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XspydurX

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Mar 17, 2009
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In Your Heart
I am on my way to college, on the path to starting my graphic design/ writing/ photography career. I am putting forth my best effort to make sure that one day my children (if I am even lucky enough to ever have any) have better than everything I've ever had. I am making sure, right now, that my future is secure, comfortable and stable. I am only young and I know that I am not mature enough to leave the nest just yet. I know the fruit is there, waiting for me to taste it...but I also know that it is not yet ripe enough for me to savor and completely enjoy it.

His path is not even entirely clear to me, but I can make a few predictions from certain little details. His police record is not clean (I never had a problem with that before, I used to like bad guys...but I am older, and a little smarter now...I don't think I can much agree with my younger self), neither is the blood coursing through his once beautiful veins (he dabbles in some drugs...he says he isn't addicted, can stop anytime he wants...if thats true then Lucifer is my biological father and my name isn't Racquelle, it's Molly...), and I don't know much about his education since he doesn't tell me...(but he always asks how I am doing).

I know it probably sounds like I am bitching and complaining. I am not. I just don't want to be with him. I want something better for my future...
I am not a little girl anymore, and I am no longer the type to fall for just good looks alone (which is pretty much what got me in this mess in the first place). I've changed drastically in the months since dating him (snd i mean maturing BIG time, in a lot of different ways) and I don't know how it will affect him if he knew how I truly felt.

He wants too much from me. He wants actual marriage. Actual children. A life together. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but I want my children to have a better father, and I can't say he will make the cut.

I sound like a *****, I know, but I am only here with the best in mind for my future...
I don't know how to cut him loose...
Please help?
 
I did.
Thats when he said he would, then he said he wasn't addicted...and that he only ''dabbled'' a little.
And honestly I just want to be alone anyway.
At least I could mingle and not feel guilty...
 
So would it be safe to say that you just don't want a serious relationship at all for the foreseeable future? Feel like you don't want to be tied down by a man and you want to go out and be free?
 
You might as well just break it off with him.

Seems like that's how you feel anyway.

So don't prolong the moment... that's only gonna make it worse.

Do it now while you still can, and move on with your own life.
 
kamya said:
So would it be safe to say that you just don't want a serious relationship at all for the foreseeable future? Feel like you don't want to be tied down by a man and you want to go out and be free?

EXACTLY!!!!
But that is only one reason.
I knew that if I stayed with him, it wouldn't have been fun for me.

Badjedidude said:
You might as well just break it off with him.

Seems like that's how you feel anyway.

So don't prolong the moment... that's only gonna make it worse.

Do it now while you still can, and move on with your own life.

Even though I now have a really weird heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I am moving on right now.
 
He hasnt but i dont think i would put it past him, knowing what hes into

one of his friends, jokingly, called him a crazy whiteboy, but he didnt laugh when he said it...
i too that to heart though, ppl dont just call you crazy for nothing with a straight face...
 
like i said
ull b fine
really
n the graphic design/ writing/ photography
is n XCELLENT choice 4 u
btw
:)
 
Maybe you shouldn't do this, it is just a thought.

Prepare to call the cops and pick a fight. Might want a friend that can deal with him in the vacinity just in case. Observe how he behaves and if he gives you the chance have him spend the night in jail. Just don't give them any reason to punish you.

As long as you show no fear, he will know he can't mess with you. Might take you more seriously or simply leave outright. Just don't get hurt or hurt him.
 
Chasm said:
like i said
ull b fine
really
n the graphic design/ writing/ photography
is n XCELLENT choice 4 u
btw
:)

thanks, i have a creative heart :p

Skorian said:
Maybe you shouldn't do this, it is just a thought.

Prepare to call the cops and pick a fight. Might want a friend that can deal with him in the vacinity just in case. Observe how he behaves and if he gives you the chance have him spend the night in jail. Just don't give them any reason to punish you.

As long as you show no fear, he will know he can't mess with you. Might take you more seriously or simply leave outright. Just don't get hurt or hurt him.

Oh, I'm not worried about my safety, My family is crazier than any body i know...he'll have to get through them first...and they already don't like him...so...I think I am safe...
but don't worry, if my fam dosent help, im not a dummy...trust me...he wont get to me :p
 
Sounds like you have no interest left in this guy or in a serious relationship at the moment, which is perfectly fine and normal, you mentioned you're young. This is the time to explore what you need, who you are, all that wonderful stuff. So call him up, meet up at a coffee shop/diner/park/whatever and say it straight up, this is not working out anymore. You're growing up, moving on, need something different, need to be alone and find yourself, the sort.

Sounds like the sooner you do this, the happier you'll be.
 
Uhm yeah this guy sounds like really bad news and is trying to minimize it and cover it up.
 
I've already moved on, thankfully. It's been over for days, and I am so happy and relieved...but I am not getting into anything else for a while. I need to take a breather :p
 
Mhmm. And make sure to let any future partners know that you are not looking for anything serious and hopefully you won't have to do this again with someone else. It shouldn't be too hard to find what you want as a freshman in college. :)
 

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