befriending someone with severe depression

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evanescencefan91

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I got introduced to a friend of a friend a week or two ago and she seems pretty cool and we went to a concert a week ago (great concert, great local bands by the way)


Anyways I was checking on fb earlier and her status was kind of/ pretty much implying suicide and I noticed no one else had commented so I called her to make sure she was ok and talked for a bit and she had been going through a lot. I've never called anyone in this situation, I felt kind of scared. She said had gone through some stuff worse than me, and had bad really bad anxiety, I mentioned that I had dealt with some anxiety in my life as well.
She mentioned we should hang out or go to the rec center together I said that would probably be cool I've got a lot going with finals coming up but I'd be free this weekend and she could text me.

I don't want to seem mean, like I don't want to friends with someone who has so much going on, they need friends. But I'm just concerned a little, I don't really know much about her or how much she is going through, and I'm afraid something bad might happen or I might make things worse somehow. I want to help her out because I've been in some bad places myself wanting some friends,I just hope nothing bad happens, I'm also kind of worried I might get wound up or in in with some the bad stuff she's been going through, I guess that may seem a little selfesh, I don't want stuff getting messed up in my life either again.

I just wanted to talk about this a little and share my concerns

thanks for listening
 
Its a choice. You can choose to befriend her, and possibly help someone at the cost of significant drama but get a loyal friend, or avoid the possible drama but also feel like you didn't help.
 
that is true, but having similar problems I would feel guilty and hypocritical if I didn't try

maybe I could tell her about the site too :)
or maybe that could make possible things worse?

But it helped me so much during my crisis, but it's also a very private place for me, I don't tell any of my friends or family about it

it's kind of been my own secret special place for me, safe, untouched and separate from my offline life
 
evanescencefan91 said:
that is true, but having similar problems I would feel guilty and hypocritical if I didn't try

maybe I could tell her about the site too :)
or maybe that could make possible things worse?

But it helped me so much during my crisis, but it's also a very private place for me, I don't tell any of my friends or family about it

it's kind of been my own secret special place for me, safe, untouched and separate from my offline life

You could tell her that this lonely and depressed friend you knew came to this site. It helped her :)

Good luck with finals, btw
 
I would just be careful. Set clear boundries for yourself. If things are bad, get outside help.
 
Yeah, like Ignored said, there's going to be some drama. I think what you did was great, you seem to know full well what to expect and what you might be getting into.
 
I wouldn't be too concerned about getting caught up in any potential drama in this friendship. Drama is relatively easy to extricate yourself from anyway. My main concern would be how deeply depressed this girl is. Hyperdepressed people are like black holes coming right at you. Set boundaries for yourself when you hang out or talk to her. If you feel yourself getting emotionally dragged down by her, make sure you have a plan to remove yourself from the situation. It's noble to want to help her but your emotional well being comes first. It's awesome that you were sensitive enough to know that there was something not quite right behind her status update and to be concerned, just don't give too much of your energy away.
 
Thank you so much for the kind replies guys they helped to make me feel better,and I'll keep those in mind :)
 
evanescencefan91 said:
Thank you so much for the kind replies guys they helped to make me feel better,and I'll keep those in mind :)

Always glad. Still remember when we first began posting here :) We've come a long way, no?
 

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