make the conversation all about her. Not only will she love it, but it'll take the spotlight off of you. If you feel like its going well, say something like "Would you like to grab lunch sometime?" And if she says no, has a bf, whatever, YOU TRIED!!! And you got over your fear. And if she says yes... Well buddy... the rest is history...

My point is, make it about her. Flatter her. Tell her her hair looks nice today. Don't give up. Girls are not monsters. Many of us would like to be approached, if she's unavailable, I bet you'll at least have made her day. She'll be beaming that someone notices her, thinks of her, and even values her from afar. It feels good to know those things, you can't go wrong. :) Good luck.
 
Write her a simple note and give it to her. Don't go overboard.

Say something like. Hi, you seem nice. I think you are cute. Want to talk sometime?
 
I'd say don't give up, because if a guy I like would act the way you do, I would act the way that this girl does... She might be the way I am, it doesn't hurt to try to make contact with her!
 
Try talking to her and seeing if it makes her uncomfortable or try to avoid you. If it does, then its probably best to back off for a long time.
 
[quote I decided that if I wanted to know her that I should go to where she works[/quote]

there are many things to consider... such as going to her place of employment, can be considered stalking.

if she doesn't acknowledge you, she may be afraid, and thinks you a stalker.

just by talking to her, can be considered stalking...

I say back off, find someone friendly...

Anyone who thinks I'm paranoid should check their local laws, in Minneapolis, Excessive eye contact is considered a form of assault...
 
Yeah, this is a lost cause. Might be best to give this one up. Most you'll get here, is the boss asking you to stop harassing his employees.
 

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