TrailerTrish
Well-known member
Perhaps we have all known people who cannot be a friend or supportive at all when we are hurting bad, going through a very rough time, and continuous misfortune and hardship at the hands of others, but I'm pretty sure they should not be members of our own families, and especially not our parents.
I didn't meet my real father until I was 35, and when I did I had a successful career in IT, and was making very good money. Dad was very impressed with this and as long as I was upbeat and happy everything was just grand between us. However, over time I saw that any time I was feeling sad, or was hurting over anything he would distance me as fast as he could, or worse, would put me down for it and snap me off quite brutally.
Well in 2005 my position was outsourced, and after that I lost everything I had worked 25 years for, plunging into poverty and hardship while at the same time thieves posing as my friends ripped me off for everything they could, betrayed and abandoned me having gotten what they wanted from me.
Over the last 7 years I've been through a great deal of hardship in grinding poverty, in the worst job market since the great depression, and because of that my dear old Dad has recently just written me off as a loser he wants nothing more to do with. He did this just before I finally got a good job for good money with a lot of opportunity for advancement with a good company.
Well Dad has always been a hard-ass tough guy, born in the 1930's, and he sees anyone in emotional pain as weak and contemptible. To Dad there is no excuse for not being successful and having a good job, no matter the facts, the economy, the job market, there's no excuse, and you are just lazy and not trying if you are out of work. Dad cuts no slack at all, not even the least bit.
What he did was send me a book all about how f*cked up I am and how he thinks I should fix myself, writing in the front leaf of it how he's all done with me after he's supported me emotionally all these years (!!!!) and to read the book. It's some book about how to succeed in big business. Yeah right Dad, you failed at every business you ever got into!
The fact is that my Dad cannot handle the emotions of those close to him because he's just too selfish to give anything of himself in that way, and has always been a fair-weather father in that regard. I guess I shouldn't have expected any more from him after he left us when I was 4 and never paid child support or had any contact with us at all until we looked him up.
At this point I'm really quite indifferent about ever speaking to him again.
I didn't meet my real father until I was 35, and when I did I had a successful career in IT, and was making very good money. Dad was very impressed with this and as long as I was upbeat and happy everything was just grand between us. However, over time I saw that any time I was feeling sad, or was hurting over anything he would distance me as fast as he could, or worse, would put me down for it and snap me off quite brutally.
Well in 2005 my position was outsourced, and after that I lost everything I had worked 25 years for, plunging into poverty and hardship while at the same time thieves posing as my friends ripped me off for everything they could, betrayed and abandoned me having gotten what they wanted from me.
Over the last 7 years I've been through a great deal of hardship in grinding poverty, in the worst job market since the great depression, and because of that my dear old Dad has recently just written me off as a loser he wants nothing more to do with. He did this just before I finally got a good job for good money with a lot of opportunity for advancement with a good company.
Well Dad has always been a hard-ass tough guy, born in the 1930's, and he sees anyone in emotional pain as weak and contemptible. To Dad there is no excuse for not being successful and having a good job, no matter the facts, the economy, the job market, there's no excuse, and you are just lazy and not trying if you are out of work. Dad cuts no slack at all, not even the least bit.
What he did was send me a book all about how f*cked up I am and how he thinks I should fix myself, writing in the front leaf of it how he's all done with me after he's supported me emotionally all these years (!!!!) and to read the book. It's some book about how to succeed in big business. Yeah right Dad, you failed at every business you ever got into!
The fact is that my Dad cannot handle the emotions of those close to him because he's just too selfish to give anything of himself in that way, and has always been a fair-weather father in that regard. I guess I shouldn't have expected any more from him after he left us when I was 4 and never paid child support or had any contact with us at all until we looked him up.
At this point I'm really quite indifferent about ever speaking to him again.